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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25766995">About a boy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/percywinchester27/pseuds/percywinchester27'>percywinchester27</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Orphanage, Blood, Bullying, Child Abuse, Feels, Fluff, Gen, Orphanage AU, Physical Abuse, Suspense, Trafficking, Violence, Weechesters, child trafficking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:00:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>48,625</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25766995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/percywinchester27/pseuds/percywinchester27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fifteen year old Dean Winchester has a secret. A secret that could really land him in trouble. He never expected to connect with anyone when he walked into the ‘Blue Stone Orphanage for Boys,’ but even then, the walls he had put up are slowly coming down. Now, a series of strange events are threatening to expose him. When everything starts falling apart around him, will he still be able to save the one person that matters the most?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please consider giving me some feedback. I am really happy about how this story turned out :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two bags landed on the asphalt with a definitive thud, the straps sliding from his sweaty hands almost effortlessly. Dean squinted at the gloomy façade of the huge, seven storey high building before him. The faded brown walls and lackluster frontage wasn’t even attempting to impress. The stairs leading up to the portico were rickety and looked like they could barely hold any weight. The hanging sign, with letters that were barely recognizable, read- ‘<em>Bell stone Orphanage for boys.’ </em>The solid wooden columns seemed to be holding the weight of more than just the building- they bore the burden of hopelessness, disappointment and monotony. The thought of spending his days here made Dean nauseous.</p>
<p>He peered into the darkness behind the windows. It was late in the evening, but there was no movement. The tedium that he found there set his mind. Dean took a deep breath, ground his teeth together and bent down to retrieve the bags. He slung the smaller one, with a longer strap across his torso and grasped the heavier one with both his hands as he made his way up the creaky steps. </p>
<p>He pushed the front door, the creaking ominous and uninviting. Without overthinking it, Dean stepped into the dismal corridor, and made his way towards the office at the very end. It faded plate read “Andy.” That’s all.</p>
<p>Dean deposited both his bags on the musty, stained sofa that looked like it could have been here for a couple of centuries and walked up to the counter. The guy behind the desk did not look up at first. He had long brown hair at the back and a weird 70’s hairdo up front. It looked ridiculous, even more so because the guy was at least in his early forties. Muscled and tall like a biker.</p>
<p>Dean cleared his throat.</p>
<p>The wannabe rockstar looked up, and raised on bleary eyed eyebrow. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“I’m the new kid,” Dean said.</p>
<p>Counter guy, Andy, Dean remembered, gave him a thorough once over, taking in the torn jeans, worn out and over large leather jacket, and the dirty undershirt.</p>
<p>“New kid, huh?”</p>
<p>Dean said nothing, waiting for the guy to get done with his elaborate inspection. He was used to it, used to being judged, used to the distrust. Today, he had to be patient, though.</p>
<p>Apparently, Andy found whatever he was looking for. He pulled out a huge register and tapped a key on the decrepit keyboard of an even more decrepit desktop. The screen slowly sang to life.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Andy said, putting a finger to his tongue and then flipping the thick pages of the register with it. “Name?”</p>
<p>“Winchester.”</p>
<p>“Dean Winchester?” Andy asked, reading from the page before him.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“You’re in here, alright, kid.”</p>
<p>Dean nodded, not knowing what else to do.</p>
<p>“Alright, Dean, I’m going to ask you stuff and you’re going to answer it truthfully, you get me?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>Andy held his gaze. “Don’t lie to me, kid. I’ve been here way too long to not be able to tell a lie from the truth.”</p>
<p>Dean gave another quick nod. He wasn’t intending to lie. Not for most part.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Andy continued as if the little threatening sidetrack had never happened. “You have to give me your full name.”</p>
<p>“Dean Winchester.”</p>
<p>“No middle name?”</p>
<p>“Nope!”</p>
<p>Andy wrote that down.</p>
<p>“Age?”</p>
<p>“15,” Dean said, without inflection. Andy gave him another once over as if ascertaining his words. Dean wanted to roll his eyes. Out of all the things that he could lie about, why would age be one?</p>
<p>“It says your foster parent tossed you out and that’s why you’re here. That correct?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Dean sighed.</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“I- ” he started and then stopped. Andy must have known at least some of it. He was just testing to see if Dean was going to lie. “I had become a problem kid to them, so they tossed me out.”</p>
<p>Andy gave a knowing look. “What did you do?”</p>
<p>“Picked a little thing off the rack at the supermarket,” Dean shrugged. “I don’t know why it was such a big deal.”</p>
<p>The man in front of him made a show of sweeping his hair behind. “I’ve had the kind of you before, but around here, your little stunts won’t work. You have to keep your nose clean. Nobody is tossing your ass onto the cold street here, but you put one toe outta line and it won’t be pretty. We clear?”</p>
<p>“Crystal.”</p>
<p>Andy probably wanted to sound threatening, but it sounded more like a learned speech. He was telling the truth, then. Andy had seen many like him, and he’d also said the same words way too many times.</p>
<p>He went on to ask about his schooling, police records, what work he could do, and Dean went on to answer it all. He wasn’t bad at school. The records weren’t non-existent, but there wasn’t anything solid to it either. Nothing that would put him under the radar immediately. He told Andy about having worked at a garage and how he knew his nuts and bolts.</p>
<p>His instinctive scoff for the innuendo in that particular answer earned him a smirk from Andy.</p>
<p>“Last one,” Andy read from the form. “You know anything bout your folks?”</p>
<p>“Dead. Both of them. A house fire got them.”</p>
<p>“Uhhuh… Any blood relatives?”</p>
<p>“Not that I know of,” Dean answered.</p>
<p>“No siblings?”</p>
<p>Dean’s answer to that was firm. “No.”</p>
<p>Andy did not say he was sorry about Dean’s folks. He had probably heard one too many sob stories before.</p>
<p>“There’s rules to living here,” Andy told him. “You have to take your turns to do the chores. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and babysitting the younger kids. You can’t go out into the grounds after 8. At no point are you to leave the premises except to and from school, without permission. You have to be up at 5 every morning and get started. Most importantly, you are not to cross over to the left wing. At all.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Sir,” Dean said.</p>
<p>Andy almost smiled. “You don’t have to call me that. ‘Andy’ will do just fine.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“Alright, Winchester, you are good to go,” Andy concluded. He got up and stretched his hands over his head. Man, he was taller than what Dean had assumed. 6'3" at least. “Grab your stuff, we’re heading to the 5th floor. That’s where everyone from 15- 17 years bunks. After the lights go out at 10, you’re not allowed to leave your floor. There’s grills at ever landing and we lock them at lights out, so you can’t go around the whole building.”</p>
<p>“What if there’s a fire?” Dean asked. “You lock the floors here, and we can’t cross over to the left wing staircase, how the hell are we to get out?”</p>
<p>Andy’s head whipped towards him. “How do you know about the staircase in the left wing?”</p>
<p>“Rocket science, man,” Dean scoffed. “Of course there must be staircase, how the hell do people move around on that side then?”</p>
<p>Andy didn’t look completely convinced, but he let it pass.</p>
<p>Upon reaching the 5th floor, which was about as dingy as the rest of the building, Andy put two of his fingers to his mouth and let out a loud whistle. A couple heads peeked out of the rooms.</p>
<p>“You,” Andy called out. A thin, black-haired boy of about 16 walked out of one of the rooms. He was wearing a knitted sweater and khaki pants.</p>
<p>“New kid, here. Get him to the bunk underneath you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, okay,” the boy said, eyeing Dean.</p>
<p>“Let me know if you need anything else,” Andy nodded, then walked back the way he had come, leaving Dean with the black-haired boy.</p>
<p>“My name’s Cas, short for Castiel,” the kid smiled, extending his hand. He had clear blue eyes like a beautiful morning. “Don’t take anything Andy says to heart. He really loves scaring the new kids.”</p>
<p>“Naw, man,” Dean said. “I don’t scare that easy.”</p>
<p>“Be that as it may,” Cas continued. “You shouldn’t take everything too lightly here, either.” With that he whisked Dean towards the far end of the corridor and into the last room. It was tiny… tinier than what Dean had expected. Two sets of bunk beds were pinned to the opposite corners along the length of the wall with just enough space between them to fit one desk and a chair. Clothes were shabbily strewn across the bottom bunk of one of the sets and there were piles of books on top of the other.</p>
<p>“This one is yours,” Cas pointed to the bunk below the books. “But err… for tonight you might want to sleep up.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Dean questioned.</p>
<p>“Uhhggg… let’s just say the initiation here isn’t the best,” Cas said, hesitantly. “It’s dark already. Everyone’s down spending their last free hours of the night in the rec room. If you get on top, no one will have to know that you’re here till tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Dean appreciated the concern, but he could take care of himself. Nevertheless, he accepted Cas’ offer. Pushing one bag under the bed, he hauled the satchel over the bunk and then climbed up after it. He handed Cas all his books then laid on his side, facing the wall.</p>
<p>Twice there was scuffling in the room, once before the lights went out, and once after, but Dean didn’t turn, assuming it was the other two kids. Cas was snoring softly in the bunk below. That boy seemed really nice… too nice for a place like this, at least. Dean wondered how long he’d been here, and how he’d managed to survive with his heart still in place.</p>
<p>It got eerie quiet after that. So quiet that Dean could even hear his own heartbeat in the pitch darkness. He thought about everything that Andy had said, then worried if he had picked a lie in Dean’s word. For most part he had  been truthful.  Dean’s parents had both died in a fire when he was 4. He had been tossed around a couple foster homes as a kid. He had given the correct address of the last place he had lived at. And he had once picked up a thing or two from the shop. </p>
<p>But he had lied. He had lied about being thrown out now. He had lied about how he’d ended up at the orphanage. Most of all, he’d lied about how he did not have a brother.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The orphanage wasn’t quite as gloomy in the daylight, Dean concluded, but still gloomy enough. Cas showed him around the place in the morning. The shower rooms, the mess, the grounds. Everyone looked at him as they passed. The new kid. As if he hadn’t had that before. </p><p>The building was I- shaped, and a good chunk of the T-shape was occupied. No one really knew what happened in the left-wing. It was boarded and the only way to go there was from the ground and up the other staircase. The ground floor had the office, the library, store room, record room, the kitchen and the mess hall, which overlooked the huge, unkempt backyard. </p><p>The first floor was mostly storages and a creepy meeting room for when interested couples visited the orphanage to look at a kid up for adoption. Looked like a jail cell to Dean. The second floor had a Rec room with one old TV set. A couple of computers that looked like they were about to give up any second now. A table tennis board and a few other random board games. It was longish room, like several walls had been knocked down to make space for it, with an assortment of mismatching sofas. The place was about as lively as an almost abandoned old age home. The second floor housed kids from 3 to 6, third floor from 7 to 10, then the floor above had 11 to 14 and the fifth floor, the one where Dean was to live was 15 to 17.</p><p>He kept his head down all through breakfast, carefully watching kids file in and file out. There must have been at least 600 to 700 of them in the whole building. It was a big facility and that just made it all the more difficult for him. Afterwards, he stood by the widow, seeing all the little kids scramble on to one bus after another and head to school. Dean started the day after, so today was all he would get. </p><p>Cas clapped him on his back on his way out. “Stay quiet, alright?” his blue eyes twinkled. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>As soon as all of them were in the bus, Dean slipped out of the mess quietly. His cleaning duties weren’t going to be assigned till later today which is why he had to make the most of his time. He passed Andy in the hall, who was headed towards his office.</p><p>Dean nodded to him, all the while cursing under his breath. The record room was just down the corridor from Andy’s office. How was he going to break into it with Andy just around the corner? He had to try though.</p><p>He looked around once Andy had passed, then doubled back to the record room. It was locked.</p><p>Great!</p><p>He pulled out the lock pick he kept with him from his pocket and picked it open, cursing once more because this would leave evidence, and he was, at no cost, supposed to draw attention. Once inside, he shut the door behind him and turned to face the room. His breath caught. The room was full of racks stacked with files. There must have been thousands and thousands of those. Till there was only enough room to walk around.</p><p>“Shit!" </p><p>There was no way he was going to find one single record in this sea of files. He went along the first row anyway, maybe they were categorized alphabetically, though being organized seemed highly out of character for the whole place.</p><p>Still, Dean went around, looking for ‘W.’ That wasn’t the most common letter for surnames, now was it?</p><p>All of a sudden the door barged open. </p><p>"Who’s there?” A voice called. Dean jumped, startled. “It’s me…” he said, as meekly as he could manage. I’m new here… I got lost.“</p><p>"Come out, now.”</p><p>Dean walked back carefully till he was at the start of the rack. A lanky boy of about 19 was standing at the door. He wore a janitor’s uniform, and looked slightly punch drunk.</p><p>“You shouldn’t be here, kid!”</p><p>“I-I got lost…” he stammered.</p><p>The janitor dude, walked closer,eyeing Dean. The nameplate on his chest read “Garth F.”</p><p>“Alright, but don’t have Andy catch you snooping around next time,” Garth scolded good-naturedly. “Now off you go.”</p><p>Dean didn’t need to be told twice. He made a beeline straight for the 5th floor. Not stopping till he was on his bed, heart pounding out of his chest.</p><p>What had he been thinking? Getting caught on the first damn day?</p><p>He could barely swallow the lunch and then hit the sack at 5, before Cas could get back from school. Dean was starting to like him, and at this point he couldn’t really afford to do that. The sleepless night and an afternoon of over thinking, at least, aided in passing out cold.</p><p>Dean was awoken by a rag thrown over his face, suffocating him. He tried to flail, to yell but rough hands grabbed his legs, his arms, pinning him to the mattress. </p><p>“Don’t make a sound, or you’ll pay for it,” someone hissed in his ear.</p><p>So, this was the <em>initiation</em>. Deliberately, Dean stopped moving. If he didn’t know who he was watching his back from, none of this would ever work.</p><p>He was roughly shoved into a huge gurney bag and then dragged across the hall. Fortunately, not down the stairs. He guessed that whoever the captors were, at least they were scared of making too much noise, so he wasn’t obviously staying on the same floor. 24 steps down, flat stretch then a pause then a left turn, another 24 steps. Dean tried to memorize every step, but what with all the juggling around, it was hard to make sense of the direction.</p><p>Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the gurney carrying him was thrown on the ground. The fall hit his head hard. Then it began, the ceaseless thrashing. Hands and feet, mostly feet found each part of his body, hands, head, leg, just everything. He curled up into a ball, head in hands to avoid getting hit in the eye or getting his nose broken. That thing was permanent and he didn’t want to live his life with a crooked nose.   </p><p>At long last he was dumped on to the ground unceremoniously. At first, he didn’t remove his hands from over his face, but when nothing happened immediately, he blinked into the darkness, barely seeing anything.</p><p>“What’s your name, kid?” A harsh voice asked.</p><p>“You want it tattooed on your chest?” Dean asked. It earned him a swift kick to the gut.</p><p>“Smartass.”</p><p>The comment was a throwaway, but Dean could hear a hint of grudging admiration.</p><p>“Your name?” Another voice asked, this one was harsher, and also older.</p><p>Dean wanted to throw another comment, but he figured he needed to get up first to have at least some advantage. If answering was going to buy him time, might as well.</p><p>“Winchester.”</p><p>“Think I’ve heard that name somewhere,” the first voice muttered. Dean inhaled sharply.</p><p>“Winchester what?” Second voice.</p><p>“Dean Winchester,” he replied, hoping that the first voice had something more to add to. Sneakily, he got on his knees, his body killing him as he ambled.</p><p>“We have an initiation system here, Winchester,” a third voice added.</p><p>How many were there? In the bare light coming from the far away lamp near the side building, Dean could make out at least 5 silhouettes. There could be a couple more. </p><p>There was no way he could fight his way through all of those.</p><p>“Strip!” The harsh voice said.</p><p>“What’s the fun in that?” Dean said, careful, calculative. If he had the disadvantage of the darkness, so did they. Maybe, just maybe he could run away.</p><p>Another shove. Dean almost fell back this time. When the second shove came, he was ready to block it and throw it back. His one hand collided with the assailants and the other landed on his back, pushing him down. There was a muted yell and whoever the boy was, took another one down with it.</p><p>“Think you’re smart, huh?” The harsh voice asked, and three figures crowded in. </p><p>“Wait!" </p><p>The huffing thin frame of Castiel threw himself before Dean. "Let him go, Michael.”</p><p>So that was the bully’s name.</p><p>“Castiel?” Michael backtracked. “What’re you doing here?”</p><p>“Dean’s my friend. I can’t let you guys do that to him.”</p><p>Michael seemed to regard Cas. “<em>This</em> happens to every kid.”</p><p>There were jeers in the background.</p><p>“Yeah but he’s not a kid anymore” Cas said, hurriedly. “C'mon, man! Let it go.”</p><p>Even in the darkness, Dean could see Michael’s shoulders go taut. “Why are you trying to save the  newbie’s ass, Castiel? What’s in it for you?”</p><p>Cas said nothing, and Dean wondered the same. What did he get out of saving Dean?</p><p>“I’ve had enough of this soap opera,” Michael said impatiently. “Gary, pull Castiel away. Let’s get this show on the road.”</p><p>There was a sudden whelp, and then Cas grunted, as if he had been hurt. </p><p>“No,” Dean shouted, losing his calm now. Whatever Cas’ deal was, he had still tried to help Dean. He didn’t deserve to get punched for it. “Let him go. If you got guts, come at me, asshat.”</p><p>No one answered. There was just a flurry of movement and Dean was down on the ground once more, the dust making him cough. They could thrash him for all they wanted. He knew they would succeed because they had the advantage of numbers, and they knew the place well while he was plunged in this darkness. But, like hell he was giving up without putting up a fight. His only concern was Cas. He had to be okay.</p><p>“Gentlemen!” A silky voice suddenly interrupted. The thrashing stopped.</p><p>“I see you’re showering our lovely new inmate with all the love.”</p><p>“Gabriel?” Michael asked, perplexed.</p><p>“Yo, Mikey!! You back to abusing little kids in the alley?”</p><p>“What?” Michael’s tone quickly changed from surprise to anger. Dean noticed that this Gabriel was making no effort to keep his voice down like the others.</p><p>“Too dark here, don’t you think?” Gabriel wondered out loud. Then, there was the distinct sound of a matchstick being struck and the view was flooded with light. </p><p>Holding the match was a boy of about Dean’s age, or maybe a little older. It was hard to tell. He was blonde with light eyes. Maybe brown, maybe hazel, it was hard to tell. The most distinct thing in his eyes wasn’t the reflection of the dancing flames. It was the dancing mischief.</p><p>“You’ll wake everyone up, you idiot,” a boy said, he looked scared. From the voice, Dean pegged him as Gary.</p><p>“Oh, you’re worried about this little thing?” Gabriel smiled, looking at the matchstick that was on the verge of extinguishing. “I wonder what you’ll make of the lights that are about to flood the hallways because I left one such matchstick burning in your room. Give it… uhhh ten more minutes before the smoke sets up the fire alarm and then boom! Red lights everywhere.”</p><p>“Fuck!” Another boy cursed.</p><p>In the fading light, Dean had seen it all. The cold, calculating look in Dark haired Michael’s eyes, his three goons lurking in the background. One more was holding Cas, then there was Gary who looked ready to piss his pants.</p><p>“This isn’t over, Winchester!” Michael growled, then took off running towards the building, his goons all following him. The guy holding Cas, abandoned him, pushing him into the dirt, too. </p><p>“Are you okay?” Dean said, pulling him to his feet. “Why-”</p><p>“Well, surely he isn’t!” Gabriel said speaking over Dean, leaving all his oily pretense behind. He was irritated. “Cassy, are you out of your mind? Why did you do that?”</p><p>Cas just dusted the grime of his shirt. </p><p>“Dean was in trouble.”</p><p>“Yeah, he’s new!” Gabriel shrugged. “Why did you put your ass on the line for him?”</p><p>“Why did you put your ass in line for me?” Cas asked. “Look, Gabe, let it go.”</p><p>“It’s your head,” Gabriel said. “Just don’t lose it over some newbie idiot.”</p><p>The sound of footsteps walking away was much too loud now.</p><p>“C'mon, we need to get moving,” Cas said. They hadn’t really hurt him, but he was still roughed up. Despite that, his voice was pleasant and kind.</p><p>“Thanks, man,” Dean said, looking down as they quickly walked up the path. “You didn’t have to do that. They could have hurt you.”</p><p>“Nah, they wouldn’t,” Cas brushed it off. There was a confidence there, and Dean wondered what the story was.</p><p>They walked in silence for a while, before Cas mumbled.</p><p>“Don’t mind Gabe. He isn’t all that cocky. He means well.”</p><p>Dean got cocky alright. What he didn’t get was how Gabriel could pull a stunt like that without getting in trouble. Michael’s gang would totally get him now, but he didn’t seem bothered at all. </p><p>When Dean wondered out loud, Cas laughed. “Don’t worry about Gabe. He’s a sneaky piece of work. He has something over each one of them. Even Michael. I don’t know what, but everyone just generally stays away from Gabe, ya know.”</p><p>Survival of the fittest. Gabe sure knew how to be the dominant species. </p><p>“He seems to care about you.”</p><p>Cas’ eyes glinted in the darkness. “We’ve been together for a long time, now, sharing the same room. Well, he’s your roommate, too, now.”</p><p>They had reached the back porch now. “We can’t go in from the left wing. Those idiots probably locked that back up.”</p><p>“What do we do then?” The question was more panicky than Dean wanted it to be. The place was affecting him more than it should.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Cas reassured him. “We can stake out in the store room till the morning and then slip out when they unlock the floors.”</p><p>The plan worked without a glitch, and soon they found themselves bunking against the musty furniture at the very end. Cas stretched out on the floor and Dean took up the side against the wall. This way, they couldn’t see each other, but from the sound of his breathing, Dean knew Cas was still up.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” Dean finally said.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Why did you bust me out?”</p><p>Cas was quiet for a while. “I think you’re different, Dean. There’s something up with you. I’ve been in an orphanage all my life, I’ve seen countless kids come and go. They all look scared, look lonely. You- You on the other hand look like you’ve been sent into an enemy territory, you aren’t judging this place, you’re scoping it. Like you’re up to something. Now, I also know you’re not bad, because I saw you help out the kids out front today with the lawn when you didn’t have to. So, I keep thinking to myself why you’re here.”</p><p>Holy shit! Cas was smart.</p><p>Dean knew if he lied now, he’d suck at it, but also he’d royally insult both the favor and the trust that Cas had put on him.</p><p>“I- ” he started, feeling dangerously nervous. “I came here with a purpose.”</p><p>Cas seemed to hear with baited breath.</p><p>“You see, my parents both died in a house fire.” Dean waited for it, because now was where the “I’m sorry” came in. Cas didn’t offer one. Probably because he had heard way too many sob stories by this point, or maybe because he knew all too well that those same 'I’m sorrys’ didn’t mean a damn thing.“</p><p>"Well, I wasn’t their only kid. I had a little brother- Sam. They… they took him away and put him in some orphanage. It has been 11 years since I last saw him. Turns out the some orphanage is this orphanage.”</p><p>“Holy heavens!” Cas sat up straight, tumbling a bucket behind him. The clang of the metal it banged against, echoed through the whole room and maybe outside.</p><p>The two of them went deathly still.</p><p>There were footsteps outside, and both Dean and Cas, slipped further inside. He under the stashed away bed, and Cas under an abandoned table. </p><p>Dean pursed his lips, not daring to breathe too loudly even after the footsteps had receded. He stayed silent, watching the minutes go by. Just when he was sure that Cas had probably fallen asleep, the quietest whispers sounded in the dark. </p><p>“We’re going to find your brother, Dean. We’re going to turn this place upside down and find your brother.”</p><p>Dean did not reply. His throat was too thick.</p><p>Now that he had let his guard down, the fear, anxiety and worse, the hope came flooding into his heart, making him defenseless. He stayed up long after Cas’ hushed snores washed over him, feeling the gratefulness and camaraderie he hadn’t expected at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cas prayed. Every day. He woke up each morning, sat on the bed with his feet folded Indian style and hands joined in a Namaste. Dean would just look up from his bunk and there he would be meditating on the top in his boxers and a loose tank, eyes closed, back ramrod straight. It was funny, Dean actually cracked a smile.</p><p>For the next few days he stuck to Cas. Going around with him to the school which was about a mile and a half away, and then back. Cas didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to enjoy Dean’s company. Dean would be lying if he said he had been used to something like that before.</p><p>On the outside, it looked like Cas was taking him around the place, showing him the ropes and such, but in the few minutes they managed to snatch away from the prying eye, they were always plotting.</p><p>Dean realized one thing. It was hard. Finding Sam was going to be hard as hell. Even harder than what he thought it was going to be. </p><p>Sam had been 6 months old when he was thrown into an orphanage, and as Cas pointed out, it might have been completely another orphanage. He might have been transferred here and it could be as recent as a couple of months ago or as old as a few years. </p><p>Dean was also curious about his fellow roommates. Cas said they were nice boys, but Dean had his reservations. Gabriel, or Gabe, as Cas called him, was loud and obnoxious, he had the cheesy behavior, but his whiskey colored eyes were always full of mischief, like he knew something about you that you didn’t know yourself. His brown hair was on the longer side, and his smile dripped cunningness. Gabriel’s bed was always littered with chocolate wrappers. Even though it was against the rules to get stuff like that from outside, no one seemed to rat Gabriel out. It was as Cas had said, he had one up on everyone. Gabriel didn’t show any particular interest in wanting to get to know Dean, and Dean was thankful for that. Gabriel smelled trouble, and he didn’t want any of it.</p><p>The other roommate was silent and kept to himself, but that made Dean even more wary of him. Benny wasn’t in the face like Gabe, but he was just there, observing everything quietly. It was unsettling, like everything he did was being watched, was being noted. To add to that, he never seemed to sleep… like some sort of a vampire. It was disconcerting enough that he was now confiding everything in Cas when he had promised himself that this was going to be his own battle to fight. Now he had gone ahead and included Cas in it.</p><p>But, boy, it relieving. </p><p>Cas was just as excited to find Sam. He went over the whole management system with Dean. The place was owned by a Styne family. The head, Eldon, barely ever showed, about twice or thrice in a year. Andy was the one who managed everything. He knew that Michael and his little parade of goons were up to something, but as long as everyone remained scared of Michael, it maintained the place in order, so he turned a blind eye towards that, until something brought it to glaring attention, like Gabriel’s little stunt the other day would have.</p><p>In the coming week, Dean learnt the hierarchy. Michael’s two main supports were Gary and Raphael. Cas had warned him to not cross paths with them, because after what had happened, they wouldn’t waste a second before ratting him out.</p><p>It was Cas’ brilliant plan to sneak into the record room in the evening when everyone was out in the grounds playing and having fun. It would have worked well, but just as they were about to sneak into the record room, Andy called out to them.</p><p>“Winchester!”</p><p>Dean stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes, praying that he wouldn’t get caught. </p><p>“What’re you doing here?” Then Andy realised that Dean wasn’t alone. “You’re hanging out with Castiel?”</p><p>“Is that a bad thing?” Cas asked, voice feebly brave.</p><p>Andy smirked. “Not really. Didn’t expect you to hang out is all. What’re you doing inside at this time?”</p><p>“Thought I’d take Dean around the library,” Cas managed, effortlessly.</p><p>The older man eyed them, especially Cas, then shrugged. “Fine, if you’re gonna nerd out together. Just lock the door when you’re done. I’m not waiting back till you two are done. I have a hot date.”</p><p>That was too much information, but the moment Andy turned, Dean exchanged an excited look with his friend. They were alone now. </p><p>Ascertaining that Andy was truly gone, the two of them rushed to the record room and shut the door behind them, facing the rows and rows of filing.</p><p>“This is going to take ages, isn’t it?” Dean mumbled.</p><p>A corner of Cas’ mouth pulled down. “Guess so.”</p><p>They set to work anyway, trying to figure out the system of filing. After half an hour of going through the pile, Dean finally said out loud what was on his mind. “Why did Andy sound like he wasn’t expecting me to hang out with you?”</p><p>Cas wasn’t visible to Dean, as he was working on the rack after his, but his hushed voice was still audible. “Let’s just say I’m not the most sought out kid here.”</p><p>“What does that mean?”</p><p>A sigh.</p><p>“This place is like the jungle. Survival of the fittest and all that… You look like you could fit right in with the predators.”</p><p>What Cas meant was pretty clear. Dean gave off that vibe, what with the sullen looks and his dad’s overlarge leather jacket, he would be expected to hang out with idiots like Michael and his gang. He would be expected to give in to their stupid initiation test, lick Michael’s ass and raise to the ranks of the bullies instead of being bullied.</p><p>“I’m the nerd of sorts. I let people be,” Cas added.</p><p>Something still didn’t add up. From what Dean had seen, Cas wasn’t a bully, but he wasn’t bullied either.</p><p>“That first night,” Dean said slowly, weighing his words, “Michael could have easily hurt you, or his guy Gary, instead they just restrained you and shoved you around. Why?”</p><p>Another sigh. Apparently Dean was asking all the questions that Cas didn’t want to answer… but he did anyway.</p><p>“Michael and I… Well, we go back a long way. We come from the same orphanage. I’ve known him as long as I remember… He’s the closest thing that I have to a…”</p><p>“Brother,” Dean completed. The word hung awkwardly between them.</p><p>“He’s not a bad person,” Cas said, “Just angry and bitter. Life hasn’t been fair to him.”</p><p>Who had life been fair to? Dean thought. If that had been the case, none of the 712 boys would be rotting here at the home. He didn’t say that out loud though.</p><p>“I figured it out!” Cas exclaimed, all of a sudden. “I figured out the filing system!”</p><p>He bent around the rack to see Dean, blue eyes wide with excitement. “These are stacked according to the year. That means the one who came first, the box would be at the very end.”</p><p>“Great!” Dean groaned. “Now we have to find out when Sam got put into this one, too.”</p><hr/><p>It took more than a couple of weeks.</p><p>Mostly because Andy didn’t have a date everyday to abandon his post, but also because Dean had his share of duties, too. The cleaning, the washing, the babysitting duties for the little kids. </p><p>Sometimes, Gary and Raphael would cross him in the corridors, a few more of the older kids would give him looks, but for the most part everyone just ignored him. Who was he but another sheep added to an overly large flock? No one cared.</p><p>He quickly realised one thing though, if it hadn’t been for Cas, it would have been a lonely existence. Gabriel, he learned, had been from the same orphanage as Cas, too. They had been transferred here about 8 years back. Benny was new, but Benny also didn’t care. The place could go down in a tornado and he still wouldn’t care.</p><p>Through the chores, the school and the scheming, Dean couldn’t help but look around the kids bunking on the 4th floor, searching for eyes that looked like his, a gait like his or a crooked smile here and there. There were at least 100 of them aged 11 to 14. How was he ever going to find Sam.</p><p>“Tell me what you remember about him most clearly?” Cas asked one evening as he dumped the contents of pale brown box on the floor of the record room.</p><p>Dean thought for a second before replying. “I think it’s the smile.”</p><p>“Smile?” Cas asked pleasantly surprised.</p><p>“Yeah. I’d tell him that we could practice ball when he grew up and he’d recognize my voice and smile.”</p><p>That wasn’t a helpful detail. Cas knew all the kids, but that didn’t help if Dean couldn’t remember how to pinpoint it. There had to be something distinctive about him that Dean could remember. Something that would help.</p><p>“Tell you what? If you keep going at it, you’ll remember something helpful I’m sure.”</p><p>The comment was encouraging but Dean wasn’t sure if he had it in him.</p><p>“So, what’s your story?” Dean asked, more to distract Cas from the conversation.</p><p>“My story?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Cas scratched his black hair. “There is nothing to it. My memory begins in an orphanage. Seems like my folks weren’t interested in me from the get go.”</p><p>Must be hard, Dean thought, to know that you were never  loved enough. Sure he had to deal with the searing pain of losing his mom and dad like that, but at least he knew it in his bones that they had loved him. Did that make losing them worse? Probably. But was the possibility of love better than never having been loved at all?</p><p>“So who gave you your name?”</p><p>Cas surprised Dean by grinning sheepishly. “Someone at the old orphanage was a bible freak. They named all the kids after angels. Michael, Rapahel, Gabriel, Castiel… see where this is going? Basically, if you find a biblical name around here, you know where the kid came from, yeah? Kind of makes the distinction easy. Right, Dean… Dean?”</p><p>Dean had gone shock still.</p><p>“Dean, you okay?”</p><p>“How old were you when you came here?” Dean asked, urgently, dread growing in his chest.</p><p>“4 months,” Cas answered, “We found my file the other day, didn’t we?”</p><p>“Yes! But we went through all the files from that year and we didn’t find Gabriel’s. He was put in the same year, too. That means-”</p><p>“There are missing records?” Cas completed, voice hollow. </p><p>Dean stumbled back into the cabinet, the file he was holding slipping out of his hand. If Sam’s records were misplaced, they could go through these files their whole life and never find Sam.</p><p>“Don’t give up, Dean,” Cas whispered, but the words fell on deaf ears. He should have known that this was too good to be true, too easy. As if just by looking at all these folders he was supposed to find his brother.</p><p>As if after everything, things were just going to go back to normal.</p><p>Dean skipped dinner that night. Cas called him, but he just pretended to be asleep, till Cas had gone away. The darkness of the room wasn’t enough to shroud the hopelessness that he felt within. What was he doing in this alien place. Dean didn’t belong here. He missed the dry heat of the place that he thought of as home, now. Missed the stains of dark grease, the damn smell of a garage on rainy thundering nights. </p><p>
  <em>It was thundering that night, too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The sky cracked and lightening thundered in the dark sky. Dean held on to the crib tighter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Shhhh… Sammy,” he said running his fingers over his brothers forehead. “It’s gonna be alright.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“C'mon, let’s say goodnight to your brother,” his mom reminded him lovingly from behind as she turned the lights off. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean leaned over and kissed Sam on his forehead. “Night, Sam.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Good night, love,” his mom said, lightly brushing Sam’s brown hair back, and following Dean’s suit and kissing him, too. Dean pushed back into her. He loved the way his mom smelled. Tangy like apples.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, Dean.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean turned to see his dad standing in the doorway, a light smile playing on his lips. Dean immediately rushed over and threw himself at him. “Daddy!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His dad scooped Dean up. “Hey buddy!” Then he raised his hand, which Dean high-fived.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“So what do you think? You think Sammy’s ready to toss around a football yet?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean turned back to look and his little brother, then shook his head, laughing. “No, Daddy.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dad laughed. “I don’t think so, either.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just then mom passed them both, ruffling his hair. “You got him?” She asked dad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I got him,” dad winked at Dean, then looked over at Sammy. “Sweet dreams, Sam.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s asleep soon. Then awake. Too suddenly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His mom screamed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No! Mary!” His dad yelled “No!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean jumped out of bed and ran towards the noise. His mom and dad sounded scared. It was too warm… hot.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a fire in Sam’s room, Dad was there… no mom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Dean!” His dad called.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Daddy!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His dad was scared, sweating and hurt. In his hand was a little bundle. Sammy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He thrust Sam into Dean’s hands, his back to the blazing fire. Dean’s eyes were burning. He couldn’t see mom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Take your brother outside as fast as you can and don’t look back! Now, Dean, go!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dad pushed him hard, towards the stairs. He held Sam tightly and made a run for it, till he was outside the door and into the lawn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s okay, Sammy,” he whispered. “I gotcha.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then the window blasted and the whole house exploded in fire.</em>
</p><p>Dean sat up bolt in his bed, sweating, heart trying to beat out of his chest. He blinked his eyes not just to be rid of the moisture there but also to figure out where the hell he was. It took a couple of seconds, but then it all came to him. He was at a boys’ home. Cas was snoring lightly above him. Gabriel not so lightly next to him.</p><p>The tiny digital clock on the rickety table read 00:17.</p><p>Dean tried to breathe normally, but gave up after a couple of minutes. He wasn’t going to get any peace with the rate at which his heart was going, or how clammy he suddenly felt. The very dread he had been trying to run away from all evening, had finally caught up with him and how.</p><p>Denial was a crappy coping mechanism. He knew that, he had always known that. But what else did he have?</p><p>Getting up, he made his way to the bathrooms at the very end of the corridor, and splashed water on his face. Dean immediately felt a little better. The cold water seemed to help with frayed nerves. So, he splashed his face once more, running the water over his hands too. Not knowing what else to do, he strolled along the long passageway and came to rest in front of the staircase grill that locked everyone on to the floor. The light breeze coming in from the window opposite to the grill was calming. Dean slid down along the length of the grill to the floor, staring up at the dark sky, barely illuminated by the crescent shaped moon.</p><p>“Can’t fall asleep?” The quiet voice made him jump out of his skin.</p><p>“What the fuck!” Dean swore, his barely in control heartbeat accelerating again, as he tried to look for the person in the dark.</p><p>“Sorry,” the voice apologized sincerely. “I didn’t mean to scare you or anything.”</p><p>Dean squinted in the darkness, finally spotting the person. On the other side of the grill, on the opposite end from him was another shadow, mirroring his exact pose, huddled with his back against the grill.</p><p>“I can’t sleep, either,” the kid said, not deterred by Dean’s lack of response. “Still, sorry for creeping up on you.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” Dean said, not wanting to give away that he actually had been frightened.</p><p>“You new?”</p><p>Dean shrugged, then remembered it was actually too dark to see anything. “Yeah.”</p><p>“It can be hard,” the boy said. “Lot of new admits find it  tough to adjust.”</p><p>Was the kid patronising him?</p><p>“Not much of a talker, I see,” said the kid. “I’m gonna shut up now.”</p><p>It made Dean smirk despite himself. “What’re you doing up?”</p><p>The voice perked up at some response. “I got a math Olympiad, tomorrow. I suck at it.”</p><p>“You’re up because you’re nervous about a silly test?”</p><p>It brought Dean up short. It shocked him that there were kids here with normal fears, like tests and exams. Not everyone was on a mission to find long lost brothers. How stupid of him to just overlook that? It made him feel out of place.</p><p>“Like you’ve never been worried about an exam before? And it’s not a  silly test, It could be my one way ticket into a University.” He’d offended the kid. Must be what? Around 11 or 12 years of age. Couldn’t be less than that since he bunked on the 4th floor.</p><p>“You’re just like the other big guys,” the kid muttered. </p><p>“It’s not like that,” Dean said. “I’m just distracted.” Why was he explaining this to the kid anyway?</p><p>“That’s fine,” came the reply, chirpy again, apparently satisfied with Dean’s half-hearted explanation. “I know the sort of crap that goes on up on your floor.”</p><p>“Know something about that, huh?”</p><p>“Everyone does.”</p><p>Fair enough. “I’m not a favourite,” Dean warned. “It’d be better for you to not be found chumming up with me.”</p><p>“I don’t care.” The answer was firm. steely. “I hate bullies.”</p><p>The word ‘hate’ somehow sounded harsh coming from a soft voice like that. Dean had to raise an eyebrow.</p><p>They sat in silence for a while. Dean let his mind wander through all that had happened today. Sam’s smile kept invading his mind. His light eyes, his brown hair.</p><p>“Brown hair!” Dean yelped.</p><p>“What?" </p><p>"Nothing,” Dean said, more to himself than the kid. “He had brown hair.” Like their dad's… lighter, but still definitely brown.</p><p>Dean couldn’t give up now. Not when he was already in here. He couldn’t stop looking for Sam. If he didn’t give it his best shot, he’d regret it all his life. He would go through every damn file, tear the place apart if it means that he could find his brother again.</p><p>“Are you alright?” The voice on the other side sounded vaguely concerned, as if not anxious about Dean per se, but doubting his mental health.</p><p>Dean didn’t care. At last, he could actually breathe. Freely.</p><p>“Hey, kid, thanks!”</p><p>“For what?” Perplexed.</p><p>“Nothing,” Dean almost grinned. “Good luck with your test… uh Olympiad tomorrow,” he said, getting up and dusting his clothes.</p><p>“Thanks, I guess?” The voice trailed behind him as Dean walked back to his room. He fell on the bed fully clothed.</p><p>Tomorrow would be a new day, and he would try again… and again and again till he succeeded.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“How many Sams can there be?” Dean complained as they walked back from school. “I mean seriously?”</p><p>Cas smiled sympathetically. “It’s not about how many. It’s about the shuffling crowd. Stynes- the family that owns the place - are apparently very influential. They have all sorts of crazy contacts and kids just get adopted all the time.”</p><p>“Really?” Dean tried to keep a poker face. It wouldn’t bode well to let Cas see through him about what he really thought of the Stynes.</p><p>“Yeah.” Cas said, blissfully ignorant of Dean’s tone which was grudgingly challenging. “I mean, it’s not like you and me stand a chance, but the little kids are taken up all the time.”</p><p>“Sam’s not a little kid.”</p><p>“True, but the kids still get shuffled a lot. Foster homes, other orphanages. You could see one face today, and then never see it again.” Cas narrowed his eyes.</p><p>“You sound weirded out by that,” Dean noted.</p><p>Cas looked at him, brow furrowed. “But it is weird, isn’t it? My earlier orphanage was so sleepy. Barely anything happened there. Then there’s this place which is so secretive, doesn’t let the kids interact across all age groups. I’ve been here for 7 years, Dean, and I just never get to know everyone.”</p><p>Dean stayed quiet. This conversation was dangerously inching towards the subject of how and why Dean had ended up at the orphanage in the first place. And Cas was smart.</p><p>“Shit.” Cas stopped, eyes wide and panicked. “What if… what if Sam was here and they moved him away? Damn it, Dean. What the hell will we do?”</p><p>Dean pursed his lips, trying not to smile. Cas’s worry and fear was heartwarming. It was still a task to be careful about what he says because his friends kindness tempted Dean sorely. “My sources were pretty solid. He’s here. He was here when I came in. Besides, he’s 12. Kids that old don’t just get adopted.”</p><p>Dean could feel Cas looking at him curiously as they started walking again. He was tempted to tell Cas the truth, all of it, but he held back. For now, it was only his burden to carry. He didn’t want to put Cas in trouble, or worse, endanger his life. He had avoided all of Cas’s questions about where he had come from so far, but dodging the queries had proven to be harder and harder day after day. Then there was the guilt. Cas was going out of his way to help him, and Dean had been as secretive as possible. At least he could draw solace from the fact that it was for Cas’s own good.</p><p>“What about you?” Dean asked, changing the topic. “You’ve been here so long. You didn’t get tossed around?”</p><p>Again, Cas looked uncomfortable. “All of us, from the old orphanage, we’ve just stayed together.”</p><p>He didn’t say it, but Dean understood. It was Michael. Cas and everyone from the ‘Angel names orphanage’ as he called it in his head, was somehow protected. He didn’t know what Michael’s deal was, but he was up to something… something that, by default, provided a protection to everyone under his umbrella, including Cas.</p><p>All those angel named kids were settled now. They had a reassurance that they were sticking around till the end. Which explained the pride, bullying and the strut like they owned the place. But not Cas. The privilege embarrassed him.  The idea that he was singled out and treated preferentially was both unpleasant and distressing at some level to him. It made him uneasy.</p><p>It made Dean like him more.</p><p>They walked in companionable silence for the rest of the way home.</p><hr/><p>It had been 3 weeks. Dean was frustrated.</p><p>How much more searching could he do? Every minute was spent plotting the next move, trying to squeeze in time to slip into the record room. It took so much of his own patience, that Dean wondered when Cas would snap and cut himself loose from the hunt. After all, Sam meant nothing to him.</p><p>Even so, Cas’s commitment never faltered. He went about searching the records as dedicatedly as possible. Every day.</p><p>They had found six Sams in the records so far. Three of them had already turned 18 and left the boys home. One had been transferred and two more were too young. By nightfall, Dean wanted to fling something at the figurative heaven. He all but yelled at Cas to stop praying in the evening. There was no God up there.</p><p>Dean was also tired of counting all the brown haired kids. There were way too many. More than half easily. He soon realised it was about as pointless as finding a needle in a haystack.</p><p>After lights out, he slipped out of his room once more. Cas and Gabriel were both out like a light, but Benny, who was reading something in torchlight, gave Dean a look as he passed. Dean had a suspicion that Benny knew where he and Cas sneaked off to in the evenings, but he hadn’t said a word about it, neither had he given the impression that it so much as even mattered to him. Dean had learned to ignore Benny. Cas was always absolutely pleasant to him, but Benny never spoke more than a word or two. Even Gabe, who went around chilling with almost everyone, maintained a decent stance with Benny. Not like he was scared, but like he respected him.</p><p>Dean just couldn’t bring himself to feel anything. And tonight, when he walked out, with Benny’s eyes following him, he wondered if one day he was going to land in trouble thanks to Benny’s lack of response.</p><p>He found himself back at the steps, back to grill, eyes closed in the light breeze flowing through the corridor.</p><p>“Back again, I see.”</p><p>Dean did not jump this time, but his lips pulled up in a half smirk.</p><p>“So are you.”</p><p>There was a soft chuckle from the other side.</p><p>“How was the Oly… uh… the thing that you had.” Dean scratched his head. “Oh yeah… the Olympiad.”</p><p>“Okay, I guess,” the voice said. The kid sounded pleasant. “I mean, I don’t think I’m failing or anything.” Then he added in a small voice. “I just don’t want to think about the result.”</p><p>Dean snorted quietly. Normal problems.</p><p>Then it hit him.</p><p>“You’re what? 11? 12? Why’re you participating in Olympiads?”</p><p>“Seemed like a good exercise for the brain.” It was no big deal to him from the way he said it.</p><p>Smart and pleasant. That was a rare combination for a kid in an orphanage.</p><p>“How long you’ve been here?” Dean asked.</p><p>“About half a year, I guess? Ain’t the worst place I’ve been in.”</p><p>Dean raised an eyebrow. “Even with all the detention camp treatment? What with the lock-down and no interaction.”</p><p>The kid laughed, only slightly bitter. “Well, you haven’t been in too many orphanages then.”</p><p>It was true. What did Dean know about that?</p><p>“Have you been to too many?”</p><p>The boy sighed. “About five, I think. That’s not counting the abusive Children’s home.” He said it as a matter of fact.</p><p>“They hurt you?” Dean’s heart seemed to be squeezed.</p><p>“Ehhh… mostly I ended up hurting myself.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>A dry scoff. “Can’t deal with people who throw weight around like that. If I saw someone getting hit, I’d go stand up to abusive idiots.”</p><p>“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Dean murmured sincerely. It was unfair.</p><p>To his surprise, the boy laughed. “Don’t be. It’s how I learned to fight. I can throw a mean punch.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t help the appreciation he felt.</p><p>“What’s your name, kid?”</p><p>The voice went silent.</p><p>Dean waited for a couple of minutes, but no reply came.</p><p>“Hey?” He tried again.</p><p>“It’s against the rules to be out, ya know?”</p><p>“You think I’m gonna rat you out?” Dean asked, incredulous. “Look around, kid, I’m breaking the rules, too, here.”</p><p>At long last the voice sighed. “It’s Will. Short for William.”</p><p>There was some solace in getting to know the kids name after all. At least he had gotten one answer today, as opposed to all the ones he had been searching for.</p><p>“I’m Dean. Dean Winchester.”</p><p>“You have a last name,” Will noted.</p><p>That clearly meant Will didn’t have one. He had been in orphanages since he was too young to have known his real name. Sure he might have a made up last name in the papers, but it was just that, a formality.</p><p>Dean couldn’t stop himself from asking the question. “Why are you up tonight? Another test?”</p><p>Another scoff. “Not really.”</p><p>“Care to elaborate?”</p><p>Another silence.</p><p>“Well, aren’t you being one secretive bitch today?” Dean grumbled. Will intrigued him, and that annoyed him.</p><p>“You’re the one to talk, jerk,” Will shot back. “Especially after how mysterious you played last time.”</p><p>It was true. Kid had a point. He had, in fact, disappeared on the boy the last time.</p><p>A heavy exhale sounded from the other side. “It’s just, I can’t stop thinking about what lies beyond these walls. One of the boys I knew was transferred today and I don’t know where he’s gone. Sometimes I wonder if… if I even have a future.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I know!” Will said, talking fast now. “Most kids just end up on the police roll call, the only place their picture ends up is in mug shots. It’s what Andy says.”</p><p>“Andy’s an idiot!” Dean stated.</p><p>Will laughed. “Maybe.”</p><p>More silence - comforting and companionable. </p><p>Out of the blue the idea came to Dean. “Hey, there’s something you can help me with?”</p><p>“Oh-kay?” Will sounded wary.</p><p>“How old are you?”</p><p>“I don’t see how that helps you with anything, but I’m 11,” he replied.</p><p>“That’s fantastic!” How had he not thought of this before? “Do you know anyone by the name Sam on your floor?”</p><p>“Sam?” There was the usual curiosity in his voice.</p><p>“Yeah!” Dean had to keep his voice from getting the better of him. “Sam or Samuel or anyone like that?”</p><p>There was no reply, just a loud thrumming. As if the boy was tapping his fingers against his lap or the other hand. “There’s one kid called Sammy, I think.”</p><p>Dean’s throat constricted, his heart doubled its beat. Could he be? Could it really be?</p><p>“No wait… his name is Sandy,” Will corrected. “Don’t think I know a Sam… but I can’t say for sure that I know everyone.”</p><p>Dean seemed to deflate. He wanted to punch something… someone… for both- the hope and hopelessness. One of it was going to kill him, he was sure.</p><p>“What do you want with this Sam, anyway?” Will asked and Dean wanted to slap his head.</p><p>“Fine, don’t tell me! But don’t go back to being the mysterious shadow,” Will added quickly, making Dean smile.</p><p>“Let’s just say it’s a personal research project for me. It’s my way out of this place… to my future,” Dean said. He didn’t know what Will made out of it, but the kid remained quiet for a while.</p><p>“There’s twenty new kids on the floor. Came in about a month ago,” Will said, slowly. “I’ll ask around and let you know.”</p><p>Dean wanted to ask why. Why was this kid helping him? He had expected the question from Will- that ‘what was in it from <em>him?</em>’ But no such conditions came. Will offered his help freely… willingly. Just like Cas had. Maybe Dean needed to trust people more, see the good in them often, because there was all the good there, that which he couldn’t have possibly hoped for.</p><p>“Thanks, man,” he said quietly.</p><p>“No problem,” Will chimed. “I’ll keep this hushed.”</p><p>Perhaps he understood what hope of a future meant. </p><p>Dean realised that the more he got to know the people here, the more they surprised him with their kindness. Cas, Will… and unexpectedly even Gabriel and Benny in their zealousness and quiet had all helped him in their own way. Dean was starting to care. He didn’t like it.</p><p>Will yawned abruptly. </p><p>“Get some sleep,” Dean suggested. His was evading him.</p><p>There was some scuffling as Will got to his feet. “Night, Dean. I hope you find your Sam.” His voice was soft, both grave and reassuring at the same time. It startled Dean, and he wondered if Will truly understood how much finding Sam meant to Dean.</p><p>“Night,” he said.</p><p>The feet shuffled away and Dean squinted into the darkness, pointlessly trying to discern the passing shape, trying to get one look at the boy who had selflessly, unconditionally agreed to help him.</p><p>That night when he closed his eyes, for a second… or, at least, a fraction of it, Dean felt the strangest urge to send a thought up to heaven, or whatever higher power there was. He finally understood why Cas prayed, understood the urge to want something better for other people. Maybe Cas’s God will listen to Dean.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Calculus is the worst!” Will complained</p><p>“No one <em>asked</em> you to take advanced Math, you know?” Dean grinned slyly, wishing it wasn’t dark and he could see Will’s look of horror. </p><p>The cold metal was biting into the skin of his ankle where it rested against the grill. Will was on the other side as usual, prattling about his day. </p><p>“You talk like you’re acing calculus,” he muttered.</p><p>“I’m not bad. I get by.” That wasn’t entirely true. Dean was better than most kids in his class. </p><p>“Hmmm…” Will mused. “You gotta teach me.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“That’s it!” Will yelped. “I’ll keep looking for this Sam of yours and you can teach me Calculus.”</p><p>“It’s not like you’re doing great at finding Sam,” Dean shot out, then bit his tongue immediately. He regretted his words because it wasn’t fair. </p><p>But Will sighed, “I know. I’ve been terrible at it. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Dean felt guilty in a way he’d barely ever felt before. Will continued. “I’ll try harder. Give me something else to go on. Anything.”</p><p>“He has brown hair,” Dean blurted.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll scourge thoroughly tomorrow.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>It had been a couple of weeks now since Will had told Dean his name and almost every night found him by the grill. He was a patient and restful kid. Chirpy and smart. Dean liked him. So much that talking to him after lockdown had become a routine. They hadn’t really accomplished much in the past two weeks.</p><p>The constant shuffling was bothersome, but the military attitude and no contact rule was worse. It made Dean sick to his stomach.</p><p>“Dean?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Another kid… <em>left</em> today.”</p><p>Dean didn’t have to see Will to picture the terror on his face. His soft, grave voice was enough. </p><p>They had never spoken outright about it, but Dean knew that Will was seeing it too, seeing the glaring phenomenon. Both of them knew the word was ‘disappeared’ and not ‘left.’</p><p>He didn’t know what Will made of it, but Dean for a fact knew that the kids weren’t being transferred. Not all of them anyway, and he had to find out where they went, and he didn’t have much time left to find it out.</p><p>Even though he yearned to tell another soul about what he knew, he didn’t want to risk telling the truth to Will. That would just put him in danger and accomplish nothing for Dean.  </p><p>So, instead of meaninglessly using words to reassure him, Dean wriggled his fingers, then wrist through the grill and placed it over Will’s knee. Maybe this way he could convey more than words ever could.</p><p>Later, as he dragged his feet along the corridor, Dean wondered to himself. It was glaringly obvious that most kids disappeared in that age group. The reason presented itself to him almost immediately. 11-14 was the most gullible age group. Too old to be adopted, but still young enough to be naive. Boys on Dean’s floor were all on the verge of being adults. If they went missing, there would be a hue and cry. Then there was also the matter of Michael and his goons having struck some sort of deal with the management. Dean just didn’t know where Andy was involved in all of this.</p><p>“Still sneaking around to meet that kid?”</p><p>Dean jerked upright, not having realised that he had already reached his room and was seated on his bunk. Cas’ voice was quiet, but there was an undercurrent to it, one that made Dean feel guilty. Like he’d been caught stealing a cookie from the kitchen at night.</p><p>For a second he thought of denying it. Afterall, he had never mentioned about Will to Cas. Then seemed to think better of it.</p><p>“Cas, I-”</p><p>“You don’t need to explain anything, Dean,” Cas cut him off. “I just want you to be careful about whom you trust around here.”</p><p>“He’s a good kid.” Dean felt the needless urge to protest, defend Will’s loyalty. </p><p>Cas’ words were patient. “I’m not saying he’s a bad kid, but this place … even the walls have ears.”</p><p>Dean was suddenly aware of Gabriel, snoring steadily a few feet away, and silent as ever Benny. It seemed Cas realised it, too.</p><p>“We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” Cas said with a subtle finality. </p><p>That was that. </p><p>Dean kicked off his shoes, stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, then threw himself on the hard choir mattress. Despite the chill in the air, Dean was sweating, worrying about Sam… worrying if he was next in the line of ever disappearing kids.</p><hr/><p>Cas was quiet all through class the next day. Dean tried to catch his eye, but Cas expertly managed to avoid it despite sitting next to Dean in almost every class. </p><p>Finally, Dean had had enough and grabbed Cas by the arm when they were walking back to the Orphanage on the dusty road. </p><p>“Dean!” Cas exclaimed.</p><p>“Oh, c’mon,” Dean hissed, pulling Cas off the foot-trodden path and into the fringe of the forest that lined the road from the school to the Orphanage. </p><p>Cas scowled, pulling his arm back. Maybe Dean had yanked harder than he had intended. But when Cas started to walk back towards the path, Dean grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back again.</p><p>“Cas! Listen to me.”</p><p>Cas turned around, eyes closed, but exasperation clear on his face. “What?”</p><p>Dean had never seen Cas like this. Usually he was so composed and… happy. Never annoyed and irritated. Maybe he was tired of Dean’s crusade. Maybe he was finally giving up, like Dean had suspected all along. It felt like a slap to his face and a kick to his gut at the same time.</p><p>His hands dropped to his sides in defeat, letting go of Cas completely, his shoulders drooped.</p><p>The sudden weightlessness made Cas look up in surprise. </p><p>“I guess this is it then, huh?” Dean smirked, without mirth.</p><p>“What?” The round blue eyes were shocked. But Dean didn’t feel any bitterness, just the weirdest mix of gratitude and sadness.</p><p>“What do you mean ‘this is it?” Cas asked, all annoyance disappearing. “You can’t give up now, Dean. We can’t give up on Sam now. He needs to be found. And you’re gonna trust a <em>twelve</em> year old punk with this and not me?”</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>That was the problem. Cas realised what he’d said out loud as soon as Dean did, and his cheeks flushed a deep red. He was <em>jealous</em>.</p><p>His eyes dropped, and he stood there, shrouded in the shadows cast by the tall birch trees. “Dean… I’m sorry. I just- I got…”</p><p>“Hush…” Dean didn’t let him finish the sentence. Cas was what? Embarrassed?</p><p>How ironic that Cas should be embarrassed, when Dean was feeling overwhelmed and special. No one had ever been jealous over him. Not even a tiny bit.</p><p>“Forget about it. You have nothing to be sorry for.”</p><p>Cas cleared his throat, then looked at him and gave Dean a smile. A genuine and happy smile.</p><p>“So tell me about this kid.”</p><p>Just like that Dean knew he was forgiven. “His name’s Will, and he’s some sort of a Math freak. He said he’d look out for Sam… He’s trustworthy,” he added quickly, seeing the dubious look on Cas’s face.</p><p>“Okay,” Cas acquiesced.</p><p>“There’s something else I have to tell you, though,” Dean said, urgently, getting to the point. “I’ve kept something from you.”</p><p>Cas didn’t look surprised, more like a patient teacher who had been waiting for his favourite pupil to come clean about some shenanigans.</p><p>Dean took a deep breath, looked Cas directly in his clear blue eyes and said, “I lied to you about where I am from. I wasn’t transferred here from an orphanage. In fact, I have never set foot in an orphanage before this one. All my life I’ve known a home.”</p><p>Cas’s face gave away a tiny spasm, but apart from that he maintained a carefully constructed blank face.</p><p>Dean continued. “What I told you about the fire and losing my parents is true. And that I didn’t see my brother Sam after that night. What I didn’t tell you is that, since that night, I’ve lived with my dad’s friend. His name is Bobby Singer, and he is a grumpy old man.” Dean couldn’t help the wistful smile that spread across his lips at the thought of Bobby.</p><p>“He’s an awful cook, and he grumbles all the damn time. The house leaks when it rains and smells of stale whiskey. The front yard is full of the cars that come to his garage for repairs and the massive backyard is where the junk is stored for the scrap metal … but it has always been my home.</p><p>Bobby’s fed me three meals a day, paid for school and taught me every goddamn thing under the Sun. From repairing cars to picking locks. He’s…” said Dean through a thick throat, “raised me like his own.”</p><p>Now that Dean had said it, the weight of missing Bobby came crashing down on him. Weight that he’d tried to bury so deep down, because he knew even a single thought might just make him weak. Silence followed in the aftermath of his words, until Cas broke it. </p><p>“Then why did he throw you out?”</p><p>“He didn’t,” Dean said, chin jutting out. “I chose to come here.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Cas’ bewilderment was expected. Dean tried to elaborate.</p><p>“The fire… the one that happened in Lawrence, Kansas. I’ve never been there since. Bobby was with my dad in the army. He took me in to his house in Sioux falls, Missouri. Sam… he was too young to be handed over, and the authorities took him over. Through some mismanagement, they lost track of him. Bobby tried for years to track him down, from orphanage to orphanage, till he gave up. I had lost all hope of finding him till…”</p><p>“Till?”</p><p>Dean smiled at Cas’ interest. “Till Bobby started going out with the Sheriff of the town, Jody Mills.” He wrinkled his nose. “It was awful at first, watching them sneak around the house… and honestly, just plain gross. But they seem to make each other happy. And she started spending more time around the house. Then this case came over, about missing kids in a chain of orphanages.”</p><p>Cas inhaled sharply, “Dean, is this going where I think it’s going?”</p><p>He nodded. “It all boiled down to this place. Many of her leads ended right here, and one of the million case files her department had inspected was about an 11 year old from Lawrence Kansas, whose folks had died in a fire.”</p><p>“Jesus Christ!” Cas sat down on a nearby rock with a plop. “This is insane.”</p><p>“Mhmm…” Dean agreed, going to sit by Cas gingerly. “It took me awhile to swallow the nerve wracking hope. Long story short, Jody needed a warrant to search this place that she couldn’t acquire and I was hell bent on finding Sam. We hatched a plan together and she managed to put me in here for a few months. That way I could find out about where the hell all these kids are disappearing to, <em>and</em> find Sam.”</p><p>Cas still looked like he was going to faint and Dean was mildly worried about him. He swallowed loudly and asked in a low voice. “So what about the kids…. what’s happening to them?”</p><p>“Jody’s best guess is child trafficking. Child labour and that sort. But it’s just that- a guess. Either way, we need some proof about what’s happening. The Stynes are shady at best… and insanely dangerous at worst. They somehow manage to loop the system and avoid all inquiries.”</p><p>“Whoa,” Cas muttered, dazed.</p><p>“Don’t let this get you all complacent,” Dean warned. “If anything, we’re in even more danger than you thought. I didn’t want to involve you, but I’m just so worried that Sam might be next to disappear.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” Cas said. “I’m in this with you now. We’re like Hardy boys now!”</p><p>Dean grinned. With his dark hair, pale face and straight laced attitude, Cas could pass for Frank Hardy. He then checked his watch. They were awfully late. He tapped Cas on the shoulder and they sprinted up to the path.</p><p>Both of them were out of breath by the time the reached the rusty, wrought-iron gate. </p><p>“If we’re ever gonna find out anything,” Cas huffed, walking up the creaky porch steps, “We’re gonna have to sneak into the left wing and-”</p><p>“Well, well, well,” an oily voice greeted them. “If it isn’t the baby angel with the blond douchewad.”</p><p>Gary was standing at the top of the steps, hands crossed, a sick, cold smile on his face.</p><p>“I see you’re half an hour past the curfew.”</p><p>“And I see you’re still lacking a brain,” Dean retorted, unable to help himself.</p><p>The smile slid from Gary’s face as he turned around. “You’re going to regret this, Winchester.”</p><p>And sure, he did, because seconds later, Andy turned up outside, followed by Raphael and Zachariah. </p><p>“You’re past the curfew,” Andy said.</p><p>Dean stared back. “I’ve been told.”</p><p>“I told you on day one, Winchester that your cocky attitude won’t work here. Detention for a week. You’ll clean the dishes everyday for a week after dinner for the whole damn week and Gary’s gonna supervise you.”</p><p>“What the-”</p><p>Andy cut it. “And you, Castiel, too much chumming around isn’t good for anyone here. You’ll be in the laundry for the whole week. If I see the two of you loitering around together, I’ll make that a whole month. Now get lost. The dishes are waiting for you.”</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cold soapy water made the knife slip from his hand, and the tip somehow managed to tilt just the right way to slice the edge of Dean’s palm.</p><p>“Fuck!” He cursed, quickly withdrawing his hand. It came back scarlet. </p><p>The water was still running from the tap, harder than he’d have normally wanted it. Dean held his hand underneath it, letting the stream run red. When he looked back at his palm, there was a long gash there and it hurt like hell.</p><p>Dean was sitting in the small room next to the kitchen, on the floor. There was an enormous pile of utensils next to him. Utensils that fed hundreds and hundreds of kids. He could be buried all of four times in that pile, he thought dejectedly.</p><p>At the rate he was going, Dean would probably be here all night long and the whole day tomorrow. Usually the dishes were done by 7 or 8 kids, in rotation. Having to do it all by himself was crazy. He’d already been at it for hours now and was weary, tired and sleepy.</p><p>He sighed, picking up the offending knife and staring at it intently. “Do your worst,” he mumbled.</p><p>“Don’t you worry about that!”</p><p>Dean turned to see Gary, Zachariah and Raphael standing at the corner, all leering down at him. Two more boys followed from behind.</p><p>Dean stood up unsteadily, not because he was scared, but because the slippery water that flowed at his feet had soaked through the four layers covering him. His clothes, heavy with the weight of water, made it hard to move, but he’d be damned if he gave in without a fight.</p><p>He had suspected it all along, had waited for these thugs to inevitably come to him. As it was, they had been waiting for an opportunity to get back to him after that first night. He could see them eyeing him when he passed by them in the corridor at school, their expressions malicious and evil.</p><p>One last guy came in and shut the door behind him. At least, this time Dean could see their faces.</p><p>The old grandfather clock by Andy’s office chimed in the distance. It was 12. Dean rolled up the sleeves of his drenched jacket, bracing his legs just the right way. He wasn’t going down alone.</p><hr/><p>Cas was frantic, pacing up and down in the tiny space between the two sets of bunk beds. Gabriel was still up, lazily going through the pages of a skin magazine- which was of course barred in the campus. Occasionally he would look up from the magazine, follow Cas’ trajectory and then go back to the pictures, both amused and unconcerned at the same time. Benny was quiet, as usual, but Cas could feel his eyes following him.</p><p>“Sit down, will you?” Gabe said finally. “You’re giving me second hand anxiety here.” His drowsy voice was in direct contrast to the actual awful anxiety building up within Cas. </p><p>“I can’t! Dean’s in trouble. I know it. Those idiots won’t let him be. They’ll beat the crap out of him. Jesus!” His voice rose up an octave with each word. He knew it in his heart that Dean having to stay back so late and everyone else being put off the washing duty couldn’t have been a mere coincidence. </p><p>He had to do something!</p><p>Desperately, he turned to his roommate. “Gabe! Help me! You have something on each of them, you could get Dean out of trouble.”</p><p>Gabe flicked through another page of the magazine. “Now why would I ever wanna do that?”</p><p>“Because of the goodness of your heart?” Cas tried, pointlessly.</p><p>Gabriel tossed the magazine aside, then looked Cas straight in the eye. “I’m doing no such thing.”</p><p>“You did it last time,” Cas argued, inches away from Gabe, now. “You got him out of the mess that first day.”</p><p>“I didn’t get <em>him</em> out,” Gabe leaned in, all mirth gone from his expression and Cas was reminded that if Gabriel wanted to be the bad guy, he could <em>really</em> be the bad guy. “I got <em>you</em> out, Castiel. That kid is nothing to me.”</p><p>With that he flicked off the light of his lamp, and slid down on his bed.</p><p>“At least tell me how you got out of the locked corridor?” Cas asked through gritted teeth.</p><p>Gabriel made an elaborate snoring noise. His way of saying ‘get lost.’</p><p>Cas let out a frustrated cry and sank onto his bed, his pulse out of rhythm.</p><p>“There’s a door at the end of the fourth floor that leads to the left wing. It’s the only one that’s not boarded up.” The gravelly voice came from the bunk above Gabe’s, and if it hadn’t been for the distinct confidence, Cas might have assumed that his mind had made it up.</p><p>Gabe gave up his snoring pretense, too, surprised by what he had just heard.</p><p>The gratitude was overwhelming, but Cas managed a strangled thank you and rushed out of the room. </p><p>His footsteps echoed through the dusty, dark corridor till he reached the very end. Then came to a dead-end. The grill. How was he going to get across the grill of the fourth floor?</p><p>“Dean? Dean, is that you?” A soft voice called, startling Cas. The voice sounded unsure, as if he even recognised Dean’s footsteps and knew that this wasn’t him.</p><p>“No,” he said. “I’m Cas. It’s Will, isn’t it?</p><p>There was a sudden movement. “How do you know? Did… did Dean tell you?” There was a note of betrayal in his voice, a hint of accusation, even though Cas wasn’t sure at whom it was aimed.</p><p>“No… no,” he said urgently, not wanting to mess this up for Dean. “That’s not it. I mean Dean did tell me, but that’s only because I caught him sneaking out every night.”</p><p>“So let me get this straight. You’re spying on Dean?”</p><p>Cas’s impatience and worry was making everything he said come out wrong.</p><p>“Look, I don’t know how much Dean’s told you, but I’m his friend. My name’s Cas- Castiel.”</p><p>There was a pause. “I’ve heard of you.”</p><p>Cas huffed out a breath.</p><p>“So I’m not in trouble, right?” Will asked, still unsure.</p><p>“You’re not. But Dean is.”</p><p>The dark figure one the other side jerked up, jumping into sudden action. “What’s wrong with Dean?”</p><p>Cas quickly explained as much as he could, and while he was talking, it became abundantly clear that Will knew quite a lot about Dean’s life. He didn’t question why those idiots would try to specifically go out of their way to target Dean like that. He just seemed to understand.</p><p>“I have to somehow get there,” Cas said. He knew that he appeared to be dancing on the spot from all the nervous energy, but Will had already stooped down and was fiddling with the lock of the shutter.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Cas asked, widening his eyes to get a better look.</p><p>Will didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to. For, a minute later, the quiet click of the lock popping open was enough of an answer.</p><p>“Quick, I think they might have left the door to the left wing open after all,” Will whispered.</p><p>“You could crack the lock all this time and you never did it?”  Cas asked, appalled.</p><p>“Where was I gonna get to?” Will shot back. “There’s kids downstairs and you sadists up here.”</p><p>Fair point.</p><p>Cas bent down and yanked the grill. Thankfully, it rolled up smoothly without making too much noise. When he straightened up on the other side, Will was standing much, much closer to him. In the pale light filtering from the window overhead, Cas could make out the straight, long hair that almost fell to his chin, framing his face. The edges of his hair seemed silver in the moonlight. </p><p>Will was lanky. Thin but oddly athletic from the way he was holding himself, despite the loose shirt hanging from his shoulders. In fact, all his clothes seemed two sizes too large for him. It was still too dark to make out his face, but he seemed pale.</p><p>“What are you waiting for?” Will urged. “We gotta go.”</p><p>Cas jerked. “We’ aren’t doing anything, together. I’m going and you’re staying here.”</p><p>Will’s entire posture changed. All the wariness from the set of his shoulders vanished and his spine straightened up, chin set. “I’m coming with,” he said, and Cas noticed the odd sharpness to his otherwise soft voice. “I have to help Dean.”</p><p>There was an odd desperation in his voice, and strength that made it abundantly clear that he was going to follow Cas, whether or not Cas wanted it. That there wasn’t even a question about helping Dean. It was a given.</p><p>Cas suddenly felt a rush of warmth for this strange kid. He really did care for Dean. All his inhibitions about Dean trusting Will vanished. </p><p>“Who says you won’t be helping Dean by staying up here?”</p><p>Will cocked his head. “What?”</p><p>Cas smirked. “I have a plan.”</p><hr/><p>Dean huffed, face against the floor, tasting blood in his mouth. He grinned.</p><p>Even though he was sprawled on the wet ground, water all around him with a foot firmly planted against his back, Gary was lying a few feet away, too, groaning.</p><p>And Dean was sure he’d at least managed to get Zachariah in the gut, shin and face. The crack that his nose had made was satisfying. It had probably added years to Dean’s life. Angered like the great bull, Zachariah had finally managed to aim a good swipe and then Raphael and the fourth boy had crowded on Dean. Even then, he hadn’t gone down easily. He was sure that both of those were going to be nursing bruises tomorrow.</p><p>A swift kick landed at his side, getting him in the side of his stomach. </p><p>“That should teach you better than to mess with us,” Raphael said. He was Michael’s mouthpiece, Dean realised. The one who did all the dirty work.</p><p>“The only thing I’ve learnt is that it must be a sweet little thing… you know… being Michael’s pitbull.”</p><p>Raphael snarled and the kicked harder in Dean’s back and he had to bite back a scream.</p><p>“Bastard!” Raphael spat.</p><p>“You see, at least, I know for sure that I’m not one… you on the other hand…”</p><p>There was a threatening growl from over his head and Dean braced himself for one more hit, but it never came, instead there was a hurried scuffling and Dean felt rather than saw Raphael move back.</p><p>“Castiel?” Gary exclaimed, surprised.</p><p>“Let Dean go!” Cas said, not loudly, but firmly.</p><p>This was starting to be a theme, Dean thought. Each time he was being thrashed by Michael’s goons, Cas turned up. But this time, Michael wasn’t around to save Cas. That became evident the moment Gary’s swung his fist  and it made perfect contact with Cas’s jaw. Cas hurtled past Raphael and hit his head against the wall, slumping down.</p><p>“No!” Dean yelled. He braced himself in a sitting position, and glared at the standing figures with bleary eyes. “Come at me, assholes, leave him out of it.”</p><p>“He asked for it,” Gary smirked.</p><p>“Michael won’t be pleased,” Dean added. His ribs were hurting and his back felt like someone had rammed an iron block into it. He couldn’t stand up yet to fight for Cas, so he had to make the best of what he had. If using Michael’s name was it then that had to do.</p><p>Raphael grinned. “Michael isn’t here, and what he won’t know, won’t make him mad.” He turned to look at Cas. “You won’t be a little snitch and tell him, now, will you, Cassie?”</p><p>To Dean’s relief, Cas groaned and opened his eyes. Despite the hurt being evident in his features, he looked coldly at Raphael. “Maybe I won’t have to tell Michael.”</p><p>The smirk slid from Raphael’s face, “What do you mean?”</p><p>Unexpectedly, in a move that was beyond reckless, with three huge boys staring down at him, Cas grinned. “Wait for it,” he said, then looked straight at Dean and winked. </p><p>For a minute nothing happened, as all the boys waited with bated breath.</p><p>Zachariah, who had been standing in the corner all this while, growled impatiently. He advanced towards Dean with a hand outstretched, “All right you little pieces of shi-”</p><p>Loud, shrill alarms suddenly pierced through the quiet of the night, and Zachariah jerked back. Red light flooded through the room, the entrances vibrating with the sound. Both Gary and Raphael fumbled backwards as few screams and then more sounded along with the continuously blaring alarm.</p><p>“Fire…” Raphael breathed, then turned one venomous glare at Cas and hissed, “Castiel… What did you do?”</p><p>Cas shrugged, still ginning, “You have about five minutes before all the locks are opened, and the kids come barreling down into the grounds. And everyone finds out what you’ve been up to… Andy finds out what you’re doing.”</p><p>Fear, true fear flashed across Raphael’s eyes. “This isn’t the end of it, you son of a bitch,” he spat at Dean, then started towards the door.</p><p>On his way out he glared down at Cas. “You picked your side, Castiel, now be ready to face what’s coming.” With that he disappeared, the parade of goons following.</p><p>Dean was still sitting on the wet floor, shocked. What had just happened? Was there really a fire?</p><p>“Dean!” He felt a tugging at the side of his drenched jacket. It was Cas, looking down at him in urgency and an odd triumph. “We gotta get out of here.”</p><p>“Is there… fire?” Dean could feel his voice shaking. All life seemed to go out of his legs. </p><p>Cas’ blue eyes twinkled in the odd light. “Yes, there’s fire, but it’s nothing to worry about. C’mon!”</p><p>Cas helped Dean to his feet, and unsteadily dragged him out of the room into the corridor. Dean’s legs ached from the thrashing and his body felt like it had been worked upon by a sledgehammer. </p><p>There were noises everywhere, hundreds of feet rushing in one direction.</p><p>“This way,” Cas lead, coaxing Dean into the direction of the voice and holding him by the shoulders. Belatedly, Dean realised that was blood on Cas’s jaw, and the corner of his mouth. He wanted to ask if Cas was okay, but strangely, his voice had left him. </p><p>Somehow they made it into the front yard which was already full of kids in pyjamas, panicked. There was chaos everywhere. The smaller kids from the lower floors had come down quickly, and were crying, screaming from fear. But there still weren’t nearly enough of them. The upper levels were locked, someone had to get there to release the kids.</p><p>There were still kids up there!</p><p>
  <em>“Take your brother outside as fast as you can and don’t look back! Now, Dean, go!”</em>
</p><p>“Cas- I… I need to help…” Despite his words, Dean’s legs gave out completely and he slid to the ground. </p><p>Cas bent down to Dean’s level, then pulled him upright. “You don’t need to help anyone because no one’s in danger. Trust me.” His blue eyes, dark in the night were still somehow clear.</p><p>And Dean did… he did trust Cas, so he let his friend pull him away from all the confusion as a fresh batch of kids came spilling out of the doors.</p><p>When they were a safe distance away, Cas eased and let Dean on the ground. “Are you alright?” He asked worried.</p><p>Dean didn’t want to tell Cas that if he looked like he was about to faint, it had nothing to do with the thrashing. He was about to wave the worry off with some loose comment when his vision was diverted to the 4th story window from which smoke was erupting.</p><p>“What happened?” Dean asked.</p><p>Again, Cas grinned, then looked down at Dean with glee. “Your friend Will is a genius.”</p><p>“He set the place on fire?” Dean’s eyes widened and he stood up despite the screaming pain in his legs.</p><p>“Not really,” Cas said, his lips still quirked up. “He said something about incomplete combustion causing a lot of smoke and stripped wires lying in the corridor.”</p><p>When Dean’s appalled expression didn’t change, Cas gave him a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry, he is smart, he knew what he was doing.” Then, Cas suddenly gave a sheepish expression. “The whole deal was sort of my idea. Gabriel’s little stunt the other day inspired me.”</p><p>Dean didn’t know what to say. The smoke that was now pouring out of the open windows of not just the fourth floor but also the floor below and bellowing into the open air, was making his eyes water. However, that wasn’t what was making his throat tight. Cas had just made enemies out of people who were basically the closest thing he had to a family for Dean. And that little kid, whose face Dean didn’t even know had gone out of the way to do God knows what to set the alarms blaring… for him! If anyone ever found out what Will had done…</p><p>He turned to Cas, thinking of words that would convey the gratitude he felt, when Andy rushed out of the building, carrying what seemed like the last of the children.</p><p>Hundreds of kids were huddled down, looking at the smoke stained dark sky. Some crying, some clutching on to the little blankets. Dean looked at all the faces, the red noses, the tear stained eyes, as tiny hands found one another… and in all those faces he tried to look for the one that mattered. And with a jolt in his stomach Dean realised that the unknown face he was so hopelessly searching for wasn’t Sam’s. It was Will’s.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t do this!” Cas said for what felt like the hundredth time in an anguished voice.</p><p>For the hundredth time, Dean ignored, shrugging on a jacket and wincing all the same.</p><p>“What do you have to prove by going in?” Cas asked, a hint of anger clear in his voice now.</p><p>Dean turned and smiled at his friend, hiding the wince at the pain in his shoulders. His body was screaming with it, muscles rebelling against any movement. Dean suspected the thrashing of the night before might have ended up in at least one cracked bone in his rib cage. At least.</p><p>“I have nothing to prove,” he said, “But I ain’t sticking around here alone all day.”</p><p>He could technically take the day off, roll around in bed all day, but Dean didn’t know how last night was going to affect everyone. After all the smoke, there had been chaos and screaming, and after an hour of bated breath wait, blaring fire trucks. It was all too much; the light, the sounds… especially for the little kids. Dean felt bad about it. After all, the whole thing had been staged for him, so he could get away from Michael’s goons. The thought both made his stomach lurch, and his heart light.</p><p>
  <em>Will. </em>
</p><p>That kid had done something. And whatever it was, it had saved Dean and Cas. The warmth he felt in his heart was settling in when Cas huffed.</p><p>“You’re a stubborn piece of work,” Cas said, but extended his hand nevertheless. “Come, let me help you with the stairs.”</p><p>Dean grinned. He knew he was forgiven, at least for now. </p><p>Cas was patient, letting Dean take his time with them. Dean, meanwhile observed Cas. The right side of his face was swollen and busted, and he had a black eye. Despite having arrived at the scene quite late, Cas looked pretty bad, too.</p><p>“You didn’t have to come looking for me yesterday,” Dean said quietly.</p><p>Cas gave him a disbelieving look. “How can you even say that?”</p><p>“They’re like your family. Michael’s like your older brother, isn’t he?”</p><p>“That doesn’t make him immune to being a jerk,” Cas said as a matter of fact. He looked at Dean intently. “And isn’t that what friends do? Help each other.”</p><p>Just like that Dean’s argument went out of the window. Cas smiled knowingly.</p><p>Dean swallowed through a thick throat, silently letting Cas help him through the rest of the way to school.</p><p>It was sad how easy it was to recognise the kids from the orphanage in the campus. They made up a good percentage of the population, and today, they were all tired and sleepy and restless. Staying up till 4 in the morning would do that to anybody, and these were just kids. It had been the early hours of morning when the SWOT team, after assessing the condition, had let the kids in after declaring that the building had, in fact, never been set on fire. While climbing up the stairs then, Dean had noticed a very harassed Andy answering questions from the fire officers. Dean would be lying if he said that it hadn’t given him satisfaction to see Andy in a tight spot like that. It’s what he deserved for locking up kids like that. Words like ‘escape plan’ and ‘enquiry’ had been thrown around. Dean had grinned to himself.</p><p>The day was slower than usual, and that was saying something. Cas had already fallen asleep twice. Once in Literature and once in their history class. Dean didn’t blame him. Learning about war indemnity in America for the 40th time was enough to put anyone to sleep even on their best day, let alone after a sleepless night full of thrashing. So, it was with sluggish feet that they made their way towards the canteen in the break.</p><p>Dean passed Gary in the hall, and with immense satisfaction noted the band aids across his nose and cheek. A muscle twitched in Gary’s jaw as he took in Dean’s smug expression.</p><p>“Cut it!” Cas said under his breath and Dean looked away. </p><p>They fell into a line in front of the counter and instinctively Dean glanced around the room, as he had done everyday since he’d walked into this school. For a kid about 11 years of age, someone who looked like him…. For Sam. Instead, his gaze landed at the far end of the canteen, where one hunched over person cut a solitary figure. Benny.</p><p>Dean could never make out how he really looked. Whether he was thin or buffed up, what color his eyes were, or even the exact color of his skin. He always seemed so elusive, that it was hard to grasp a clear image. The multiple layers of clothes and the low slung cap made him into a mysterious wannabe Sherlock Holmes. The sort who’d sell drugs under the bleachers and never get caught.</p><p>Dean caught hold of Cas’s sleeve and tugged, “What’s the deal with this Benny dude?”</p><p>Cas looked straight ahead, purposely avoiding Dean’s eye. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean, there’s something up with him. Don’t try to deny it,” Dean warned, before Cas could open his mouth. “I know you know something.”</p><p>Cas sighed. Under all the bruises, he looked tired. Not just in the obvious way, like he hadn’t slept much the night before… which he hadn’t. But like he had been fighting against something for a long time and that it was finally getting to him. Dean felt a spike of empathy. It can’t be easy questioning all your loyalties, seeing your family in a bad light. Cas was fighting a battle with himself, Dean realised. He wanted to put his arms around his friend.</p><p>Presently, Cas simply sighed once more. “It’s hard, Dean.”</p><p>With a jolt Dean realised that Cas wasn’t talking about himself but about Benny.</p><p>“It’s not been easy for him,” Cas said. “He was friendly enough once. In fact, he had a really close friend, Diego, who was transferred. Those two were attached at the hip. Kinda like-”</p><p>“- like you and me?” Dean smirked.</p><p>Cas smiled, one tired tug of his lips, but it touched his eyes. “Since Diego, he’s not been the same.” He frowned.</p><p>Dean mirrored his friend’s expression, wondering whether Cas was thinking the same thing. <em>Transferred.</em></p><p>They finished the rest of their lunch in silence, though neither was any good at it. Cas was peeling his badgel absentmindedly and Dean could barely open his mouth, much less chew thanks to the swollen lips and bruised jaw. </p><p>“You think we might be able to bail on Spanish and sneak back?” Dean asked as they dragged their feet across the cafeteria after dumping the almost full trays.</p><p>“And then what? Go back to Andy’s scrutinising gaze? Especially after last night?” Cas asked. </p><p>Dean was about to reply that at least lying face down in a bed might mean he wasn’t dragging his aching body all over the place, when a crashing sound made him stop in his tracks. </p><p>They were walking along an open corridor between the cafeteria and the main building, which ran along the side of a patch of ground fenced on the other side. Along the chain linked fence were a few long benches, which Dean assumed was for when the crowd in the cafeteria spilled over. The crash had been made by flingin one of the tables across the patch on the fence. The long wooden table lay lopsided along the fence, with one leg splintered and next to it, a huge boy was standing with a wide stance. He was dressed in an overly large striped T-shirt and shorts. It was hard to tell what color his hair was because of the dirty blue caps, but his neck was definitely red. He seemed to be shaking with anger.</p><p>“Hey, what’s the deal with him, Ca-” But before he could complete the sentence, he noticed a small mousy boy with brown hair cowering in the shadows of the huge boy, shivering against the broken side of the upturned table.</p><p>“How dare you eat it?” Thundered the big guy, and the kid folded himself further, his eyes and tiny nose red were watering. The round glasses resting against his nose were sliding down.</p><p>“But D- Dirk, it was m-my sandwich,” he sniffed.</p><p>Dirk bellowed, and the kid cowered further, closing his eyes and crying out, raising his hands to cover his face. </p><p>Without thinking, Dean moved forward. A crowd had gathered to witness what was happening and it was making it hard to get to the boy. Dean’s aching ribs, and bruised body was protesting at the contact with other bodies, but he still trudged on.</p><p>“Dean. Dean, wait!” Cas’s voice trailed from behind, but Dean wasn’t going to just stand there.</p><p>On the ground, still quite away from Dean, Dirk yelled and raised his hand. Seeing this, Dean doubled his struggle to get through the crowd, wincing when someone’s arm or elbow hit a sore spot. But clearly it was too late as Dirk’s hand sailed down in an arc. Dean braced for the kid’s scream, but it didn’t come. </p><p>Instead, another loud bellow echoed in the opening. Dean pushed the guy in front of him almost roughly to reach the front line. The scene that met his eyes was almost unbelievable.</p><p>The bespectacled little kid was still crying on the ground, and Dirk’s strike had been blocked midblow. A boy was standing in between them, facing Dirk, gripping his arm. “Leave Barry alone, Dirk,” he said in a calm, restrained voice, spitting out the last word. Chills ran up Dean’s arm.</p><p>The boy was about 11 or 12 years of age; tall and lanky… almost to the point of skinny. He had long brown hair that fell into his warm brown eyes. Eyes that seemed to be blazing.</p><p>“Move aside, you pest.” Dirk shoved the boy, and because of the sheer force of Dirk’s mass, he was flung to the side next to Barry. </p><p>“No,” Dean whispered, starting to move again, but the boy moved expertly, anticipating Dirk’s next slam and slid from underneath, even though his knee hit the side of the table, as he parried. Dirk hissed completely ignoring Barry and roaring at his new target. Dean watched as the boy quickly dodged all of Dirk’s attempts at kicks, although he was still scrambling on the ground. He was quick and sure footed as he got up. When Dirk charged, the boy ducked low and swiped his foot across the ground, knocking Dirk down on his ass.</p><p>A cheer went up from the onlooking crowd as the boy turned and helped a still crying Barry on his feet. He spoke something to Barry that Dean couldn’t quite hear what.</p><p>Barry let out another dry sob and then flung his arms around the boys thin shoulders, who placed a hand on Barry’s back. </p><p>In all the noise, Dirk was getting up, red faced and angrier than ever. He fisted his hand and aimed a punch, but this time Dean was right there. He reached for Dirk’s arm and yanked him back with all the strength he could muster. Then pushed him aside.</p><p>“Don’t ever attack from behind the back,” Dean spat, “You coward!”</p><p>Dirk, who couldn’t have been more than 13, paled. He threw another furious look towards the two boys and hurried away from the onlooking crowd.</p><p>Dean turned to look at the two of them. Barry seemed to have quieted a little, the other boy was staring at Dean intently. Up close, Dean could see that his hair wasn’t the usual dank brown, but it had a sheen to it, just slightly reddish. And his eyes; up close, his eyes weren’t just a soft brown, there were flecks of dark green and sea blue.</p><p>He wore a dark green hoodie, much too large for him. Even the sleeves ended so further below that he had had to fold it over twice so his fingers were visible and the seam of the shoulders fell down to his upper arm. The jeans he wore were grey, now mud splattered from having fallen down. In fact, his lip was split and there was an evident scratch on his cheekbone which was getting bloodier every passing second.</p><p>“Thanks,” said the boy, his voice melodious and quiet, and Dean felt a jolt of familiarity. </p><p>Acting on an instinct, Dean asked, “Why did you do it? That idiot is twice your size!”</p><p>“Barry is my friend,” said the boy. “Besides, I hate bullies.”</p><p>A memory from long ago came to Dean, same words, spoken in the same voice in the thick of the night from across a rusted grill.</p><p>“Will?” Dean asked, his eyes widening.</p><p>A slow grin spread across the boy’s face, his hazel eyes lighting up. “Dean!” he said, “Dean, is that really you?” </p><p>As recognition came in, the smile slid, the wonder in Will’s eyes dimming as the anger returned, “What did they do to your face?”</p><p>“Hush,” Dean whispered, looking around, then ushered Will away from the crowd, Barry following in his wake.</p><p>Noticing, Will stopped around the corner of the building, under the awning. “Dean, this is Barry. Barry,” he turned to the boy, “This is Dean. He’s from the orphanage, too.”</p><p>“Thank you,” said Barry, through dry heaves.</p><p>“Dean!” It was Cas, coming up from behind. “Where did you disappear?”</p><p>“Cas?” Will asked, the smile back in his voice. “It’s Will!”</p><p>Cas looked from Will to Dean and back again. “Weren’t you just on the ground getting your ass kicked?”</p><p>“Oh no,” said Will genially. “I was doing the ass kicking.” </p><p>After another round of introductions that left Barry thoroughly confused, Will whispered some words of assurance and sent Barry to the classrooms. The moment he rounded the corner, Will’s sharp gaze was back to assessing the outwardly damage done to Dean and Cas.</p><p>“I was late, wasn’t I?” Will groaned in despair. “I should have set that alarm off sooner. Look at you guys!” He sounded absolutely miserable. </p><p>And despite everything, it made Dean smile. He shared a look with Cas who was gazing down at Will kindly, then said. “You did more than we could have asked of you.” Dean clasped a hand on Will’s shoulder. “Thank you. You might have saved us from getting punctured for life.”</p><p>“I still wanna punch Gary in the face though,” Will muttered petulantly and Dean laughed.</p><p>“C’mere,” he said, beckoning to Will, “Let me look at your face, you got a split lip there and there’s a cut on your cheek there.” Dean gestured.</p><p>“Won’t be the first time.”</p><p>“I know you hate bullies, but you can’t charge into every fight Han Solo style,” Dean said, taking a look at Will’s bloodied chin. “Chicks stop digging the scar face look after a while.”</p><p>Will smirked. “You talk like you’ve had a lot of chicks dump you for the same reason.”</p><p>Dean laughed. “C’mon smartass, let’s head back. I think between the three of us, we’re busted up enough to make up a bull story and ditch the rest of the day.”</p><p>The school nurse was surprisingly kind. She’d heard about the ‘fire’ at the orphanage and her grey eyes were round with worry as she fretted over them all. Dean got most of her attention, since he looked in the worse shape.</p><p>“Tsk tsk tsk,” she clucked her tongue in disapproval as she dabbed a yellow tincture over Dean’s black eye. “I shouldn’t be saying anything, but the way they treat you boys up there.” she pursed her lips.</p><p>“Look at how your face is swollen,” she said, the corners of her mouth pulling down.</p><p>Dean was grateful. It was obvious that he’d been beaten up a while ago and not in school that day. A recent bruise wouldn’t look that black. But she bandaged him all the same. If it had been Dean’s earlier school, such abuse would have warranted counsellors, child services and police complaints. But no one really cared for orphans, did they? He felt sickened at the possibility of Sam having been beat up like this with no one care or look after him.</p><p>“There you go, sweetie,” she said briskly patting Dean’s arm. “You,” she gestured to Cas, next worst in line. “You’re next.”</p><p>Cas moved forward reluctantly, taking Dean’s place on the chair and Dean shuffled over to Will who was standing awkwardly in the corner. Blood from the scratch on his cheek bone had dripped down on the fabric of his hoodie.</p><p>The nurse was fussing over Cas, busy muttering more angry words. She didn’t pay attention as Dean grabbed a piece of the antiseptic soaked cotton and dabbed it over Will’s cheek. He winced, startled. And as he jerked back, the long fringes of his hair fell into his eyes.</p><p>“Ouch! What’d you do that for?”</p><p>“So you don’t get an infection out of it, dumbass.” </p><p>“It burns,” Will muttered, touching his face.</p><p>Dean smiled. Will, who had tripped the fire system of the whole building yesterday; Will, who had thoughtlessly jumped to his friend’s defence was mad about an antiseptic burn. </p><p>He didn’t say anything, though. Rather, he beckoned Will forward, “Here. let me help you with a bandaid at least. It’s not deep, so that should do.”</p><p>Will went on, and let Dean help him. There was something about the boy’s face Dean thought. Something so inherently familiar that his chest ached. With tenderness and longing. A needy want, but want of what, he didn’t know.</p><p>“There you go, you’re all fixed now,” Dean said. </p><p>Will stared, an odd expression on his face. His eyes darted from Dean’s hand bloodied with his blood, to Dean’s face.</p><p>Dean jerked his chin, a questioning look in his eyes, as if to ask what he was thinking, but Will simply shook his head, then turned away.</p><p>It was beyond easy to slip out of school. The nurse had been more than forthcoming and had given them the permission without batting an eye. God bless her soul, Dean thought. It did, admittedly, take a long time to walk even with both Cas and Will supporting his weight. At least they had some prescribed painkillers with them that would let him support his own weight once they kicked in. There was so much Dean wanted to ask Will. About how he had achieved what he had achieved the night before, about that jerk who was beating up Barry, even about the freaking Olympiad, but his lungs couldn’t produce sound as he walked. Most of his effort just went into putting one feet in front of another.</p><p>At long last, they reached the gates of the orphanage. Dean withdrew his arm from over Will’s shoulder. Cas adjusted his stance, bracing for more weight, but Dean stood upright, withdrawing all support.</p><p>“Will…” he started through a thick throat, suddenly recalling the panic from the night before, when standing right here in the front lawn, his eyes had been racking to crowd to find the unknown face of this very boy. A face that wasn’t unknown anymore. </p><p>Will raised his hand, palm facing Dean, then smiled. “Save it; whatever you’re gonna say. Cause if you’re gonna thank me, don’t.”</p><p>“But…” Dean started to say again, and he could see Cas nodding in vehement agreement on the side.</p><p>“Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same for me,” Will challenged. “And then you can thank me all you want.”</p><p>For once Dean was speechless. Will grinned conspiratorially, first at Dean and then at Cas. “I’ll see guys at dinner. Better check on what Barry is up to,” he said before running up the stairs. At the last minute, at the top, he turned and winked at them, then ducked inside. </p><p>“That kid is something else,” Cas whistled. Dean said nothing. He just grabbed on to Cas’s hand moving forward, still rankled by Will’s words. </p><p>
  <em>Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same for me.</em>
</p><p>But more than Will’s challenge, his own thoughts rankled him. He would have gone ahead and beyond to help, to protect this strange, brave boy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Sometimes I think that some of these kids dye their hair,” Will muttered, kicking a stone out of the way. “There can’t possibly be that many brown haired boys.”</p><p>“You have brown hair,” Cas pointed out mildly, feeling sympathetic towards the boy.</p><p>“But my name isn’t Sam!” Will exhaled, attacking another stone. </p><p>The two of them were walking back from school. Dean had waited back for some extra class, and on the way out Cas had bumped into Will, who had been in a dark, brooding mood. Only now did he know that it was because of an abundance of dark haired boys.</p><p>“I feel like I’m disappointing Dean,” Will admitted. “But I swear there isn’t another Sam on the floor, unless some kid is hiding his real name for whatever reason. The only other thing Dean gave me to go by, was that Sam has brown hair. But that is most boys.” His voice was full of despair. </p><p>“You’re being harsh on yourself, Will,” Cas soothed, placing a hand on Will’s shoulder. “There isn’t much to go on here and Dean knows that. He isn’t going to be disappointed.”</p><p>“I had to do this one thing, and I’m wretched at it,” Will moaned, seemingly not having accepted a word of what Cas had said. </p><p><em>He is used to always having a solution</em>, Cas thought. Will attempted math Olympiads for fun. He was smart enough to fuse out the fire alarm system. He was the sort of boy who was used to getting solutions for his problems, answers for mysteries, and now that he couldn’t figure this one out, it was bothering him. But there was also one other thing. Will was probably used to being self sufficient. He had always made his own bed and clapped his own back. Now, there was Dean.</p><p>Cas realised, Will looked upto Dean. The way he hung on to Dean’s every word like it was a gospel. How he glowed when Dean lightly made fun of him, teased him or even called him a dumb-ass. Behind Will’s disappointment was his inherent desire for praise, and not any praise, but Dean’s praise.</p><p>Cas felt a deep pang in his stomach, a swell of empathy. He had seen so many kids yearn for attention, for a drop of love in this place where everyone was lonely together. Will was no different. He’d never had anyone to appreciate his intellect. Lots of parents would have sold their souls for a prodigal child like Will. But here he was looking for acceptance from a boy who was looking for something else, <em>someone else.</em></p><p>With a heavy heart, he said, “We’ll keep looking, Will. We’ll find Sam.”</p><p>The boy looked up, hazel eyes round, the question in them clear as the day. <em>Who is Sam?</em> But he didn’t ask. Maybe something about Cas’s expression made it clear that he wouldn’t answer. It wasn’t his secret to tell anyway. Besides, he had no business dragging a kid into this. Especially a kid residing on the 4th floor. Cas shuddered.</p><p>Will cast another look, but didn’t talk for the rest of the way back.</p><p>*****************************</p><p>“Damn it!” Dean cursed as he stumbled over a rough patch of land. It had been three days since the fire alarm incidence and he could only barely manage to walk by himself. Of course today had to be the day when the calculus teacher extended the class. Ordinarily, Dean would have ditched in favor of having a steady support in Cas to walk back, but he paid attention in calculus. After all, he had promised to help Will out with it. So much for that crazy kid’s expedition to champion math! Which was why Dean took meticulous notes and for that, he had to wait back.</p><p>Apart from having to stumble all the way back, Dean didn’t really mind walking alone. Cas had been hovering over protectively over Dean at all times, worrying that if he was left alone, Michael’s goons might ambush him and finish what they started that night. As it turned out, Cas needn’t have worried at all. All his fears had been put to rest when the Principal had called Dean and Cas and asked about their bruises. Apparently, the nurse had made a formal request to the principal to look into the matter. Dean hadn’t given names, but the word got out and the said gang of goons started skirting him. It had still taken a quarter hours reassurance to get Cas to leave without him. </p><p>Now his legs ached, his lungs screamed in protest. <em>I’m experiencing old age at fifteen</em>, Dean thought wryly as he pushed the gate of bell stone open. He heard the voices before the scene around the corner met his eyes.</p><p>A woman’s voice was echoing in the yard, high and poignant and authoritative. The familiarity and hope of just seeing someone he knew had Dean running despite the pain shooting up his foot. He wasn’t wrong. </p><p>There she was standing tall and thin, with short brown hair, and the sheriffs uniform crisply cutting a formidable figure before him. Even though her back was to him, Dean knew it was her.</p><p><em>Jody</em>.</p><p>He started rushing towards her, then abruptly stopped, the realisation hitting him like a block of ice. No one knew that he knew Jody. He couldn’t just barge in like that and blow his cover and their plan. The sight of her induced such homesickness, Dean staggered to the tree next to him, falling back against it for support. He felt like his legs might give out anytime. </p><p>Even if he did meet her, what was he going to tell her? He’d made no progress when it came to the Stynes. Jody had put all her trust in him, risked arguments with authoritative people to get him in and he had nothing for her. He had no clue about where all the kids were disappearing off to. Shame and guilt flared up inside him and he lowered himself on the ground, disappearing completely from her line of vision.</p><p>He had <em>disappointed</em> her. </p><p>“Officer,” someone cleared his throat. Dean recognised Andy. He sounded uncomfortable and scared. “It wasn’t really my fault, you see.”</p><p>“Not your fault?” Jody thundered. “Locking up kids like that on floors? And don’t you lie to me, I saw the grills myself.”</p><p>“They’re old, rusted and just there, doesn’t mean we use them,” Andy stuttered. He was much taller than Jody, but right now she seemed to tower over him.</p><p>“Do you take me for an idiot? I rolled one of those down, and for iron so rusted, it sure slid down smoothly.”</p><p>Despite the reeling shame, Dean wanted to whoop out loud. Jody was one of the smartest people he knew, and badass. Andy was in for it.</p><p>“We searched the whole place thoroughly, and those kids live in horrible conditions,” she said. “This place is a living hazard. You call it a boys <em>home?</em>” And what of the left wing?” she pressed, disgusted.</p><p>Dean dared to raise his head above the shrubbery just a little bit to peer into the opening. Jody was standing along with two other police officers, all of them in uniform. Andy was just a few feet away, visibly displaced, and Garth was hovering in the background, for apparently no other reason than to provide staff support to Andy. Garth seemed disinterested in the exchange and was fiddling with the dials on his walkman.</p><p>“The left wing is not in my jurisdiction. It’s always locked up. It doesn’t belong to the orphanage.” Andy’s voice was reedy.</p><p>Jody put her hands on her hips. “Really?” There was a dangerous edge to her tone. “And you don’t have the keys.”</p><p>“No,” Andy lied through his teeth. That asshole. </p><p>If Dean had had any reservations about whether or not Andy knew what was up in this place, they were shattered right then and there. He was in this with the Stynes.</p><p>Jody turned to the police officer next to her. “Alright, Andrew, we’re breaking in.”</p><p>“Do you have a warrant to search the place?” Andy questioned. Dean swore under his breath. This man actually had the audacity to act superior. Dean tried to raise his head further to get a better view, to see the expression on Jody’s face. His foot slipped and fell back on the ground with a crash.</p><p>“Who’s there?” Andy said sharply.</p><p><em>“Shit!”</em> </p><p>“Get up,” Jody ordered, and Dean, after muttering a few more choice words, staggered to his feet and raised his hands. “It’s me.”</p><p>Andy’s face turned red, the suppressed anger making its appearance. “Winchester!” he bellowed, “What the f-… <em>hell</em> are you doing there?”</p><p>“I-I fell down,” he said hurriedly. “Was coming back from school.”</p><p>“From behind the bush?” It was Jody. “Higgs, what’s this boy doing here?”</p><p>Dean noted with detachment that he’d actually never known what Andy’s last name was. He avoided meeting Jody’s gaze.</p><p>“Look up!” Jody ordered, and Dean did so; slowly.</p><p>It was there for a split second, but Dean saw it in her brown eyes as they widened. A complex emotion; a mixture of relief, tenderness, pain… and then horror… anger.</p><p>“Higgs.” Jody’s voice was low, but it was so full of anger, loathing, that Dean backpedalled. “What the hell,” she said, seething, “happened to his face?”</p><p>Andy looked at Dean properly for the first time and paled. The angry red patches on his cheeks disappeared quickly. “I-I don’t know,” he said, running a hand across his face nervously. “You know how they get sometimes. Boys will be boys.”</p><p>But Jody was having none of Andy’s shit. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face to her level. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t drag your ass back to the station for allowing child abuse.” She looked dangerous, and Dean truly understood why everyone with ill-intent back home ran in the opposite direction when they saw her car. </p><p>Dean knew she couldn’t actually haul Andy to the station. This wasn’t her area of jurisdiction. This was just part of her case. And even if she could get the local PD to do this, it threatened their whole operation. Sniffing police interference, the Stynes might completely move their base. Children would keep disappearing and Dean would lose his only chance of finding Sam.</p><p>Andy stammered a mumbled explanation as Jody pushed him roughly. Dean didn’t hear a word of what Andy was saying, for Jody had turned to look at him, and Dean braced himself for the disappointment in them. Not only had he failed her so far in the operation, he’d managed to get his ass kicked spectacularly, too. In fact, his bruises were better now, light purple to yellow in some parts and the swelling almost gone in others. </p><p>When Dean looked up, Jody had squared her shoulders to face only him. Her eyes were blazing, though not with dismay or any hint of let down. There was only regret and pain there and so much worry that Dean felt he would drown in it. </p><p>He was reeling. Suddenly he was standing in the front space of Bobby’s house, Jody looking down at him not with anger but worry when he’d first rigged a car. The day when he’d caught Bobby and her sitting on the porch steps and how hastily she had withdrawn her hand from Bobby’s when she’d seen Dean walk towards. He remembered the sun light squinting off the wooden table and how she had been nervously running her fingers along the edge of the table when Bobby told him they were seeing each other. Jody who was never nervous, only scary, had cared about what Dean, who wasn’t even Bobby’s son, had to say about their relationship. </p><p>Dean remembered all the times she had driven by early so she could drop Dean off at school when Bobby was out of town. he had hated being driven around in the sheriff’s car. It was like announcing <em>‘don’t be friends with me, I know the sheriff.’</em> He’d barely ever spoken a word to her then. Suddenly there had been casseroles on holidays and real food on the table on Sunday mornings, instead of whatever mix Bobby put on the table in his hungover state.</p><p>All the sneaking around, whispers that were quieted too quickly so it wouldn’t make Dean awkward. The hope in her eyes when he sipped the coffee that she had made on mornings that she’d stayed over. She would almost always get it wrong by adding sugar, when Dean liked his black. Only now, after he had lived in this hell hole, did he realise the sort of luxury he’d had. He was no different from all the boys living in the orphanage. His parents were as dead and cold in their graves as the others’. But unlike them, he’d always had a room of his own, no worry where his next meal came from. He’d had gruff ‘good mornings’ from Bobby and shenanigans in his garage. And unexpectedly, softness from a woman who made her living by being firm.</p><p>Tears burned at the back of Dean’s throat and he blinked rapidly, still unable to take his eyes off of hers. Of course there would be no disappointment in those eyes… only care and… love. Jody’s eyes shone with unshed tears of her own, and he could see her desperately trying to get a grip. </p><p>“I got punched at school,” Dean said through a thick throat. “It wasn’t anybody’s fault.” He fervently hoped that behind his words, she heard what he truly wanted to say. <em>It wasn’t your fault, Jody. None of this is. Please don’t pull me out of here. For the both of us.</em></p><p>She had wanted this one win in that male dominated department where she was better by ten times than any idiot. And he wanted… no, he needed to find Sam. He stared intently back at her, willing her to understand. At long last, she nodded. A quick jerk of her chin.</p><p>“Alright,” she said hoarsely. Dean hoped that the others interpreted it as anger. “Get going then. Next time I hear of you breaking into fights, I’ll admit you to a juvie myself. You get that?”</p><p>Dean nodded.</p><p>“Off you go,” she ordered in what was supposed to be a stern voice. Then, she very deliberately raised her hand, as if to shoo him off, and pointed it to the side of the orphanage. Even though the main door was right in front. Something glinted off her finger as it caught the Sun, and Dean caught his breath. It was a thin gold band, plain but solid, resting on the second finger.</p><p>He had to bite his lips so as to not betray a reaction.</p><p>She widened her eyes. <em>GO.</em></p><p>Dean turned on his heel and headed towards the side she had pointed towards, completely bypassing the main door. In the distance he could hear Jody ordering Andy and the others off towards the left wing, even if just for the heck of it. Leading them away, he realised, away from him.</p><p>He increased his pace and turned around the corner. Dean rarely visited this part of the ground. Mostly because there was an old barnhouse there that totally creeped him out. Once upon a time, when the orphanage hadn’t actually been an orphanage but a handsome, inhabited manor, the barhouse used to house actual animals- poultry, horses and pigs. Now it was just as dilapidated as the manor house if not more. The timber girders were sagging under the dead load of the disrupted roof. The planks that made up the walls had been eaten into by termites, and cobwebs adorned the facade extensively. Of course it gave Dean the creepers. Of course he’d never even been slightly tempted to go in. But as he inspected the barren building, he noticed, to his surprise, that the door was ajar.</p><p>Dean knew the barn-house was used as a storage for things so old that even the Orphanage didn’t want it inside, which was saying something. Dean and Cas often joked that the only use it would be would be if they used it as kindling and set it on fire. At least one night wouldn’t be so cold anymore. The trepidation he felt as he stepped inside the threshold now, was very real. </p><p>Inside, everything was at least five times dustier than what he thought it would be. And so much darker. Silhouetted against the broken furniture and wardrobes was a man. He was wearing plaid underneath a thick flannel jacket and a baseball cap. Scruffy beard covered his face. A face with all too many frown lines, but laugh lines around his eyes. A face that was more familiar to Dean than any other.</p><p>Before he knew it, Dean was bounding forwards till his face was pressed against the soft cotton of the man’s shirt.</p><p>“Bobby!” Dean let out a strangled dry sob. </p><p>It was too much. The weeks and weeks of living in this hell house, the constant fear for Sam, of not finding Sam, all came crashing down. Then there was that other feeling, one that almost made him feel ashamed. If Dean didn’t know better, he’d say it was a feeling of… belonging. But how could he belong to this place? He hated every brick of the orphanage. A place that caged children. His Sam… Cas and Will. Maybe the belonging wasn’t with the place… but with the people.</p><p>“Hush,” Bobby said gruffly, patting Dean’s shoulder. Dean noticed that his voice was thicker than usual. Bobby cleared his throat. “It’s alright, my boy.”</p><p>Dean didn’t want to let go of Bobby. Not just because he had missed Bobby terribly, but because he’d never actually ever hugged Bobby like this. He didn’t know what to expect when he pulled back. </p><p>When he did, there was only fierceness in Bobby’s eyes. Fierceness and fear. Not unlike Dean’s own fear for his brother and friends. A disjointed part of his mind wondered if love and fear were always this connected. And how it had taken him a trip to this goddamn place to feel both of those emotions so viscerally.</p><p>Bobby was still looking down at him, his lashes were wet. Dean had to look away.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Dean asked.</p><p>Bobby shrugged. “I heard about the fire from Jody. I-I was worried.” he hesitated, then added. “I needed to know that you were fine. I know you’re… well, you’re scared of fire.”</p><p>Dean had never said it, but Bobby was there in the early days when Dean even flinched from the stove fire. </p><p>That still didn’t answer the question.</p><p>“I mean, what’re you doing <em>here?</em>” Dean gestured to the out house.</p><p>Bobby cleared his throat once more. “Sneaked in. Had to see you. I had to beg with Jody so I could tag along. Her only condition- no one could see me.”</p><p>“Jody!” Dean suddenly remembered, then threw a finger towards Bobby. “You’re getting married?”</p><p>Bobby shuffled from one foot to another, almost looking nervous. “Yeah. I had that ring made for a while now, since before you left. And I meant to ask you before asking her… but she found it in the back pocket of my pants and well, the damn cat was out of the bag.”</p><p>Dean stared. </p><p>Romantic proposal was one thing. He hadn’t really expected Bobby to put on fairy lights around the house and fill the front yard with rose petals, but the proposal could have been more than her accidentally stumbling upon the ring. Dean wanted to shake his head indulgently at Bobby’s complete and utter lack of romantic timing. Maybe Jody liked that sort of spontaneous thing. Who knew? </p><p>There was something in Bobby’s words that stopped Dean from acting upon his amusement.</p><p>“You said you wanted to <em>ask me?</em>” Dean asked flatly.</p><p>Bobby looked even more nervous if that was possible. “It is your home, Dean. I wanted to ask you if it was alright with you.” He looked at Dean with a worried expression.</p><p>This time Dean really did shake his head. “Bobby, you crazy old man,” Dean laughed. “Of course I’m happy for you. Jody is a badass.”</p><p>Bobby’s eyes softened, and his shoulders relaxed. “She wanted you to know, too. Said it didn’t count as engagement if you weren’t in on it.”</p><p>The tears had just subsided, but Dean’s throat burned with them again. </p><p>“Bobby,” he said, his voice rough. “You getting married to Jody would be the best damn thing to happen to our home.”</p><p>Bobby beamed. His whole face lit up, and for a second Dean could almost feel the homely warmth of Bobby’s kitchen in the cold, dusty barnhouse. Then Bobby’s smile slid.</p><p>“What’re you doing here, kid?” Bobby asked, his face screwing up in his classic frown. He always tried to look annoyed when he was feeling something, Dean remembered fondly. “Come home. The place feels just like an empty car dump without you annoying my gourd,” he said pointing to his head.</p><p>Dean wanted to smile at Bobby’s attempt to lighten the tone, though it didn’t take a keen eye to see the wetness of his lashes, hear the gruffness of his voice.</p><p>“Sam…” Dean started.</p><p>“Sam’s… Sam’s a ghost story, Dean!” Bobby almost gasped, as if he’d tried too hard to not say those words, but they had escaped him anyway. Dean’s heart seemed to crack just a bit. He could see that Bobby loved him. Like his own son. But for Bobby, Sam was still his friend’s son, who was lost. He had no connection to Sam whatsoever. </p><p>All these years, through hot grizzly afternoons and through cold shivery winter nights, that blood bond was what had kept Dean awake, picturing horrors that might have been happening to his brother who was still out there somewhere. Who knew? Maybe waiting for his older brother. Dean had held on to it, steadfast, never giving up. But somewhere through the years, Bobby had.</p><p>Dean didn’t begrudge Bobby the non-attachment, but if only he understood that finding Sam was the purpose of life for Dean, especially now that there was a ray of hope, now that he was so close to discovering the truth.</p><p>Perhaps Bobby understood too well, because he put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Shouldn’t have said that,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. I just worry about you.” His eyes roved over Dean’s face. “Look at all of his,” he gestured vaguely at the bruises. </p><p>“It’s nothing, Bobby,”</p><p>“Exactly!” Bobby pointed out. “It could get so much worse.” But something about Dean’s look made Bobby’s shoulders slump. It was clear that Dean wasn’t going to give up on this.</p><p>With a resigned gesture of his arms, Bobby turned around and produced a wooden box from behind. The box wasn’t ornate but, the rosewood exterior had a pristine quality to it, as if the box had been in existence since a long, long time.</p><p>“Here.” Bobby’s voice was heavy, and his eyes had that look… the one that made him look older than he was. “Take it.”</p><p>“What is it?” Dean asked, running his fingers over the rough exterior of the dark wood. </p><p>Bobby didn’t answer, and Dean clicked the lock on it. The lid opened easily enough. Inside was a collection of mismatched things. There was a small knife, a little charm bracelet, a figurine of a peaceful looking baby angel and among other things a bundle of photos. Images after images of his family… of faces that he was afraid he was beginning to forget. Photographs from his parents’ wedding, in front of their lawn, from his childhood, dad hugging mom in front of a sleek black car.</p><p>“Your dad loved that thing,” Bobby murmured, but Dean barely paid attention. He was hungrily flipping through the bundle, his hands shaking. At the very end, there were pictures of a small baby, clicked in a series. Small chubby hands held out, rosy cheeks, light brown hair and a laugh that seemed to reach out of the picture itself. </p><p>Dean didn’t know whether to simply keep looking at the picture- because at this point his eyes were simply devouring it- or shut the box, just so he could control his feelings, get a grip on his wildly failing heart.</p><p>“Where?” he stammered, shutting the box as the later instinct won. “Where did you find these?” Even to his own ears, Dean’s voice sounded strangled.</p><p>“I’ve always had them,” Bobby said, then gauging Dean’s outrage quickly added, “I wanted you to move on, Dean. When you first came to live with me, you didn’t talk for half a year. It was like living with a shadow. I didn’t want you to get lost in the past and never resurface from whatever goddamned dark depth you had fallen into. And then when you started talking, and it looked like you were finally going to get a childhood, I didn’t want you to lose yourself in a false hope.”</p><p>“So you never gave these to me?” Dean glared. He could feel the blood rising to his face, his fingers balling into fists.</p><p>Bobby squared his shoulders. “Damn right I never gave you those. And I won’t feel sorry for hoping that you’d give up on the crazy mission to find Sam. You were just a kid, Dean. You still are, and from what I knew, I truly believed Sam was lost.” His voice cracked.</p><p>Just like that Dean felt all the anger leave him, his body deflating. Suddenly he felt tired, bone weary. His legs gave out from under him and he collapsed onto a dusty trunk. What was the point of being mad? It was not like Bobby had kept his childhood from him. Dean still had his mother’s picture by the side of his bed. His dad’s first sawed off and baseball glove on the wall. He’d always had mementos to remember his parents by. The only things new were Sam’s pictures. And what was even the point in blaming Bobby. All he wanted was to help Dean. Besides, Bobby had left no stone unturned in his time to find Sam.</p><p>“Why are you giving this to me now?” Dean asked, head bent low, all energy simply draining out of him.</p><p>Bobby lowered himself to Dean’s level, hand back on his shoulders, “Because now it might actually help you.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t help himself. He flung his arms around Bobby once more. This was more hugging than maybe all of their time together, but Dean simply didn’t care. “I can’t wait to be back,” he admitted, his voice muffled against Bobby’s shoulder.</p><p>Bobby chuckled dryly. “Can’t wait to have you back either, kid.”</p><p>After a moment he let go, patting Dean’s back in quick succession. “You still remember about the pager, right?”</p><p>Dean nodded, now slightly awkward. “I’ll send out a flare if there is ever an emergency.” Secretly Dean knew he wasn’t going to do it until he found Sam because that would mean an immediate rescue and permanent goodbye to this place.</p><p>Bobby gave him one more hard look, then nodded and walked out of the barnhouse. Goodbyes weren’t really his thing.</p><p>Dean knew that they couldn’t have left together, too much risk, so he waited for a few minutes, then slipped out, too, the box clutched tightly in his hands. He felt both lighthearted and also awfully homesick at the same time. So lost was he in his own feelings that he never noticed the shadow move from the side of the barnhouse where it had been lodged for a while now, and come face to face with him.</p><p>Dean ran headfirst into the wall of black, then staggered backwards.</p><p>“Benny!” he said, surprised as he looked into the shadowed face.</p><p>Benny’s face looked impassive, his eyes however were narrowed. <b></b>“That police woman looked like she wanted to smother you in hugs.Your old man looks pretty solid and caring and <em>alive</em>. Care to tell me who is this <em>Sam</em> you’re looking for, Winchester?”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean stood there stunned, as if someone had slapped the sense out of him.</p><p>“Don’t try to deny it,” Benny warned, his expression wary and almost threatening. “You’re not an orphan, so what the hell are you even doing here?”</p><p>“I-I <em>am</em> an orphan,” Dean said, surprised that his voice sounded steady when his insides were in a twist.</p><p>This was it. This was as far as Dean would go. Any moment now, Benny would go running to Andy and spill his guts about what he’d heard and there was nothing Dean could do about it.</p><p>Benny was still looking down at him with blatant distrust, hands crossed over his chest, waiting for an answer.</p><p>Maybe he saw the raw panic in Dean’s eyes, or realised that Dean was paralysed and wouldn’t answer because Benny eventually sighed and dropped his hands.</p><p>“Look,” he said, raising his chin slightly so Dean could see his eyes clearly under the hood of his cap. They were a startling dark blue. “I am not going to rat you out. I knew there was something up with you since the day you walked into our room.”</p><p>“H-How?” Dean asked, mostly to keep Benny talking. He wasn’t surprised that Benny had noticed all the unusual stuff.</p><p>“You disappear into the night, every night. You look like you have an agenda,” Benny shrugged. “I’ve spent most of my life in an orphanage, I know homelessness when I see it. You’ve never looked homeless. And then there’s that pager in your bag.”</p><p>Dean scowled. “You went through my stuff? You <em>spied</em> on me?”</p><p>“Like you aren’t spying on this place, yourself,” Benny shot back. “I knew you were sneaky. Finding out all I could about you was self preservation instinct.”</p><p>This was the most that Dean had ever heard Benny talk. His voice had a roughness that sounded out of place for a teenager and over that there was an odd graveness.</p><p>“I’ve had my reservations about you, especially since you and Castiel have gotten so close,” Benny paused, and Dean realised that all this while Benny had also been curious for Cas’s sake. Cas was a frigging saint when it came to looking out for people and it was natural to take a liking to him, to want to keep him out of harm’s way. It was why Gaberiel- who never bothered about anyone but himself- had gone out of his way to help Cas on that night of Dean’s initiation. Apparently, Benny wasn’t immune to Cas’s weird power over people. He had been worried about Cas getting mixed up with a bad person.</p><p>“Now, are you going to tell me what’s up?” Benny asked impatiently. “You’re involved with the police somehow so I can guess where this is going. Spill, Winchester!”</p><p>Dean started talking, his eyes trained on the second button of Benny’s coat. He talked and talked and talked till his throat felt dry, about his past, Bobby, Jody and… the Stynes. At that Benny drew in a sharp breath.</p><p>“What about the Stynes?” He asked.</p><p>Dean knew a bit about Benny’s past. How he used to be a friendly boy before his best friend was shifted, or to put it more correctly, before his best friend <em>disappeared</em>. This was why Dean had been completely honest with his story.</p><p>“We think that the Stynes are involved in child trafficking. That all these kids who suddenly get transferred or whatever, are being shipped off to God knows where and forced into begging rackets or maybe even prostitution.” Dean had never said the last part out loud. It disgusted him to his core, scared him that he might be actually right. And the last thing he wanted was to be right on that count.</p><p>Under his cap, Benny had gone completely white. His hands clenched and unclenched. Then, he looked hard at Dean and said, “You really think that’s the case, too, then? That whatever is happening here is not normal?”</p><p>“Look around!” Dean gestured, so relieved that Benny wasn’t going to turn him in, that his voice sounded exasperated. “Does any of this horse crap feel normal to you? Of course something is wrong!”</p><p>On an impulse Dean added, “But I am not doing this completely out of the goodness of my heart either. I have my own interest.”</p><p>Benny raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“My brother,” Dean said, “The one I told you about, who I was separated from…” Dean paused, checking his voice. Why was it always so hard to talk about Sam? He’d had years to accept the truth, then why was this still so hard? Would it always be like this?</p><p>Dean cleared his throat, then said, “I have reason to believe that he’s actually here. Jody figured that I could continue looking for my brother as long as I found real dirt on the Stynes. Two birds with one stone. I know you must think I’m selfish,” Dean added, “To do this just for my brother, but-”</p><p>“I get it,” Benny said, “If I could, I would do it all to get Jaime back.”</p><p>“Jaime?” Dean asked but he had an inkling of who he might actually be.</p><p>Benny’s eyes were far away as he said, “My buddy. They took him, too.” Then, he looked right at Dean. “Look, if you’re really going to find out what’s happening around here, then I want in. I’ve been here for a long time, not as long as others, but I’ve been suspicious for a longer time than most of these buffoons.”</p><p>Benny put a hand in his over large coat and drew out a bunch of keys. “This is the master key set,” he said. “I’ve had this for a while now; stole it off Garth once when he was distracted. It opens most of the doors in this place. I’m not sure Garth even tries going into the west wing, but if you’re gonna go scouting the place, this might be of help.”</p><p>Dean frowned. This was too good to be true. “If you’ve had the master key all this while, why didn’t you try to sneak out and use it yourself?”</p><p>“Use it and do what?” Benny hissed, “I see the look you’re giving me, Winchester, but I didn’t have the Police backing me. I shouted till my throat was sore when they took Jaime. But no one listened. Not a single soul came out to help me. And the punishment I got for it… Oh, the punishment.” Benny moved up the sleeve of his arm to show welts on the back of his wrist. They looked like thin vertical burn marks.</p><p>Dean’s eyes went wide.</p><p>“His name was Jacob. Jacob Styne. Didn’t even blink as he put the rod to my skin,” Benny murmured.</p><p>Dean suddenly felt too cold under his clothes. This was terrible. The Stynes were monsters… And Andy was a sick son of a bitch. He was supposed to be in-charge, he was supposed to protect the kids. Instead he just watched and let this happen. Dean wanted to punch him where it would hurt seven shades of Sunday. And boy, did he wanna put the Stynes behind the bars for they did. To Jaime and countless others.</p><p>“Why didn’t you run?” Dean asked, eyes cast down and away from Benny now.</p><p>“We don’t all have a father of sorts waiting for us,” Benny said, but not unkindly. “It was either this or another round of foster homes. Known evil is better than the unknown one, I suppose.” He jingled the keys in the space before them</p><p>Dean nodded, grabbed the masterkey and then limped back towards the dorms after Benny disappeared out back.</p><p>“Dean!” Cas exhaled, jumping out of his top bunk. “What took so long? I was worried about you.”</p><p>Cas looked harried. His black hair was plastered to the side of his face with sweat and the backs of his thumbs had nail marks in them. Cas did that when he was anxious.</p><p>“And you look… weird,” Cas said, giving Dean a once over. “Have you been crying?”</p><p>Yes he had been crying, but he wasn’t gonna admit to that. Instead, he pulled Cas outside and towards the far end of the corridor, away from the crowded area, then told him everything. From seeing Jody to Bobby and finally Benny.</p><p>“Whoa!” Cas looked dazed. “This means we don’t have to wait for Andy to sneak out to his weird dates. We can go to the record room whenever we want. We can have access to all those files.”</p><p>“Tonight,” Dean nodded, “After the lights out, we sneak into the west wing.”</p><hr/><p>Dean lay on his side, facing the wall that night. Waiting for the time to be right. Over him, Cas was very still in his bed, which was how Dean knew he was up, too. Usually Cas tossed and turned quite a lot and the old rickety frame of their twin bed shook with him. It was past 11 when Gabriel came to bed. He rolled over and fell asleep immediately. Dean gave it 15 more minutes, then quietly stepped out of bed, Cas following in a few seconds. Dean nodded to Benny on his way out. Whether or not Benny wanted anything to do with Dean’s epic nightly adventures, he was unfortunately at least a silent accomplice and audience now.</p><p>As sneakily as they could, he and Cas  made their way towards the end of the corridor and the west wing door.</p><p>“Okay, here goes,” Dean huffed and inserted the most promising key into the lock. Did not work.</p><p>“Damn it!” he swore, then tired another one.</p><p>“Dean, I hear footsteps,” said Cas, edging closer. “Hurry.”</p><p>The third key clicked and Dean pushed the door open. He and Cas slipped inside and pushed the door shut, hoping against hope that the clang wasn’t a give away. They waited with their ears pressed against the cold metal till the faint footsteps faded and Cas breathed out in relief.</p><p>“I thought we were done for,” he said.</p><p>“Not yet,” Dean replied grimly, peering ahead of them.</p><p>The west wing was darker than it was possible to imagine and it smelled strongly of rust, damp salt… and like something had died and rotted here for ages.</p><p>Behind him, Cas gagged.</p><p>They moved cautiously in the general direction of where the staircase would be, reaching out with their hands, trying to feel the space around them.</p><p>There was a distant muted thud from ahead.</p><p>“Did you hear that?” Dean whispered.</p><p>“Hear what?”</p><p>“The noise… from the corridor ahead!” he said.</p><p>“There can’t be,” replied Cas. “This side is abandoned, remember?”</p><p>But Dean was almost sure he’d heard something from up ahead, like metal being scraped against something. However, Cas was right. Maybe it was Dean’s head getting creative in the dark.</p><p>“Here’s the staircase!” Cas exclaimed. “Right here.”</p><p>Dean was going to point out that there was no ‘right here’ in this doomed dead hellscape, but he let it go and followed Cas down the spiraling steps, all the way to the ground floor. The dim lights from the front driveway made it easier to find the way to the eastern side here, and within minutes they found themselves in the record room, the door safely shut behind them.</p><p>“We did it!” Cas grinned. Dean was about to fist bump him to celebrate the small victory when the shadow at the far end of the room moved and Will came into view.</p><p>“Will! What are you doing here?” Dean hissed, outraged. What in the name of holy mother!</p><p>Will gave no expression. “I could ask you the same,” he retaliated.</p><p>“God damn it, kid!”</p><p>“Hey don’t go swearing on me like you’re on some high horse here, okay?” Will pointed a finger at Dean. “You broke the rule, just like me, so stop acting all prissy.”</p><p>Dean was flummoxed. “How did you even get down here?”</p><p>“You two chuckleheads might have forgotten the incident of great fire, but I got you down here,” Will said angrily, pointing at Cas. “By picking the locks.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>“And now,” he said, “You, Dean, are going to tell me exactly what’s going on. Don’t make some bullshit reason or excuse because I’ll know. I’m not <em>stupid</em>. You two act like you’re planning to overthrow a government with all your secret talk and you have me looking for some Sam, and never bothered to explain why!”</p><p>Boy, he really was angry, Dean thought to himself.</p><p>“Listen, Will…” Dean tried, “What we are doing here… it’s dangerous. <em>Really </em>dangerous. You don’t want to get involved in this.”</p><p>“The hell I don’t want to involve myself with this,” Will shot back. “I’ve been going out of my head trying to find your Sam for you. I don’t even know who he is. I almost committed arson for you, so don’t you <em>‘listen, Will…’</em> me, Dean. I deserve to know.”</p><p>Dean was taken aback with Will’s outburst. He didn’t know the boy was so invested, but he had to agree we Will.</p><p>He sighed. “You’re right, Will. You deserve the truth.”</p><p>It was like a recap of the morning, having to go through with the story again, but Dean did it just the same. Only, while Benny’s face had been impassive throughout, Will’s expression broke at the mention of the fire and how Sam was taken away. His hazel eyes looked watery and his brow furrowed with each word, to the point where Dean had to look away to be able to continue the story.</p><p>“So your brother, he’s here?” Will asked in a strangled voice.</p><p>“That’s right,” Dean said. “And Cas here has been helping me with the records, trying to find Sam’s file. Ain’t that right, Cas?”</p><p>Cas who had been standing silent all this while nodded his head, and Dean noticed him furtively rubbing his eyes against his sleeve. Dean’s heart gave a lurch.</p><p>“Alright,” he said hurriedly, trying to spare both Cas and Will the moment, “If you want to jump on to this train, pick a rack and start pulling out files.”</p><p>Will nodded vehemently, but the look in his eyes still had Dean’s stomach in a knot. It was tender and just so innocent. That kid deserved the world, and it sucked that he had grown up in a hell hole like this.</p><p>Cas had taken up a rack and was pointing to Will, showing him which of the shelves they had completed looking into. Will was as attentive as ever and quickly dove into the files. Dean watched them work. Cas squinting into the racks, the Torch they had left here last time balanced between his shoulder and neck, while Will flipped through the papers at an inhuman speed, his brown hair falling into his eyes.</p><p>Cas finally yawned, hours into the search “Hey check this out, I found Michael’s file!”</p><p>Will scooted closer to Cas, peered over his elbow and read out loud. “It says he was found on the steps of the orphanage when he was about 3 weeks old. That’s horrible.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t fathom where Will got all his empathy from. He had been in the orphanage since as long as he could remember. Maybe his story was something like this, too. Dean was lucky in this regard, in the sense that he knew that his parents had loved him, and not left him on the steps like this.</p><p>“Well, that’s the 5th Angel-names Orphanage kid we’ve found,” Cas sighed.</p><p>Will laughed. “You know I always thought it was hilarious the names you guys got. I mean you got lucky, Cas. But the kids who got stuck with Balthazar and Uriel? I don’t envy them.”</p><p>“Yeah, right, <em>William.</em>” Cas made a face, but he did purse his lips like he was trying not to laugh.</p><p>“Don’t you think, Dean?” Will asked, looking up with his wide eyes. “Dean… Dean, are you okay?”</p><p>Dean had gone still. “How old does it say the others were when they got into that Angel-names Orphanage?” Dean asked, barely controlling his voice.</p><p>“It says that Raphael was 3 months old, Uriel was 8 months and Michael-”</p><p>“No… no no no no…” Dean chanted slowly getting up. “This can’t be happening. Fuck!”</p><p>“What happened?” Cas asked</p><p>But Dean was already backing into the wall, his heart sinking and spirits breaking. “Sam,” he whispered, breath leaving his lungs. “Sam was only 6 months. What if… what if they changed his name when they took him in?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a hot afternoon. Everything that moved and breathed in the boys home was either sweating or stinking or both. The game room especially was oozing of unnecessary enthusiasm over dumb games. Cas wanted to ask the ten year olds playing throw-ball in front of him to shut up.</p><p>He didn’t do it though, because deep down he knew that it wasn’t the kids he was mad at. If it had been any ordinary day on a Sunday afternoon, he would be right here with Dean going rounds at table tennis. He’d be as breathless and sweaty as everyone else. Instead, he was holed up in a corner here, giving a stink eye to people for no fault of theirs. No, he wasn’t mad at them. He was mad at Dean… and then feeling guilty about feeling that way.</p><p>Dean deserved the time off. Afterall he had found out that by looking at the records, he might never find his brother, because the name might have been changed. Cas had tried to console him that maybe they should still continue looking at the files. What if the name hadn’t been changed? Maybe Sam’s file- labelled as Sam- was still out there somewhere. But even Cas knew that was half hearted, because if there really had been a Sam, Will would have found him. They weren’t just looking for a needle in a stack of needles now. They were looking for a goddamn particle.</p><p>It had been a whole week since that night and Dean had refused to talk to anyone. It didn’t help that the school was shut for spring break. This way he wasn’t obligated to spend the classes with Cas. During the first couple of days, Dean had resorted to lying in bed and not speaking with anyone. Afterwards, he’d just disappear in the morning after breakfast to some corner of the estate and then return directly late at night, avoiding Cas at all times.</p><p>At first, Cas gave him his space, disheartened himself about the possibility of never finding Sam, but after a week of this, Dean’s behaviour was starting to get on his nerves. </p><p>“Cas?”</p><p>The quiet and now familiar voice made Cas look up. Will was standing before him, eyes trained down, shuffling from toe to toe.</p><p>“Will!”</p><p>A small surge of pity went through Cas at the site of the boy. Despite Dean’s aloofness, Will hadn’t given up on the search. He was still on a lookout for Sam, he still picked the locks to look in the record room whenever he could. And in all of this, he was the only one who understood how hurt Cas was feeling.</p><p>“How’s Dean doing?” Will asked, still looking down.</p><p>“The same,” Cas replied. “Refuses to see anyone.”</p><p>“Hmmm…” Will nodded to himself. He looked like his head was someplace else. And his eyes were unfocused, not in the way that his head was a million miles away. They looked blank.</p><p>“Will, are you okay?” Cas asked cautiously. “You look… off….”</p><p>Will didn’t answer immediately. “Hhhuh?” He stuttered, head jerking up for the first time.</p><p>“I asked if you were okay,” Cas repeated patiently. A strange feeling was creeping up in his stomach, like a premonition of something bad.</p><p>“I-I’m okay,” Will said in a monotone. “I cleared the Olympiad.”</p><p>“Will, this is great news!” Cas burst out, his lips stretching into a smile. “You’re such a smart kid!”</p><p>Will said nothing. He was looking out of the window now, and Cas vehemently tried to suppress the icky feeling in his gut. </p><p>Finally, Will turned to meet Cas’ eyes for the first time with some solidity to expression and tone. “If you get hold of Dean, tell him I want… no, tell him I <em>need</em> to talk to him.” </p><p>“Okay,” Cas agreed quickly, hoping Will would say something more.</p><p>But Will was already walking away. “I’m gonna go now,” he said. “I have to find Barry.”</p><p>Cas sighed and slumped back. Poor Will, he thought. That kid had been trying to catch hold of Dean for a while now. He’d gone from worried to eager to this. However, behind Will’s odd blankness, Cas could feel a brewing desperation… the sort that came with fear. Will was scared of something, and as far as Cas could tell, it seemed to be something entirely new. It has scared Will enough to want to seek out the boy he looked up to… to seek out Dean.</p>
<hr/><p>Dean was sitting by the window of his empty dorm room, turning an apple over and over in his hand. He had sneaked it out at breakfast. Even though he had skipped lunch and was feeling the hunger pangs, he didn’t really want to eat anything.</p><p>Afternoons were the best to be holed up in the dorm sometimes. It was always empty then, his other three inmates involved in something or the other. It made sulking alone easier.</p><p>There was a slight shuffle and Dean could see Benny slide into his top bunk in his peripheral vision. Dean ignored him; and with how quiet Benny was, it was easy to pretend he wasn’t even there. That was until Benny spoke.</p><p>“Should have known you didn’t have it in you.”</p><p>Dean’s head turned like a whip. “What did you say?”</p><p>Benny snorted, looking into a book he had somehow managed to open in the short span. “I said,” he repeated, “I should have known you were a wimp. That you couldn’t do jack squat when it came to exposing the Stynes.”</p><p>Anger welled up inside Dean, as sudden as a volcano. “How dare you judge me when you don’t know shit!”</p><p>Benny remained unmoved, and his voice remained calm when he said, “Oh, I know enough. I know you had the epic realisation that your brother’s name might be changed on the papers. So what?”</p><p>“So what?” Dean growed. Was this guy evening listening to himself? Sam’s name was the only lead Dean had. Nothing else. Finding Sam was his goal, his only hope. What did Benny know of his hopelessness?</p><p>“I have lost every chance of finding my brother now,” Dean said slowly, his voice seething. “You have no clue how that feels.”</p><p>Benny looked down at him in disdain. “How much do you remember of this so-called brother of yours, Winchester? His hair color, his smile? You must barely even remember holding him, do you? And I? I knew Jaime for years. We grew up together, shared every scratch and every smile. When I was sick with pneumonia as a kid, he was there with me, staying up all night. He was more than a blood brother to me. So don’t you tell me I don’t know how it feels. And I did more to find Jaime than what you’re doing. I didn’t give up at the first obstacle and shut myself in a room, throwing a tantrum like a baby.”</p><p>“That’s enough!” said a sharp voice.</p><p>Dean turned to see Cas standing at the door, his finger clutching the edge of the door tightly. Tight enough that his knuckles were white.</p><p>“That’s enough, Benny!” Cas warned. “You don’t need to be this harsh with him!”</p><p>“Harsh?” Benny scoffed. “He’s a domestic kid, raised in a home, Castiel! He doesn’t know harsh. You know what’s harsh? What is happening to those poor bastards getting kidnapped out there. Sold, hurt… God knows what even happens to them! Your friend here has all the resources he needs to expose these fiends for what they are, and here he is acting like a wuss when one thing goes against his mighty plan.”</p><p>“Benny…” Cas looked thunderstruck, and Dean had gone completely white, his hands shaking at his sides.</p><p>Benny looked at Dean. “I really thought you were what this place needed. You’re smart and focused, and I thought you had the courage. But turns out you’re just too damn self-centered and selfish. Look around you, Winchester, the world is so much bigger than you and your long-lost brother. And honestly, you are not even helping that poor kid by giving up so easily-”</p><p>“Benny, SHUT UP!” Cas thundered. “Don’t say another word. Who the hell do you think you are going up against Dean like this? He isn’t at your beck and call to do as you please! Just because you couldn’t save Jaime, doesn’t mean it’s Dean’s job to save the world. Besides, he’s just a kid. Like you and me and Jaime. One word gets out about him being the police’s spy, they’d bury him and his records so underground that no one would even find his existence. Police support be damned.”</p><p>Cas took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “Jody is just one cop who suspects that something is amiss. Not even her whole department trusts her and the Stynes are powerful people. Besides, Dean has a juvenile record. How hard would it be to frame a runway case against him and then they’d make him disappear just like Jaime. Is that what you want? For him to keep going at it recklessly and then go missing forever?”</p><p>“I- “Benny’s eyes widened. All of his calm was gone, replaced by shock and horror.</p><p>“He’s not your pawn, Benny,” Cas said, sounding tired. “You can’t push all your anger and disappointment on him.”</p><p>“Cas,” Dean said, finally. His legs felt weak, and his heart felt heavy with shame. “Benny’s not wrong. I have been-”</p><p>The door sprang open and Gabriel came in. Looking around, he stopped at the sudden forced silence.</p><p>“Phew,” he whistled, plopping down on his bed. “Y’all look like you saw a ghost.”</p><p>He wasn’t wrong, Benny looked appalled and Cas looked vexed. As for Dean, he didn’t know what his face showed, but inside he felt so small and contrite he didn’t know how to face anyone. He had been so self absorbed the past week, fuming and wallowing in self pity, he had actually overlooked how it was affecting others.</p><p>“C’mon chaps,” Gabriel smirked, “What were you talking about?You don’t want to keep it from your best buddy here!” He winked.</p><p>Cas stepped forward. “You know what, Gabriel? You can shut it. This is none of your business and it shouldn’t concern you!”</p><p>Dean squinted at his friend. He had never seen Cas this mad. He was usually the most level headed person in the room, but today he was having none of it, and the way Cas had stood up for Dean made him feel even smaller.</p><p>“Whoa!” Gabe sat up. “What’s got your knickers in a twist, Cassy?”</p><p>“Let me think,” Cas said, eyes steely blue. “It might be the fact that you’re  a selfish jackass who thinks only of himself.”</p><p>All traces of humour vanished from Gabriel’s face, and his eyes took on a dangerous look that screamed <em>not to mess with him</em>. “Be careful there, little bro. I know you three have been up to something… and you don’t wanna get on my bad side.”</p><p>Cas’s eyes narrowed further. “Actually that is rather hard, considering we don’t even know which side you’re on. There is only one side with you, Gabe. Your own. If you actually wanted people to trust you with things, you better decide where your loyalties lie.”</p><p>Gabriel pursed his lips, expression full of anger. For a second Dean thought he was going to reach out and hit Cas. But the moment passed and Gabriel hurtled out of the room like a whirlwind.</p><p>“Guess there isn’t much left for me to say anymore, is there?” Cas asked bitterly, then went out of the room himself.</p><p>Dean could only imagine how Cas must be feeling. He was a gentle soul. Having said so many grating words must have hurt him as much as it hurt the others. Gabriel was his brother and Benny his friend. Cas had still gone out of his way to take Dean’s side against his own people. That too when Dean had been a jerk to Cas, himself.</p><p>He spared Benny- who still looked out of his element- a brief glance then followed Cas out of the dorm room himself.</p><p>Cas stood at the far end of the corridor, staring out of the window into the sunset. </p><p>“What do you want, Dean?” he asked, still sounding tired, but his tone was sharp. Not his usual kind voice.</p><p>“I-I wanted to say sorry,” Dean said. “I know I’ve been an idiot and a jerk to you all of the past week. Drawing into myself like that was selfish and childish- Benny wasn’t wrong there. I’m just sorry!” He looked down, fists clenched at his sides. He wanted to kick the wall.</p><p>“It’s alright,” said Cas, and the tone made Dean look up. Cas was looking at him with a curious set to his mouth, eyes narrowed but in mirth. The way a parent would look at a child they had forgiven, but were curiously hunting for a motive behind the said mischief.</p><p>While Dean was at it, he apologised for one more thing, “I’m sorry you took up a fight against Benny and Gabriel for me.”</p><p>Cas shrugged. “They had it coming. Both of them.” He paused, then asked. “What’re you going to do now?”</p><p>Dean set his shoulders. “I’m gonna keep looking for Sam and check the records about the Stynes. See what they are really up to.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>“So I’m forgiven?” Dean asked tentatively.</p><p>Cas smiled, then nodded. “While you’re at it, you should also apologise to Will.”</p><p>“Will?” </p><p>Cas’s face clouded over. “Something is up with him. He was doing your research even after you’d given up, Dean, but I am worried for him. Something is bothering him.”</p><p>Dean felt a stab of guilt. That kid! Everytime Dean thought of him he felt a pang that he couldn’t quite place. Like he wanted to reach out and stake a claim. Even in the last week, he had missed talking to Will, missed being followed with those eager eyes.</p>
<hr/><p>Dean waited until it was past midnight. All was quiet in the room. Both Benny and Gabe were asleep with their faces to the wall. Cas was up, but he only offered Dean a knowing smile as Dean set out into the night. </p><p>Earlier, he had caught hold of Barry and asked him about Will, but the bespectacled kid had squeaked two words about the Library and then ran off, like he was scared of talking to anyone who wasn’t Will. Dean had looked into the decrepit room that was the library, but either Will wasn’t there or he was really good at hiding. Disappointed, Dean had made his way back to the 5th floor.</p><p>Will had tried. He had tried to follow Dean, tried to console him, and then distract him by prattling about his day, but Dean had ignored all of it. On the second day, he’d almost slammed the door to be by himself. Thinking back now, he felt ashamed that he had let his thoughts get better of him like this and pushed his friends away. And now if Will had been in trouble all this while…</p><p>Dean slumped down against the dividing grill, hoping to get away from his thoughts now. </p><p>Someone sharply drew breath on the other side.</p><p>“Will?” Dean whispered. “Is that you?”</p><p>There was no reply.</p><p>Dean gulped. Either Will was really angry or really upset. Neither was good.</p><p>“Look,” Dean said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have behaved the way I did. It was cruel and just… not me…”</p><p>As far as apologies went, that was going really sucky and Will wasn’t even retaliating.</p><p>“C’mon, man!” Dean pleaded. “Talk to me.”</p><p>“I topped the Olympiad,” Will said in a rush, as if his head had been forced under water and had been allowed to breathe only now.</p><p>That wasn’t what Dean had expected. “That’s great news! Congratulations!” he sputtered anyway.</p><p>His exuberant words echoed in the silence against the backdrop of Will’s uneasy quiet.</p><p>“This is good, right?” Dean asked uncertainty</p><p>“Dean!” Will said urgently, “There was a couple who came here two days ago. They want to adopt me.”</p><p>The words just hung in the darkness. Whatever Dean was ready to say to console Will, died in his throat.</p><p>“Their names are Mr. and Mrs. Kensington, from uptown New York,” Will said. “They were in the organising committee for the Olympiad. My results impressed them and they came looking for me. They said they’d take me away from this… this place and help me into a new school for gifted students. Mrs. Kensington…. She said I was a prodigy. And she… she kissed me on my forehead as she was leaving.”</p><p>Will was going to be adopted. </p><p>Dean was stunned. He knew he should be saying something… congratulating Will. From what he knew, it was a big deal to be adopted and damn near impossible for anyone over 7 years to even stand a chance… and here was this glorious opportunity for Will to achieve everything he possibly could. He’d have the finest education. He’d have a new family to look after him, to take care of him. </p><p>But he would also be <em>gone.</em></p><p>“Well, man, that’s bloody brilliant!” Dean managed, even though his own voice sounded bogusly cheerful. </p><p>“Is it?” Will asked, finally his voice betraying emotion. “Is it really, Dean?”</p><p>“Of course!</p><p>“They would have never even known I existed if it wasn’t for a math quiz!” Will said forcefully.</p><p>Dean shook his head, swallowing the irrational sense of dread he was feeling. “Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted, Will? You’ve always worked so hard so you could get somewhere in life. This is your golden ticket.”</p><p>“I don’t know what I want,” Will said in a small voice. </p><p>Dean peered, trying to make out Will’s shape through the grill. If what he guessed was right, Will was also trying to do the same thing.</p><p>“Tell me something, and go with your gut here,” Dean said, “Did they feel like bad people?”</p><p>In the darkness, Will shook his head. “They seemed decent. Really interested in me… and nervous about what I had to say. I was so scared when Andy told me there was a couple coming to see me. I wanted to talk to you, but-”</p><p>“I was busy being an asshat,” Dean completed. He vividly remembered Will ambling up to him after one dinner and him having rushed away quickly.</p><p>It was like Dean’s heart was sinking through his stomach when Dean said it. “I think you should go, Will. It will be for the best.” </p><p>Then why was Dean starting to feel so hollow inside?</p><p>Will hummed softly, and Dean felt that pang again. He was going to be miserable when Will left. That was always going to be the case though. Dean wasn’t here permanently; he had a family back home waiting for him. He would be parted from Will one way or another. </p><p> “What about Sam then?” Will asked, voice still soft.</p><p>“I’ll keep looking,” Dean vowed, more to himself than to Will. “Don’t you worry about that.”</p><p>Will sighed wistfully. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but the silence continued.</p><p>Dean gulped. “Can I tell you a secret?”</p><p>Will jerked up. “What?”</p><p>It felt like admitting to a sin, but after what Benny had said, Dean had to confess it. “I don’t really remember what Sam looks like,” Dean said. “I stay awake at night looking at the walls, trying to remember something… anything. It makes me feel like I don’t even deserve to find him. What if I find him and he isn’t what I imagined him to be. What if he’s a bully, or bitter? What if he hates me?”</p><p>“Hey! Don’t say that!” Will admonished. He sounded a bit mad which was surprising given that he was so meek just a few moments ago. It startled Dean.</p><p>Will got on his knees. His hands gripped both sides of the rail, the right one directly resting over Deans.</p><p>“You can’t think like that, Dean,” Will said vehemently. “You have no clue how lucky Sam is that his big brother is out here looking for him. That too, a big brother like <em>you!</em>” His voice quivered. “I wish I was as lucky as Sam,”</p><p>Dean let go of the grill and placed his hand over Will’s. There wasn’t anything he could say to that, much less what he was actually thinking. Because there was one other thing that Dean had wanted to confess to Will, and had not- that, by some miracle if Dean actually found Sam, a small, horrible part of him was scared that he would go looking for all those little features of Will in Sam. The intelligence in his eyes, innocence of his smile and the kindness of his words. He would look for all of it… and he wouldn’t find it. Because no one else could replace Will, not even Sam. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know what would help? Lightsabers!” Will proclaimed.</p>
<p>Dean laughed and Cas gave Will an amused look.</p>
<p>“You guys think it’s funny, but we sneaked a Star Wars tape last year- you remember that, don’t you, Cas?- and those sabers could light up the whole place,” he reasoned.</p>
<p>“You know Lightsabers aren’t real,” Cas said patiently.</p>
<p>Will rolled his eyes at that. “Of course they aren’t real. I know that! But they must be using something similar during the filming. That’s what we need. We could light this whole place up. No need for dumb flashlights that give out in the middle of creepy staircases.”</p>
<p>Dean smiled indulgently. “That was one time.”</p>
<p>“And one time was enough,” Will said decidedly, his tone effectively dismissing the matter.</p>
<p>It sure had been a struggle, sneaking each night into the record room without letting anyone know. Even more, it was a task to smuggle and return Will from and back to the 4th floor. But if Dean was honest, Will kept them going. He had the sort of brightness and enthusiasm that never gave out… even on the dullest of nights.</p>
<p>It had taken Will a few days to come back to himself, but after that, Will was the driving force behind the <em>‘Sam search mission.’ </em>In fact, he seemed too bright sometimes. Dean worried if somehow Will was overcompensating, thinking that it was his job to find Sam before he left with his adoptive parents at the end of the month. That was another thing- No one was to bring the adoption up. Dean wasn’t sure it was denial. It appeared more like Will was pushing it deep, deep down. His anxieties only surfaced sometimes in the dark when it was just him and Dean, with their backs to the grill. He would suddenly go quiet and Dean would just<em> know.</em></p>
<p>“Found another!” Cas announced. “Matt Wilcox. It says he was transferred to Missouri, but no paperwork to prove it.”</p>
<p>“We have twenty-three now,” Dean said, grimly.</p>
<p>They hadn’t found many leads on Sam. Will had suggested that they go by the law of omissions. Eliminate those files that had no chance of being Sam’s. Like all kids who hadn’t been admitted around the age of 6 months, or whose physical descriptions were way off. It was time consuming, but it was still something. Meanwhile, Dean used the same idea to look into Stynes. In the past three weeks since Dean had actually started investigating the matter seriously, they had come across multiple instances of paperwork that wasn’t just shoddy but didn’t make any sense. Most of these were kids who had been abruptly displaced. Dean didn’t know if bad paperwork or a complete lack of follow-up would be good enough for Jody to make a case out of it, but if they found enough files, maybe some other link could be found.</p>
<p>It was serious work, and Will’s periodic complaints about the lack of good flashlights- which had become an essential commodity at this point- was the only entertainment.</p>
<p>Dean stashed his files away and checked his watch. It was just past 4 am.</p>
<p>“We should get back,” he suggested. “You don’t want to fall asleep in the class again, Cas.”</p>
<p>“It’s what the English Lit class is meant for,” said Cas, getting up anyway and stretching his arms. Beside him, Will nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>Dean smiled fondly at him. </p>
<p>Quietly, they made their way back to the left wing under the light of a single flashlight. It was little help, but too much light could attract attention. It was vexing to crossover from the barren left wing each night, but it was much better than risking being sighted.</p>
<p>Just as they landed on the fourth floor, a weird creaking noise came from the further left part.</p>
<p>“What the hell?” Dean scowled, pointing the flashlight. There was nothing there. Acting on an instinct, he shut the light off completely, gesturing with his hands for his other companions to stay put. </p>
<p>As if on point, a dark figure emerged at the very end of the corridor. Dean’s breath hitched; behind him, there were similar gasps of shock. </p>
<p>“Shhh…” he said, pushing them back into a deeper corner. The figure at the end was well-built and tall, and was looking straight at them in the darkness, as if suspecting their presence. After a few moments that stretched too long, the figure disappeared into the hallway ahead. </p>
<p>They stayed put like that afterwards for what seemed like ages just to make sure that they weren’t caught; then at Dean’s signal, took another flight of stairs and reached the 5th floor, opening the door and crossing over to the dorm side of the building.</p>
<p>Cas sagged against the rusted iron door, with his hand over his chest. “What. The. Hell was that?” he gasped, breathing heavily. Will was looking wide eyed, completely silently now, waiting for Dean to answer the question.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Dean finally said. “Whoever it was, wasn’t scared of being found, that’s for sure.”</p>
<p>“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?” Cas asked, brow sweaty and furrowed. Both Dean and Will nodded.</p>
<p>Neither of them said it out loud, but if whoever it was didn’t care about being spotted, it was because they thought they had the upper hand. Almost like… they owned the place. </p>
<p>The Stynes.</p>
<p>“Tomorrow,” Dean said. “We find out what the hell is happening there tomorrow.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>All through the day Dean couldn’t concentrate. It didn’t help that Cas kept falling asleep in every class. Maybe it was the complacency from staying in a place as dangerous as the Bellstone orphanage for so long, but Cas was taking their impending adventure in stride. He was behaving ordinarily. In fact , he had even prayed like he usually did in the morning. </p>
<p>Cas’s calm energy gradually caught up with Dean and by the time they got back from school, his nervousness was almost ebbed. It was ticking in the back of his mind that Will and Barry hadn’t joined up with them after school as they usually did, but he didn’t pay much heed to it. Lately, the school was conducting weird psych analysis on Will to determine if he was all set for the adoption and subsequently the move to New York. </p>
<p>Dean couldn’t think about it without feeling a punch to his gut, so he pushed the thought out of his head.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Cas whispered as they reached the entrance of the boys home. “I’m going to go see if I can pick some more flashlights out of Garth’s supply closet. Meet you in the dorm room later?”</p>
<p>“Alright.”</p>
<p>They had put their heads together and deduced that there was no way Garth was involved in any of the stuff going around here. As Dean made his way to the shower room, he thought to himself that it may very well be possible that Garth was completely unaware. He lived down in the town, a good five miles away from the orphanage, and rode on his decrepit motorcycle every alternate day to do the essential maintenance or janitorial stuff that boys in the home couldn’t take care of. On occasions, he had stayed over late, but it was plausible that he didn’t know that there was something sinister going on here. Besides, anyone who had met Garth knew him to be absentminded. Good, but lost in his own tune.</p>
<p>Somehow the thought was uplifting for Dean. Not everyone in the staff was horrible. He hadn’t given the cook and the two henchmen like dudes that seemed to hang around with Andy the benefit of the doubt yet.</p>
<p>The shower did its work and Dean felt alert as he made his way back to the dorm room. As he reached the 5th floor main corridor, he saw Will.</p>
<p>Will was white. His forehead was clammy with sweat and his eyes were wide in horror.</p>
<p>Every thought abandoned Dean except for a nameless alarm over Will’s horror. Was he hurt? </p>
<p>Before Dean could utter another word, Will came barreling forward, almost tripping over his own shoes.</p>
<p>“Dean!” Will said, the name falling out of his lips like both a call for help and a prayer of relief.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Dean asked dreading the reply</p>
<p>Tears Swam in Will’s eyes. Tears of helplessness and fear. “They took him, Dean,” he sobbed. “They took Barry.”</p>
<p>With that, he collapsed on the floor, his knees completely giving out beneath him.</p>
<p>Dean rushed to him, falling on his own knees. “Barry?”</p>
<p>Will’s lips were quivering, but his voice was surprisingly strong. “I saw him at school in the morning, but he said he was feeling sick, so they let him go early. I-I just had a bad feeling about this so I skipped the class and came back here, but Barry was just gone.”</p>
<p>“Hey, maybe he’s just hanging around somewhere,” Dean tried to rationalise. “Maybe he went into town instead. It’s just 6 in the evening. You don’t know that he’s decided to play hooky and be somewhere else.”</p>
<p>“No-no,” Will shook his head. “Barry isn’t like that. You know him! I’m his only friend and he always sticks by me. Besides, I asked this other kid who had stayed back from school today, and he said Barry had definitely come back.”</p>
<p>“We need to ask Andy,” Dean said. “He’ll-…”</p>
<p>“I asked already!” Will cried. “He said Barry was transferred.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Shit!</em>
</p>
<p>“I- I,” Will said, looking around wildly. “We need to go to the left wing. I know that’s where they are keeping him. They have to be!”</p>
<p>Dean didn’t think it was possible to be more horrified… but somehow he did.</p>
<p>“Will!” Dean shook his friend by the shoulders to get him to snap out of it. “Listen to me! We <em>will</em> find Barry. We <em>wil</em>l go there tonight and bring him back, okay?”</p>
<p>Will’s eyes stilled, the black pupils were so dark they overpowered the hazel around it.</p>
<p>“You promise?” </p>
<p>Dean cursed internally, but outside, he said, “I promise.”</p>
<p>So fast that Dean didn’t have time to react, Will flung his arms around Dean’s middle and hugged him hard. Dean’s own hand instinctively came to rest over Will’s head, his fingers weaving into the soft brown. He could feel Will’s sobs wracking his own body, the tears staining his shirt, but Dean held on, tightening his grip on the boy, as if by sheer willpower he could fix everything that was wrong.</p>
<p>A part of him did not want to let go. Something deep inside was just screaming at Dean to hold on to Will and make a run for it. Leave everything behind to just protect this kid. But there were lives at stake here. He could picture Barry’s crying face when that bully at school had raised his arm at him, then the absolute faithfulness with which he looked at Will. </p>
<p>Dean ran his hand over Will’s shoulders, over and over till his heaves subsided.</p>
<p>He moved back ever so lightly to look Will in his tear stained, anguished eyes. “You listen to me now, Will. Go back to your room and wait for us to signal you at night, okay?”</p>
<p>Will nodded,with implicit trust in his eyes and Dean wanted to kick himself for lying.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dean sprinted all the way back from Will’s room, after having walked him down there, and skidded to a halt in his dorm room, almost banging into Benny. He let out a yelp of surprise at the intrusion but then gave Dean a brief, hesitant smile. Benny had been trying to be nice after his blow out almost a month ago. Sometimes Dean could see he was struggling to say the words, to make it okay, but hadn’t been able to.</p>
<p>Today, he actually tried. “Hey, Dean-,” he started to say but Dean cut it off quickly.</p>
<p>“Where’s Cas?”</p>
<p>“He’s not back yet.”</p>
<p>Dean turned around and kicked the foot of his bed. “Damn it!” he yelled.</p>
<p>“Dean!”</p>
<p>Behind him, Cas had just entered the room, slightly sweaty and breathless, two flashlights clutched to his chest. </p>
<p>“Barry-” </p>
<p>“I know!” Cas said, forehead crumpling. “A couple of kids were talking about it.”</p>
<p>Dean gave another frustrated yell.</p>
<p>“What? What happened?” Benny asked, vigilant now, all awkwardness gone.</p>
<p>Hurriedly, in a low voice, Dean repeated everything that had happened with Will. When he was done, both Cas’s and Benny’s faces were identical masks of horror.</p>
<p>“We have to go to the west wing, Dean!” Cas said decidedly, his voice grim.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Benny agreed. </p>
<p>Dean sank down on his bed with a thud. “You can’t come with us, Benny.”</p>
<p>“What? Why-” Benny started to protest but Dean cut him off. Again.</p>
<p>“You can’t come with us, because I want you here, standing by the door, making sure no one knows or follows us.”</p>
<p>“I don’t see the need,” Benny reasoned. “No one will be up at night.”</p>
<p>Dean exhaled, slowly. “We are not going to wait for nightfall. We’re doing it now, in an hour.”</p>
<p>“But Will? You just said that you promised him we’ll go after the lights go out…” Cas trailed off.</p>
<p>“This is <em>because</em> of Will,” Dean said through his teeth. “I lied to him. He’s just a kid. Sneaking into the record room at night is one thing, but dragging him into <em>this</em>? When even I don’t know what’s waiting there? I can’t do it. Better for him to be angry with me tomorrow than risk his life. Besides, he is in no shape to go anywhere. He’s scared out of his mind for Barry.”</p>
<p>Dean knew everything he was saying made sense, but the real reason behind lying to Will was that Dean knew he’d be himself paralysed with fear for Will, if he was to go anywhere near whatever crap was happening in the west wing. The mere thought of Will being in danger made Dean’s knees give out.</p>
<p>“In fact, Cas,” Dean said slowly, “I can’t ask you to risk your life for this either.”</p>
<p>“Oh, shut up, Dean!” Cas sais, exasperated. “How old do you think I am? 12? I can make my own decisions and I’m coming with you.”</p>
<p>Dean felt his body loosen slightly with relief. While thinking of Will in a dangerous situation filled him with dread, knowing that Cas was going to be with him, made him feel relieved. Friendship was unpredictable like that… you couldn’t guess how it would make you feel.</p>
<p>“Alright, then,” Dean said, “This is how we do it.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was as dark as it always was in the west wing, despite it being just over 7 o clock, and the lights in the compound still on. Both Dean and Cas had their flashlights throwing lights into the far end of the corridor as they made their way through the stinking, grimy passageway. Benny had deftly taken his place next to the door, without any hesitation. Dean had handed him the set of keys and decided on a certain knocking rhythm so he would know it was them when they returned and opened the door for them. The door opened easily from the outside, and unlike the long nights, today Dean didn’t have the luxury of trying all the keys in the dark till the right one fit.</p>
<p>With precise coordination that only came after weeks and weeks of sneaking around in dark decrepit places, Dean and Cas moved along the decaying wall towards the end of the corridor. From what Dean knew of the building footprint, having extensively inspected the form from the outside, the corridor should lead into something of a hallway. Even as they rounded the corner, a sense of foreboding gripped Dean. In all of their nightly excursions, they had never ventured this far into the west wing. The hallway opened up into another short corridor that swiftly made a left turn, blocking all view.</p>
<p>Dean quickly exchanged a look with Cas, confirming that they both agreed upon continuing further ahead. The swift left turn wasn’t in fact a turn, but a narrow, crooked staircase. What was more? There was light emanating from the bottom of the stairwell. It was dim and threatening, but there was definitely something going on there. With another cautious look, Dean started descending the staircase, now switching off the flashlight. Behind him, Cas did the same. Together they climbed down, clutching the wall for support.</p>
<p>The staircase led all the way down till what would be the first floor. The passageway ahead was lit with less wattage bulbs emitting a dull reddish light. It was menacing. The floor itself was like the dormitory wing he slept in. Rooms on one side, next to each other, all connected by a single, small passage. But unlike the dorm, the wall opposite the rooms didn’t have a line of windows; it was blank and solid. </p>
<p>Suddenly there was a banging noise. Without thinking, Dean dashed ahead, passing small rooms with grilled iron doors. His peripheral vision caught something and he came to a skittering halt.</p>
<p>One of the rooms was unlocked and the rusted, the metal door swaying off his hinges. Inside, hanging from the ceiling were long chains that ended in shackles. What was worse? There were dark splashes on the wall- dark brown in colour- of what suspiciously looked like blood.</p>
<p>Dean’s stomach turned and he looked away. If there had been anything in his stomach, it would have come out now.</p>
<p>“Is that… is that…” Cas was too disgusted to even complete the sentence.</p>
<p>The banging echoed again and Dean rushed towards the door it was coming from. That particular room was in darkness as the light within had been turned off. However, there was movement in the shadowed corner.</p>
<p>“Dean?”</p>
<p>The voice was muted and hopeless… but it was definitely Barry’s.</p>
<p>Dean banged against the door. “Barry! Oh thank God you’re okay.”</p>
<p>But he had said it too quickly. For Barry’s small figure dragged its way across the small room towards the door, and in the little light reflecting from the bulbs above, Dean could see the dark wetness of blood against his face. Barry’s spectacles weren’t on him, and his leg was twisted in a way that was anything but natural.</p>
<p>“My God,” Cas whispered, and fell against the grill, trying to shove his hand between the rod to get to him. “Barry!”</p>
<p>Barry broke down completely. His face was bloodied and bruised but the most horrifying thing was the hopelessness in Barry’s eyes. He had given up.</p>
<p>“Barry!” Dean reached out so the tips of his fingers touched Barry’s brown hair. “I’m gonna get you out of here.”</p>
<p>Barry just shook his head. “They’re coming for me, Dean. I heard them, the car is right outside,” he cried, in a dead voice. “You can’t help me.”</p>
<p>“I’m not giving up, Damn it!” Dean said fiercely. “I’m going to get out of here and inform the police. I have a pager stashed under my clothes. They’ll free you.”</p>
<p>They<em> had to</em> free him.</p>
<p>“Cas,” Dean said, “Stay here and raise a riot if you see any movement or hear anything, okay? I’m gonna head up and contact Jody.”</p>
<p>Cas’s chin jerked up in quick acknowledgement and he shuffled closer to the grill.</p>
<p>Dean turned to Barry, his eyes stinging at the corners. “You hold on, Barry. Cas is right here with you. I’ll be back in a moment.” </p>
<p>At long last, Barry nodded, a small light of hope in his pained eyes. With one last look, Dean bolted back towards the hallway, and up through the staircase. Nothing seemed real to him anymore. He banged three times as they had decided, and within seconds the door opened. Dean stumbled out and onto the floor.</p>
<p>Benny was next to him in a flash. Maybe it was the look on Dean’s face or Cas’s absence, but Benny stiffened. </p>
<p>“I- I need to get to the pager,” Dean heaved breathlessly.</p>
<p>Benny didn’t ask for an explanation or even what had happened. He moved quickly and helped Dean to his feet which were starting to feel like the bones were beginning to melt. Somehow, Dean managed to stand straight and reach his room. Once there, he hauled his duffel bag from under the bed and yanked the zipper, frantically digging into the base of the bag to find the rolled up wad of socks in which he had hid the pager.</p>
<p>Soon, his hand wrapped around the small plastic object and he pulled it free of the clothes. He hurriedly turned it on. It seemed like an eternity before the pager beeped to life and the small line blinked on. With shaking hands Dean typed-</p>
<p>EMERGENCY. COME NOW.</p>
<p>He hit send and the pager tumbled out of his shivering hands. It would take Jody at least an hour and a half to get here. And Barry had said that the car was already here to take him. Till then Dean had to do all he could stall them. </p>
<p>“Get a grip!” Benny said, laying a hand on Dean’s shoulder. His voice was gruff, but kind. Dean felt a welling gratefulness towards Benny.</p>
<p>“Benny,” Dean said, getting to his feet. “We have to hurry, but there is one more thing I have to do.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Hide Will here!”</p>
<p>There was a sick feeling in his stomach that refused to go away, and it only multiplied whenever he thought of Will. “I’m going down to fetch him, and then we’ll lock him in our room. I know it sounds stupid but I just… I…”</p>
<p>“You don’t need to explain, brother,” Benny said. “I understand how you feel. I would have done the same for Jaime. I’ll go find Castiel in the west wing, you find Will.”</p>
<p>Dean quickly explained the location of Cas and Barry, and then Dean was running again. It was dinner time so he rushed to the dinning hall first, but in all the crowd, he couldn’t spot Will’s particular mop of brown hair. With rising alarm he looked in the library, the game room, even the godforsaken record room, but his friend wasn’t to be found anywhere. Finally, almost on the verge of nausea, Dean reached Will’s room. His sandy haired roommate was sitting on the bunk bed, shuffling through laundry clothes.</p>
<p>“Will?” Dean asked, throat parched. “Where’s Will?”</p>
<p>The kid gave Dean an odd look. “He’s not here,” he said. “Left with Andy a while ago.”</p>
<p>The blood in  Dean’s veins seemed to go cold.</p>
<p>“Andy?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” the kid shrugged. “Andy said his adoptive parents were here for him, for some urgent formality. That their car was waiting outside. Will wanted to say goodbye to you, but Andy said he could say it when he came back.”</p>
<p>
  <em>The car was waiting outside.</em>
</p>
<p>Blood thundered in Dean’s ears, and without his mind directing, his body moved, taking him upstairs in a desperate numbness. </p>
<p>Outside, his body collided with Cas’s. </p>
<p>Castiel was crying. There was a thin stream of blood trickling down the side of his face, along his ear and neck.</p>
<p>“Barry is gone,” he said, voice completely hollow. “I was waiting there, but something hit me hard on the head and I clocked out. When I came to, Benny was standing over me and Barry w- was… gone.</p>
<p>From the grounds, there was a sharp sound of an engine revving, and all three of them turned to watch through the north windows as two cars drove away from the fence… their tail lights becoming pinpoints as they disappeared into the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been over an hour, Dean knew that much. The old clock by the bed ticked on relentlessly, pointing out every second that Will was gone; Will and Barry, while Dean couldn’t do anything about it. Cas had gone on and on about how sorry he was that he had let someone clock him out like that. But it wasn’t his fault that someone knocked him unconscious.</p><p>Logically, Dean knew there wasn’t anything he could do except wait for Jody to send cops and get them some help, but the chaos in his head wouldn’t let him do anything except wear a hole in the sticky carpet of the room. He was going out of his mind worrying about what could be happening to them right now.  </p><p>Benny was standing over Cas, trying to console him.</p><p>“There was nothing else you could’ve done, Cas,” he said. Frustration and anger were evident in his features. “It’s a miracle that they didn’t kill you for finding out about the holding cells.”</p><p>Dean’s passive pacing stopped and he came to a halt. The same thought had been itching him, too. In fact, it was the only thing keeping him standing, knowing that somehow Cas had gotten away. That they had decided to leave him be. Now that Benny had said it out loud, something struck him- a hunch that was fast becoming a suspicion.</p><p>“Cas,” Dean said, “Did you really see nothing?”</p><p>“No!” Cas grimaced. “My head was turned.”</p><p>“And did you hear anything?”</p><p>Again, Cas shook his head, anguished.</p><p>“That means whoever it was, knew the place well. They didn’t use the flashlight. Though, unlike that figure from yesterday, who didn’t make a single effort to hide himself, this person was stealthy. He did not want to be found. And…” Dean hesitated. Not because he was unsure of what he was saying, but because he knew it would affect his friend. He took a deep breath and continued. “… I think I know who it is.”</p><hr/><p>Dean had never set foot into this particular room before. It was a general rule that only people who were specifically asked could be here at any point of the day. Today, he was beyond caring, beyond giving a single thought about what happened to him, let alone what anybody thought. Will was in danger and if he had to get his ass kicked by the people who had it against him from day one, then so be it. Even if it meant getting bloodied and beaten to pulp by those jerks.</p><p>The boy he was looking for was sprawled across the bed, hand over his face.</p><p>“Michael!” Dean bellowed.</p><p>The room went quiet. His roommates, Gary and Raphael, sat up bolt, scowling at Dean with ill-concealed hatred and anger.</p><p>Michael’s face did not betray a single emotion. “Winchester,” he drawled.</p><p>Dean stepped inside and immediately Michael’s cronies sprang out of the beds, flexing their muscles. He ducked and swiped his foot from under Gary’s legs, knocking him down on his ass, then pivoted and punched Raphael in the face. Both of them crumpled to the ground. Dean did not wait for them to move. He strided forward till he was face to face with Michael.</p><p>“Where is Will?” he said, voice muted but seething.</p><p>Michael looked at him hard, then carefully shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>Dean balled his fists. “I know it’s you who aids the smuggling of the kids. You, who helps Andy and the Stynes with whatever the hell they’re doing out there… and it was you who hit Cas on the head in the west wing.”</p><p>When Michael didn’t respond, Dean pushed ahead and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Michael was a couple inches taller, but Dean was burning with rage. </p><p>Gary and Raphael had straightened up, and were beginning to advance on Dean, when Michael put his hand out. Dean could see that it was shaking with constraint. Anger or something else, he did not know.</p><p>“What makes you think that?” Michael said, eyes narrowing dangerously.</p><p>Dean let go of him with a push. “I know because no one else would have let Cas go. You are the only one who has any sort of pull over Andy and for some godforsaken reason you like Cas. Your lap dogs don’t care about anyone… not even Cas. They beat him bloody in the kitchens, but when you’re around they don’t dare rough him up. They wouldn’t have cared today. No one would have except you. So I’m right about you… aren’t I?”</p><p>Michael’s fist came flying out of nowhere and within the split of a second Dean was on the ground, his head hitting the floor hard.</p><p>“You don’t know anything!” Michael shouted. “You, moron!” His eyes were wild… not just with anger, but also with what could only be fear.</p><p>“What the fuck were you thinking snooping around in the left wing, you idiot?” he barked. “And dragging my brother into this? If anyone found out…”</p><p>“If anyone ever found out what?” Cas’s voice was as flat as Dean had ever heard it. He turned his neck upwards to see Cas standing by the door, Benny right behind him.</p><p>Dean got to his feet just as Cas walked right up to Michael.</p><p>The colour drained from Michael’s face when he saw Cas, and Dean couldn’t help but notice the tiny change in his demeanor. How his eyes quickly scanned Cas’s face, and his head where the blow had been delivered. The blood was still dry along the line of his ear.</p><p>“N-nothing,” he stuttered, backing a little.</p><p>“My whole life I thought there’s some purpose to everything that happens. Some divine entity looking over all of us.” Cas said in an odd diminished tone. “Isn’t that what they wanted us to believe in that missionary orphanage? I used to look up to you. How you were always so strong and the best at everything. How you would never let any of the boys bully us… look after us like we were your own. And I used to think- ‘what if my parents abandoned me… I still have a family. I have a big brother.’ But you… <em>you?”</em></p><p>Cas looked away… disgusted. It was worse than if he had spat in Michael’s face or even slapped him. There was just something completely blasphemous about Cas’s disappointment. It was like watching an angel crash to the ground. Even though it wasn’t aimed at Dean, that expression on his friends face was just wrong.</p><p>Looking at it, something broke in Michael.</p><p>“What was I supposed to do?” He yelled, spreading his arms wide. “You don’t know how it is… how it was when that orphanage shut down and we were dumped here. I’m the oldest. All you kids are my responsibility. My family. I had to do whatever I could to protect you, and I did. I am not going to apologise for that. Hell, if it came to it, I would still do it all over again. It’s better for it to be some other kid I’ve never talked to than a brother of mine… than you, <em>Castiel.”</em></p><p>Cas flinched. It was painful to see.</p><p>“What do they do with the kids, Michael?” Cas asked point blank.</p><p>“I can’t tell you,” Michael said</p><p>Cas looked at him steadily, his blue eyes rimmed with red. “Can’t or won’t?”</p><p>Michael gritted his teeth, “I can’t, okay? They will take you away, if they found out that you knew.”</p><p>Cas squared his shoulders. “If you don’t tell me, I’m going to find Andy and tell him that I know. Then they’ll take me anyway.”</p><p>“No!” Michael’s voice was menacing. “This is all because of you, Winchester! I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he isn’t the same anymore.”</p><p>“Cas has a mind of his own,” Dean said through gritted teeth. “If you think of him as a brother, maybe you should give him more credit.”</p><p>“You!” Michael lunged, hands outstretched towards Dean, but Benny got there first. </p><p>“Won’t happen, asshole!” Benny grunted. “Now tell us where Will and Barry are.”</p><p>Michael spat in his face.</p><p>Dean braced himself to throw a punch, but Cas’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.</p><p>“Michael,” Cas said, his voice hopeless and strangled. “Mike… if you’ve ever thought of me as your brother, please tell us where they are. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ll go turn myself over to Andy. Then they’ll either have to kill me to shut me up or do whatever it is that they do.”</p><p>Dean had expected some visible reaction from Michael… he got more than he had imagined. Michael staggered backwards, eyes widened, and then almost crashed into his bed, mouth hanging open in silent horror.</p><p>“No… don’t… don’t say that.”</p><p>Cas walked right up to him. “I will do it,” he repeated quietly.</p><p>Michael put his face in his hands. When he spoke through his fingers, his voice was muffled. “There’s an abandoned warehouse, about 20 miles south of the town. The Stynes have owned that property since before this orphanage existed. They use it as the base for their operation.”</p><p>“What operation?” Dean asked impatiently, rushing ahead, and Michael shot him a loathsome look.</p><p>However, he did answer the question. “It’s an organ trafficking scam. They have a couple of trained people under them who remove kidneys, heart, liver, and then sell it to the highest bidder in the black market.”</p><p>“What happens to the kids afterwards?” Benny asked. He was the only one who could even talk. Cas looked about as sick as Dean felt. The growing horror had exploded in his chest and Dean stumbled into a nearby chair.</p><p>“If they live, they’re either put into a begging racket or sold into prostitution. But most of the time… they don’t…” He didn’t complete the sentence because there was a loud crack. Cas had punched him in the face. Gary and Raphael moved, but Michael put his hand out, holding them off again. </p><p>“How dare you?” Cas growled, tears were making their way down the side of his face.</p><p>All fight seemed to have gone out of Michael. “I had to do it. I figured it out quickly enough after we were moved, and Andy threatened to sell you all off first if I opened my mouth. He offered me a deal. That all of us would be safe if I helped him manage the crowd. Did his job of looking at the kids when he was away, and shut everyone up who threatened the operation.”</p><p>“So they bought your silence!”</p><p>“What was I supposed to do?” Michael shouted. “You are my family. My responsibility!”</p><p>“You should have gone to the police!” Cas shouted back. “Don’t give me any crap about how you didn’t have a chance. You have had enough liberties here, and at school. Don’t try to pin your weakness on us! I would have rather died than be a part of any of this, knowing or unknowingly. I can’t imagine what poor kid died in my place. How many…” Cas trailed off in horror.</p><p>“Jaime!” Benny asked. “What about Jaime?”</p><p>Michael shook his head, hands in his hair. “He didn’t make it.”</p><p>Benny staggered to the side, his face crumpling in sorrow and pain.</p><p>Dean seized Michael by the collar, but he didn’t attempt to fight back. He looked defeated. “What about Will? He was going to be adopted. Obviously the Kensingtons will look for him now that he is missing. It was the dumbest thing to do! To risk an inquiry for the sake of a single kid.”</p><p>“Will was special,” Michael whispered. “The only reason he had even remained here was because they were saving him. His blood group- AB negative- is rare, they knew he’d fetch a lot of money. Last week a very wealthy businessman of the same blood group posted a bid. Adoption be damned. Will was always the means to big money.”</p><p>“Stop saying ‘<em>was!</em>” Dean thundered, pushing Michael with both hands. “Will is alright and I’m going to find him. You take me to him now, you son of bitch!”</p><p>For the third time in the night, the door swung open, hitting the adjacent wall with a crash. On the threshold stood Gabriel, his face had red angry patches and fury blazed in his eyes. “You, asshole!” he yelled and launched himself at Michael, throwing punches after punches. This time Gary and Raphael didn’t stand back, they rushed in, too. So did Dean and Benny. A chaos of punches and kicks followed, till Dean and Benny had the other two pinned to the floor. Michael was still taking the hits without any protest.</p><p>Dean wanted him to be furious, wanted Michael to shout and fight back, because he deserved the thrashing. There was something utterly frustrating about watching him just take it.</p><p>Meanwhile, Gabriel was hurling abuses after abuses, each punctuated by another punch. From what Dean gathered out of the broken curses, he had been spying on them all along- Dean, Cas and Benny- after the standoff in their room weeks ago, and that had led him to overhear this conversation. He was also from the same orphanage as Cas, and all things considered, he had also looked upto Michael as their brother.</p><p>While Gabe hit every part of Michael that he could find, Cas stood in the corner, eyes hollow, staring at nothing.</p><p>“Enough!” Dean yelled. “Michael! The police are on their way. One way or another this ends tonight. Will you take us to the warehouse?”</p><p>His face was bloody and bruised badly, one of his eyes was red. Michael raised his head to give Cas a slow glance. Cas was leaning against the wall, tears flowing unbounded. </p><p>“Yes!” Michael groaned, still not taking his eyes off the boy who was like his little brother. “I’ll take you there.”</p><p>“I’m coming,” Benny said, “You can’t stop me.”</p><p>Dean wasn’t going to. Benny deserved to go as much as any of them did. If it hadn’t been for his help, they’d have never managed to get any information.</p><p>“I’m coming, too.” Gabriel’s voice sounded brittle, but it did not waiver.</p><p>He had red splotches on his nose and cheeks, and he looked like someone had pulled the rug from under him. Dean wasn’t sure what to make of any of it. He didn’t know Gabriel at all. </p><p>“Look-” Dean began.</p><p>“Don’t look at me like that,” Gabriel shot back. He looked so out of his usual sauve and confident element. “Tell them, Cas,” he pleaded to his brother. “Tell them that you want me there with you.”</p><p>Cas seemed to have not heard anything at all. He was in shock.</p><p>Gabriel walked over to him and shook Cas. “Say something! You asked me to pick a side, remember? Now I am picking yours!”</p><p>Cas snapped out of it. His eyes landed on Gabriel and then met Dean’s. Ever so lightly, he nodded.</p><p>There was no time to argue about anything. They had to get out of here. Jody must be close.</p><p>It was clear in Dean’s mind what he needed to do. First, he had to go back to his room and page the address of the warehouse to Jody, then they would gather all the flashlights they could find and get the hell out of the place.</p><p>“There’s one problem,” Gabriel said urgently, “We don’t have a car, and none of us know how to drive.”</p><p>Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Images of working in Bobby’s backyard on tens and hundreds of cars flashed through his mind. Him jacking up the gears, fixing the engine, wiring the car… even taking them for a drive. Bobby taking him through the town, smiling proudly as Dean parallel parked perfectly.</p><p>He opened his eyes, fists clenched in determination. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We just have to get to the edge of the town.”</p><p>Will was coming back to him. Even if he had to bring heaven and hell together to make it happen.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The adrenaline had taken over his body. That was the only explanation for how Dean could even remotely function with this sort of efficiency, let alone calmth. The first part of the plan had played out without a hitch. It had been easy to walk out of the Orphanage with Andy gone. They had walked too fast- almost sprinted- all the way till the edge of the town and it had taken Dean all of five minutes to fuse the wires and have the first car they saw running. It was an old Toyota XUV, stick shift, but nothing Dean hadn’t handled before.</p><p>So they had set out into the night. Dean in the driver’s seat and Cas in the shotgun. Behind, Gabriel and Benny were sitting on either sides with Michael wedged between them. Gabriel had insisted on tying Michael’s hands behind his back. Dean couldn’t care less. It wasn’t like Michael was going to try anything funny. All he could do was point out directions when Dean was about to make turns and furtively steal looks at Cas who was sitting as passively as a stone besides Dean. </p><p>Dean knew Cas was distraught. Everything that Cas had believed in had been shattered in front of his eyes. Moreover, somewhere deep down he was wallowing in guilt that countless others had been sacrificed while he enjoyed his privileged safety. Both he and Gabriel must be feeling it. Dean should have been feeling something, too. Sadness, empathy… something for his friend. But in reality, he was feeling nothing except a haunting and all encompassing numbness.</p><p>His brain was processing Michael’s instructions, and his muscles were responding accordingly, steering the wheel in the right direction, but that’s all. Somewhere he knew that this odd disembodiment wouldn’t last, that it was his body’s defense mechanism to save him from the overloading of emotions and crippling fear each time he thought of Will. So he just didn’t. He didn’t think about anything except getting to the damned warehouse. Because, he knew if he waited long enough, allowed himself to feel, he’d be folded on the floor, paralysed in terror at the prospect of what might be. </p><p>If the numbness was the only thing keeping him upright and functioning, then so be it. Dean welcomed it.</p><p>“Take the second left and drive until the end of the road,” Michael said quietly. “That’s where the barn-house is. Turn off the headlights when you hit the country road. They have guards watching.”</p><p>There was a rough grunt from behind and Benny made a disapproving sound. “Stop hitting him,” Benny said. </p><p>“This is not about you, Lafitte,” Gabriel hissed. “This son of a bitch rode his high horse all these years and ruled the fucking place like he was some sort of king. All the while he was letting all those boys get bloodied and cut open and sold.”</p><p>Despite himself, a shudder overcame Dean, and he could feel a tiny crack in his numbness.</p><p>There was another hit.</p><p>“Stop hitting him, Gabe.” It was the first time Cas had spoken since they had left the orphanage.</p><p>Gabriel made an incredulous sound. “You of all people are saying this, Cas? You? Don’t tell me this bastard doesn’t deserve it!”</p><p>Cas shook his head. He looked haunted and his voice was dry, parched even. “You aren’t really angry at him. You’re angry at yourself. You’re angry because you always suspected that something wasn’t right with this place, that Andy was abusing his power. You always doubted that the privilege that came with being from Michael’s orphanage came at the cost of something horrible that he knew about, that he was a part of. You knew it in your gut and you ignored it. Overlooked it. Because confronting Michael would have meant giving up your freedom and comforts which you were so used to, which you loved. Don’t kid yourself by thinking that you’re angry with Michael. You’re angry with yourself. Angry and feeling guilty because you could have easily been one of those kids but you aren’t. You are safe and sound while some poor kid died instead of you.”</p><p>His words were followed by silence. An uncomfortable, too deep silence.</p><p>Dean looked over at Cas who was still glaring straight ahead into the night, eyes completely dry now. When he spoke next, his voice was softer, more like the Cas Dean knew and cared for.</p><p>“Gabe,” Cas said, “I know how you’re feeling. But now is not the time for it. You can’t let it get to you, can’t let the anger overpower you when you need to think straight. You have to get a grip on yourself because we need to save those boys.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Gabriel sighed. “I’m sorry.” And Dean could hear the crushing guilt there along with severe self-loathing. </p><p>How had he never seen this? All those weeks and months spent in the same room, he had never suspected that Gabriel’s outlandish, extravagant behaviour could be a direct sign of him acting out… because he felt miserable inside.</p><p>“It’s okay, man!” Benny said quietly. “Nobody is holding anything against you. Ain’t that right, Dean?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Besides,” Benny continued, “We’re here.”</p><p>The grey outline of the building was visible even from a couple hundred yards away. Yellow lights pouring out of the windows lent a sinister glow to the structure. </p><p>Dean cut the engine and climbed out of the car, everyone followed suit. </p><p>“Okay, here’s what we do,” he said. “Cas and I will try to get in from the front door. Gabriel, is there anyway that you can cause a distraction?”</p><p>“Distraction is my middle name,” Gabriel said with a small tilt to his mouth. He reached out into his pockets and casually removed what looked like detonators. “You say it, I got it!”</p><p>“Benny, I need you to go out back and see if there’s another entrance there. It seems likely.”</p><p>“Alright,” Benny said, bending to buckle his shoes.</p><p>“What about me?” Michael who was staring defiantly at him. At least as defiantly as one could, with their bound hands trussing up the shoulders awkwardly.</p><p>“Oh, you’re staying in the car,” Gabriel said, jerking him back in.</p><p>“You can’t do this to me!” he protested</p><p>Gabriel smirked bitterly as he pushed Michael inside and shut the car door to his face. “We can and we will.”</p><p>There was no point in discussing the nuances of the plan. Each minute spent standing was a minute wasted, a minute more of Will’s life in danger. </p><p>Dean signaled and all of them made a move, hurrying as stealthily as they could along the tall outgrowth that ruled most of the property. At the very edge of it, with a single nod, Benny split from them and sprinted towards the south. Gabriel too gave a sly grin, eyes full of his usual mischief. He saluted once and headed in the opposite direction from Benny.</p><p>With bated breath, Dean listened carefully for anything that was unusual. He wasn’t sure what Gabriel’s detonator was supposed to do, but it had to be something noticeable. </p><p>Cas was squinting into the darkness, trying to make sense of what lay ahead of them. It was hard to tell, but from the light that filtered out of the ghastly grey windows, they could make out the shapes of about five men. Two of them were guarding the entrance and three were making patrol rounds. All of them wielded guns.</p><p>Dean felt a shooting fear for Benny who was out there by himself and even Gabriel. They were both unarmed and alone. If anything happened to them… on Dean’s watch…</p><p>A sudden, brilliant light lit up the night followed by a loud blast far along the western edge. All of the five men abandoned their post and hurried towards the commotion. </p><p>“Where the hell does he even get those things?” Cas muttered next to Dean.</p><p>They waited for a few more minutes then crept further ahead. They were right in front of the warehouse now with just a few thinly spaced trees in between and a line of cars. There would be no hiding now. </p><p>“C’mon,” Dean said and they made a beeline for the car closest to the building and ducked behind it. The guards at the door had been replaced by two more and from inside the warehouse, a couple more were hurrying to join the others who had rushed to find the source of the blast. </p><p>When enough time had passed for Dean to be sure that no one else was coming out from inside, he gestured to Cas and they dived at the two guards. It was crucial for it to be a surprise attack or else they were going to start firing guns and alert everyone. It started out well when Dean jumped on top of the sturdier looking man, knocking the gun right out of his hand; but the other guard was quicker. He grabbed Cas’s hand and twisted it around till there was an audible crack and Cas went down with a yelp. The man standing over him hit Cas with the blunt end of his gun and then turned it around to aim the barrel at Cas’s face.</p><p>Before Dean could even register what was happening, there was a guttural cry and a fist landed on the guards neck, who immediately crumpled next to Cas. Dean noted Michael’s face in the flurry of movement but his instincts led him to kick the guy he was holding down and then land a blow to his neck. He slumped down as well.</p><p>“You were in the car!” Dean scowled. “How did you get out?”</p><p>Michael bent down to check on Cas. “No thanks to you, asshole,” he said. “I’ve spent my whole life being kicked out and pushed into sinkholes. You think a leather cord around my wrists and a locked car was going to stop me?”</p><p>Dean did not retort. He was worried for his friend. Cas looked faint and in a lot of pain. He had sustained not one but two blows to his head tonight, and from the looks of it, his wrist was broken. Even then, he shrugged out of Michael’s grasp.</p><p>“You should hurry, Dean,” Cas said through gritted teeth. His face was beaded with sweat and he looked ready to pass out.</p><p>Ordinarily, Dean would have never trusted Michael with anything, but when it came to Cas, there wasn’t much Michael wouldn’t do. Hadn’t that already been proven in the most horrible way possible already?</p><p>“Michael,” Dean barked. “You stay with Cas. He’s in no shape to go anywhere. Help him over to the edge of the outgrowth. He should be well hidden from view. I don’t care about what happens to you, but we both care about Cas. Protect him!”</p><p>Cas protested vaguely and Dean knew he would be mad about this later, but right now it was the right thing to do.</p><p>Fortunately, Michael didn’t waste any time in coming up with a comeback. He hauled Cas’s good arm over his shoulder, and led them both out the clearing. </p><p>This was it. Dean bent down and grabbed the weapons lying around. He tucked the smaller gun into the waistline of his jeans and held the rifle in his hands, then, he dove into the warehouse.</p><p>The inside reminded him of the west wing. It was just as dirty and stank of old blood. He shuddered as he made his way into the interiors. There were noises to follow and an obviously well used corridor leading towards them. Dean followed it as carefully as he could, keeping his eyes and ears open should there be any more of the henchmen around. It wouldn’t take them long to figure out that the noise was a decoy and then head straight inside.</p><p>His ears picked up the distinct sound of careful footsteps around the corner and Dean raised the rifle as he made the bend, poking it into the person who emerged from the other side.</p><p>“What the hell, Winchester!” Gabriel hissed. “Why’re you trying to kill <em>me?</em>”</p><p>He wasn’t alone. Next to him Benny was trying to keep a straight face at Gabriel’s panicked expression. Even being in a murder building with weapon wielding mercenaries couldn’t faze Benny all that much.</p><p>“Here!” Dean handed Gabriel the other gun. “Hold on to this. Nice work with the fireworks out there.”</p><p>“It’s like the 4th of July, baby,” Gabriel said. “Ran into Lafitte out back. The dumb guards there abandoned their post without waiting for backups. Where’s Cas?”</p><p>Dean quickly explained what had happened in a low voice. He could tell that neither of them were happy about Michael being with him, though nothing could be done about it.</p><p>“We figured out the surgery rooms from the backside,” Benny said. “They’re this way. C’mon!”</p><p>Dean followed their lead, watching the rear end. Benny wasn’t wrong, the operation rooms were right there. But they weren’t anything like the ones in hospitals. They were dirty and grimy; disgustingly so. The walls were bathed in old, brown blood and the floor was caked in it. It looked more like the underground torture chambers in gore movies than anything else. Dean felt a chill run down his spine. The stench made him want to barf.</p><p>Benny came to a halt ahead of them. “Dean,” he said in a muted voice. </p><p>It felt like a deja vu from when he had found the holding cells in the left wing as Dean walked by him and looked into the room. Inside, in the middle of the room, next to a trolley of bloody and rusted instruments was a stretcher. Resting on the stretcher with his brown hair drenched in blood was Barry. With each step that Dean took, he could see more of it. The blunt incision at the side of his stomach, roughly sutured, and the bloody cloth draping his body from his stomach down. There was blood everywhere on the floor. Bright and fresh.</p><p>Dean reached out to touch his face. </p><p>“Barry?” he whispered. The voice didn’t sound anything like his own. It was empty and echoed around the room.</p><p>Barry’s half open eyes stared at nothing. Dean reached out with shivering fingers and closed them shut. Then, he collapsed to the floor, face in his hands.</p><p>“Dean, Dean!” </p><p>The voices over him were coming from a distance. It seemed unreal. All of it.</p><p>A hand gripped his shoulders.</p><p>“I had assured him that I would come back for him. And now he’s… he’s… “</p><p>Another pair of hands seized him by his arms and shook him violently. “Snap out of it, damn it!”</p><p>“But he’s dead!” Dean pointed out, unable to move more than a finger. “Look at him. He’s dead.”</p><p>“I know,” Benny whispered urgently. “And he won’t be the only one if you don’t move.”</p><p>“Think about Will,” Gabriel said, his voice subdued. Dean looked up to see that he was crying. “Will needs you.”</p><p>Dean got up on his knees; his whole body was shaking. He didn’t want to think about it, but if Barry was dead…</p><p>“No!” he said out loud. “Will is alright. We’re going to find him.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s my boy,” Benny huffed, hoisting Dean off of the floor, and edging him out of the door. They reached the end of the hall and to the last door. The scene that met his eyes was beyond horrifying. Someone small lay on a raised platform and a man in a white apron was bent over it. Two others were standing around assisting him. Andy and a dark haired man in an expensive looking suit were standing at the edge of the room. The man’s face betrayed no expression. He was simply overlooking what was happening with a passive look. Andy on the other hand looked revolted. </p><p>Dean leaned over just a little further to get a clearer view. Just enough to see the face of the figure laying on the platform. It was Will.</p><p>He didn’t know what came over him, but one minute Dean was standing at the edge of the door, the next he was bounding into the room, thrashing left and right at any obstruction he could see to get to Will. Again, the shock of it all was on his side. Before any of them could react, the two assistants were down on the floor. </p><p>Andy started into action. “What the-” Before he could finish his sentence, Benny had jumped on him, hand to the throat. All of a sudden the room burst into a flurry of action as the dark haired man whipped out a pistol and took shots in the air.</p><p>Out of pure impulse, Dean threw himself in between the man and the platform, shielding Will with his own body. But there was more shooting, and more men poured into the room. At first Dean felt a surge of defeat, assuming them to be the henchmen, but as more and more of them came in, he realised they were uniformed police officers. He turned to face Will, completely blocking out the chaos behind him.</p><p>Will lay on his stomach, his face turned to the side and his eyes closed. He could have been only sleeping if it wasn’t for the long cut at his side. The dirty cloth under him was soaked in his blood. His hair was falling over his eyes and the tiny mole on the left side of his nose. It was really small, and Will had a habit of scratching it when he was nervous. Dean reached out to brush away the hair, leaving a bloody trail on his skin. He looked at his own hands to find they were blood smeared. In fact most of him was, after he had slid into Barry’s blood. </p><p>A logical part of him knew what he should do; check for the pulse, but he simply stood there, not taking his eyes off Will’s face.</p><p>“Dean.”</p><p>The voice came from behind him and it was unexpectedly soft. He felt warm arms envelop him, felt a brush of lips against his temple.</p><p>“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Jody said, sounding heady with relief. </p><p>“Jody,” Dean sniffled, and he realised he was crying. “Will…. Will!”</p><p>“He’s alive,” she said. “Look, he is breathing.”</p><p>Even as Dean turned, to ascertain for himself, a group of EMTs blocked most of his view. He watched one of them tape the wound close and the others gently lifting him on to a gurney. Then they were taking him away.</p><p>Dean struggled against Jody, yanking free of her hold to follow them, but she held on tight.</p><p>“I need to go with him,” he shouted. “Let go!”</p><p>“Only family can ride with the ambulance, Dean,” she said sympathetically. </p><p>“But I need to be with him!”</p><p>“And you will be.” Jody let go of him then. “C’mon. You’ll ride with me.”</p><p>Most of the drive to the hospital was a blur. Jody told him about how the Orphanage was a middle house for the kids. And at the very minute that they were driving, it was being raided by the police for evidence. The suited man was Jacob Styne, and the warehouse had enough paper evidence to convict the whole Styne brood. They had taken into custody everyone present including Andy.</p><p>He barely paid attention to any of it, except what was happening to his friends. Cas was being driven to the hospital as well, so were Benny and Gabriel, where after ascertaining their well-being the police would record their statements. </p><p>By the time they reached the ER, Will had already been taken into the Operation Theater. There was nothing to be done except wait. At some point Dean felt the seat next to him dip and looked up to see Bobby beside him. He flung an arm over Dean’s shoulder, holding close, grounding him to reality. No words were spoken, but Dean was comforted in a way that only a father could.</p><p>When Jody came back, she looked worried. Dean got to his feet immediately.</p><p>“How’s he?”</p><p>She bit her lip. “They didn’t take out his kidney. You got there just in time… But, I don’t want to lie to you, Dean. He’s lost a lot of blood and the doctor is worried.”</p><p>“So get them to pump him up with more blood,” Bobby said, speaking for the first time.</p><p>Jody’s brow furrowed. “It’s not that easy, he has a rare blood group-”</p><p>“Let me help!” Dean said suddenly. “I can give him my blood. We have the same blood group!”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Jody,” Dean said, hurriedly. “Michael said that they were saving Will because he has a rare blood group, AB negative. That’s the same as mine. Ask them to take mine. As much as they need.”</p><p>Jody’s eyes rounded in worry, but she didn’t question Dean over it, and went to speak with the doctor. </p><p>Soon, Dean was put onto a bed. They first tested him, and then when it was confirmed that it was indeed, miraculously the same blood group, they hooked him up to a tube. It was killing Dean to just lie there watching the blood drain. Everyone should be hurrying, they all should be concentrating on saving Will. But it was a hospital. Every patient was just the same to them. And Will was an orphan at that.</p><p>The seconds bled into minutes and then excruciating hours as Dean waited. He was aware when Benny and Gabriel came in, quietly sitting besides him and Bobby, just waiting for the doctor to come out. When she did, all of them stood up at once. </p><p>The doctor lowered her mask and gave them a tentative smile. Then she said the words that actually let Dean breathe again. </p><p>“He’ll be alright,” the doctor said. “He just needs to rest.”</p><p>Dean sat down on the chair again. The relief had knocked out any and all strength that had been holding him up. There were hoots of exultation all around him, but Dean simply let the words seep into his heart. </p><p>
  <em>Will was alright. He was going to be alright.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean sat in the empty waiting room with his head against the wall. It had been the longest night of his life, and he had carried his little brother out of a burning house before on another night. So that was saying something. Bobby had disappeared in the early hours of the morning, mentioning something about getting Dean his stuff back from the Orphanage. He was still in the dirty, blood-crusted clothes from yesterday. In fact, he was so grimy that the hospital staff refused to let him anywhere near Will. He was reduced to waiting in the corner. </p><p>Both Benny and Gabriel had returned back to the orphanage. All the kids were being transferred to some new temp facility in the city, and his friends would have to go with them. One night had brought them all so close that Dean was shocked to realise it was all over now. He would go back to his old life, and they would go back to theirs.</p><p>The look on his face must have been something, because Benny gave him an understanding smile and Gabriel a tired wink. In fact, as they left, Benny even put his arms around him. Dean was so surprised, he barely even returned the hug.</p><p>“Thanks,” Benny had whispered, before waving his hand and walking out of the waiting room with Gabe. </p><p>Sitting by himself, Dean had wondered what the <em>‘thanks’</em> had been about. Benny had done as much as Dean when it came to the events of previous night. Without him, Dean would have probably died there along with the others. So maybe it wasn’t about that. Dean’s thoughts were muddled though. He was tired and numb from the cold, and Bobby wasn’t back with his clothes yet. Even sleep wouldn’t come to him.</p><p>“Can’t sleep, huh? Me neither.”</p><p>Cas was slowly walking towards him, his hand bent at the elbow and wrapped in a thick cast. </p><p>“Cas!” Dean made to get up, but Cas gestured to stay put, and plopped down next to him.</p><p>“Turns out it was more than just the wrist,” Cas said. He was wearing a hospital gown. The sort that ties at the back and it looked funny on him. Any other time, Dean would have laughed at him.</p><p>“Are you okay?” </p><p>Cas shrugged. “Dislocated shoulder, two concussions and yeah a broken wrist. If I forget who you are tomorrow, you’ll know why.”</p><p>“You’d be lucky if you <em>did</em> forget me. It would be like none of this ever happened.”</p><p>With his free arm, Cas smacked him on the shoulder. “Don’t you say that, Dean. Don’t you ever say that I’d want to forget you. This is all <em>because</em> of you!”</p><p>“Exactly my point!” Dean threw up his hands. “If it weren’t for me, Barry would be alive.” <em>There;</em> he had said it. “I failed him.”</p><p>“Are you even listening to yourself?” Cas asked angrily. “If it weren’t for you, not only Barry, but even Will would be dead.” he flinched at having said that out loud. “And countless others. Don’t you see, Dean? You put a stop to all of this!”</p><p>“I didn’t do anything special. You all were there, you all helped last night,” Dean finally burst. “I had been a self centered jackass for most of my time at the orphanage. All I cared for was about finding my brother. If I had started looking into this sooner, maybe we could have saved Barry.”</p><p>“Dean, don’t you see that this could have never been possible without you?” Cas sputtered, exasperated, “If it had been just me, Benny and Gabe, we could have never managed this. You brought something with you that this place had never known.”</p><p>Dean remembered Benny’s whispered thank you again. “What?” </p><p>“Hope!” Cas exhaled. “You brought <em>hope</em> and life and adventure into our lives. Not only did you figure it was Michael, you actually brought the police down on the place. I overheard the nurses talking. They saved a few more kids from the holding cells, and uprooted a massive network of child trafficking.”</p><p>Dean gulped, trying to comprehend. His brain, however, was too tired to grasp the full picture.</p><p>“What about you, Cas?” Dean asked. “Where will you go?”</p><p>Cas shrugged and gave Dean an encouraging smile. “I’m just a few months short of 17. A year after that and I’ll be free. Out of the circuit for good.”</p><p>Dean wanted to complain again about how unfair it was that he got to go back to the comfort of his own bed while his friend had to deal with uncertainty.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me,” Cas reassured him. “We made the national news, apparently. They’ll have to take good care of us now. Besides, it’s just one year anyway.”</p><p>“What about Michael and the others?”</p><p>A shadow fell over Cas’s face and Dean immediately regretted asking the question. </p><p>“Michael’s already in custody. He’s not 18 yet, just a few months short, so they’re holding him at the juvie. About the others, everyone suspected is being questioned. We’ll know when they’ll know, I suppose.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry about this, Cas,” Dean said sincerely. “I know he was your family, and he did save your life tonight.”</p><p>Cas just shook his head. “I don’t know how to feel about any of this yet, with time maybe I’ll understand, but don’t feel sorry for me. Especially not you, because you taught me what family really means!”</p><p>“I did?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Cas said, his eyes fierce. “Look at all that you were doing to find your brother. Hell, look at what you did for Will. He’s alive because of you. That’s what family does. Good for each other.”</p><p>Cas had just called Will his family. But was he? The thought was like a stab in Dean’s chest.</p><p>“Maybe one day, years from now, we’ll be able to look back on today and make sense of things.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Dean agreed. Everything hurt right now. It hurt to think about Barry. A small selfish part within him was thankful that Will was safe. He was angry and sad and bone tired, but also relieved and in awe of the magnanimity of the situation. Had they really managed to take down the Stynes? Cas’s words hinted at a vague future where they weren’t kids in an orphanage anymore. But they were still friends. A future where they could laugh about the past, when Dean used to kick Cas’s bunk from underneath because he just wouldn’t stop moving. Or when they used to walk back from school together and take bets about what would be served for dinner. That future seemed far away. However, the quiet confidence in Cas’s voice made Dean look forward to it.</p><p>Dean leaned against his friend. And together they sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts as the sun steadily rose higher and higher.</p><hr/><p>“Kid? Hey, kid?” </p><p>Dean jerked awake to see a nurse standing over him looking annoyed.</p><p>Dean blinked up at him groggily. He had fallen asleep in one of those chairs after a shower and change of fresh clothes. He could see through the blinders that the sky outside was dark and the lights inside were extra bright. Had he slept here the whole day? That explained the stiff back and the horrible pain in his shoulders.</p><p>“Your name’s Dean?” The nurse asked.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“That kid in 205 is asking for you.”</p><p>Dean jumped out of the chair. “Will’s awake?”</p><p>The nurse gave him a look that seemed to question his mental ability. “Yeah. You’re going, right?”</p><p>“Yes, yes.”</p><p>Dean dashed across the waiting hall and into the room.</p><p>Will was sitting up right, looking small in the huge bed. His lashes were wet and a steady stream of tears were making their way down his cheeks. He saw Dean and broke down in huge sobs. Before Dean realised that he was doing it, he had his arms around Will. </p><p>“D-Dean…”he sniffed. “Barry.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Dean said, running his palm up and down Will’s side. “I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry.” <em>Sorry that I couldn’t save Barry. Sorry that you lost your best friend. Sorry that I can’t ease your pain. Sorry for everything.</em></p><p>Will held on, quietly crying into Dean’s shoulder, blubbering about how Barry was dead even before they had reached the barnhouse. Dean didn’t know how to feel about that. Those bastards had cut him open even then, knowing that he was dead, out of pure greed. But that also meant that he had passed away from the head trauma. There was nothing that they could have really done to save him.</p><p>He tried to console Will to the best of his abilities. “Think about when all this is over, you’ll be at a new school, and you’ll have a family. They’ll be here by the end of the week for you.”</p><p>Will’s fingers just clutched at his shirt. “I’m just glad you’re here right now, I didn’t know if you were going to be; but you are!”</p><p>“Of course I’m there!” Dean said. He silenced the small voice in the back of his head that seemed to ask, <em>‘for how long?’</em></p><p>It seemed to Dean that he held on to Will for a long time, till the wracks subsided into soft snores. He gently laid down Will’s head onto the pillow, then slowly backed out of the room. When he turned, he saw Bobby standing by the door, a peculiar look in his eyes.</p><p>“Got you dinner,” he said.</p><p>Once outside, Dean took the food from him gratefully. Now that he was paying attention to it, his stomach seemed shrunk because of hunger. Bobby had never been the sort to monitor Dean’s meals, or rush after him with cookies and milk in the morning. Food was just food. There was always some of it at the house. If Dean was hungry, he knew enough to look for it in the kitchen.</p><p>He pulled out the burger from the paper bag and dove into it. He hadn’t eaten a damn thing in over twenty four hours, unless the glucose that they put into him after the blood donation counted.</p><p>“How’re you doing, kid?” Bobby asked, eyes slightly narrowed.</p><p>Dean shrugged, trying to lick the remnants of the burger from his fingers. Good thing there was another one in the bag.</p><p>Bobby cleared his throat. “You know, Jody and I are really proud of you. We were worried out of our minds, but proud.”</p><p>Why did Bobby have to do that? He knew that both of them sucked at all this heart to heart stuff, and now Dean felt like something was stuck in his throat. But Bobby was clearly leading somewhere with this. So he waited.</p><p>Strangely, Bobby completely changed the track, “You’re really close to that kid in there, aren’t you?”</p><p>Dean wanted to roll his eyes. Sometimes Bobby really had a knack for stating the obvious. Dean had thrown a fit when Bobby had asked him to come back to the motel with him, absolutely refusing to leave. Even the police had to take his statement there.</p><p>“Yeah, we’re close,” Dean said, then realised that his knack was probably ‘understatements.’ The feeling of something being stuck in his throat wasn’t going away. And now the corners of his eyes were beginning to sting. </p><p>“Bobby,” Dean said thickly. “I’ve never really asked for anything from you.”</p><p>Bobby grinned. “Yeah, you’ve been a good kid.”</p><p>Dean didn’t return the smile. He looked down at his feet, then said, “What I’m going to ask now is much, much bigger than what you signed up for when you took me in. It is impulsive and crazy on so many levels. And I know if I didn’t ask… didn’t beg, the <em>‘what if’</em> would kill me.”</p><p>He felt Bobby’s hand land on his shoulder, and Dean looked up into his blue eyes. “You know you only have to ask, son.”</p><hr/><p>“Look, what I have for you!” Dean announced stepping into room no. 205. </p><p>Will was sitting propped up against the bed, nibbling at a piece of apple, staring absently out of the window. He jerked upright at Dean’s voice, eyes expectant. One side of his mouth quirked up a little. </p><p>It was a small thing, but this was the first time something even resembling a smile had crossed his face.</p><p>It had been three days now since Will had regained his consciousness. He had been fully made aware of everything that had happened. In return, Will had told the police his side of the story, and while doing so, he had steadfastly held on to Dean’s hand under the rug, like he was drawing his strength from it. That had only reinforced Dean’s resolve regarding what he was about to do… about to ask.</p><p>“Here,” he said, pulling out the packed bowl. “Chicken soup. You love that stuff, don’t you?”</p><p>They used to make a disgusting, watered down version of it at the Orphanage every once in a while. Will’s mood was always exceptional on those days. He would whistle and smile more.</p><p>Dean could use that smile today.</p><p>Will’s eyes widened. “You remembered!” he said, staring at the steaming bowl with wide eyes.</p><p>Dean ruffled Will’s hair, then settled the bowl before him on the tiny  table. “Course I did.”</p><p>He watched as Will scarfed down the soup. The past days had been hard for him. The incision was deep, and though the doctor never actually cut the kidney out, there were complications that required complete bed rest. Will had suspected that something was wrong the moment Andy had dragged him out of the Orphanage. He had yelled and called out but there was no one to listen to him, help him. The image kept Dean awake at night… he had woken up in cold sweat imagining Will crying out for him.</p><p>At least, it was short lived. Andy had sedated him before they had reached the warehouse. Even the thought of Andy made Dean want to punch something. Jody told him that they were doing everything to indict him in as many cases as they could. He was spending the rest of his life in prison just like Stynes and everyone involved. Dean hoped it was in the worst prison in Texas.</p><p>“Dean?” </p><p>He looked up to see Will staring at him with those big hazel eyes. </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Thank you.” It was quiet, heartfelt.</p><p>Dean shrugged. “It’s nothing. The diner is right around the corner.”</p><p><em>“Dean.”</em> Will said again, with more gravity to his voice. “Thank you for saving my life. The doctor told me what you did. He said, if it hadn’t been for you, I’d have died thrice over.”</p><p>“He didn’t say that!” Dean gasped.</p><p>Will smirked, “No, he didn’t say that last part, but you get the gist.” Will wouldn’t meet his eyes.</p><p>“Hey!” Dean said. “You weren’t going to die. I would have never let that happen. Besides, you aren’t getting rid of me that easily.”</p><p>“It’s just till the end of the week. You’ll get rid of me then,” Will muttered, looking at his lap. “The Kensingtons will be here by Sunday.”</p><p>“Will,” Dean said. His heart was pounding against his ribcage, or in his throat. He didn’t know which of the two it was. In fact, his whole body felt out of sync.</p><p>“Will,” he said again. “Do you… do you want to come live with me?”</p><p>Will visibly caught his breath. “What?”</p><p>“I-I know it won’t be anything like living with the Kensingtons in New York. The house in Sioux Falls is old and the floorboards creak like zombies are walking around at night, but the backyard is huge, and there’s so many cars there. I could teach you how to jack them. The summers are the worst, but when it rains, the mud smells so good…” Dean knew he was rambling, but now that he was talking, he just couldn’t stop.</p><p>“… The school is just your usual rundown place. It’s not anything special, like that Fancy school for gifted children in Manhattan, but it is much, much better than the last one. They have an advanced program there-”</p><p>“How?” Will cut him short. “How’s that possible?” </p><p>“I’ve talked to Bobby. He is okay with adopting you, too. You’re almost twelve, so legally you can choose to terminate the Kensingtons adoption since it isn’t completely through yet. It’ll be tricky, but Jody said it was possible…”</p><p>Bobby had been weirdly okay with it. Dean had been sure that he’d have to argue with Bobby over this, but Bobby had listened to him and agreed without a condition. The only question he had asked: “What about Sam?”</p><p>
  <em>Dean gulped. “What about him?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You know what I think about your hunt for Sam,” Bobby said. “And you’ve never listened to me. So are you going to stop looking for him now?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Yes,” Dean said slowly. “</em>I <em>am going to stop looking for him, but I’m not giving up on him. Now that all the files from the orphanage have been seized as evidence, the PD will look at them with a fresh set of eyes. And even if they don’t find Sam’s file, we can always file a fresh missing complaint or even ask them to reopen the old one. Maybe all the trails haven’t gone cold.”</em></p><p>
  <em>He let out a deep breath. “You were right all along, Bobby. I was using Sam as an excuse, as a mirage, something to hold on to when things got rough. But in reality, he is just a kid I don’t know anything about. Everything that’s happened made me realise one thing. I was so hung up on Sam that I ignored everything else. Any of these kids could have been someone’s Sam. It doesn’t mean that they are less important. There’s just no one looking out for them.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bobby’s eyes crinkled at the edges and he unexpectedly smiled. “You grew up too soon, Dean. I was just worried that you were somehow replacing Sam with Will. That you were in denial and overcompensating. Because that wouldn’t have been fair to him. Now I know that’s clearly not the case.” Bobby cleared his throat, then said, “Does he know?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean shook his head. “I had to know if you were up for it first. I know it’s a lot to ask…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh don’t go showing gratitude now, you idjit!” Bobby scoffed. “If you’re that grateful, pitch into the housework, and clean that damn room of yours. I ain’t shoving this poor kid in there with your clothes hanging off the rack.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean was so relieved that his laugh came out as a gurgled cough.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t know if I’m being selfish here,” Dean admitted. “I mean he has a shot at a great life with those uber rich people from upstate NY. What if I’m ruining his life because I want him with me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“First of all,” Bobby said, “You’re not gonna be forcing him. It’s Will’s choice where he wants to go. Second of all, money can’t make someone’s life! It can bring him opportunities, but that’s about that. What he makes out of them is his own doing. He was doing plenty well at school even in that dastardly boy’s home. And lastly, you’ll love him enough to last him more than one lifetime. I don’t think the pretty rich folks can give him that. It’s all that he needs right now. Love and family.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean nodded, glad that he had Bobby in his life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t worry about it, Dean. He’ll be just fine. And if Sam shows up,” he said, that peculiar look back in his eyes. “We’ll have a place for him, too.”</em>
</p><p>Now, Will asked the same question. “What about your brother? What happens if you get Sam back?” His voice was quivering.</p><p>“Nothing happens,” Dean said, placing a hand over Will’s. “The police will keep looking for him, just like they’d keep looking for any other missing person, and I’ll stay with you.”</p><p>“I-I don’t understand.” Will had gone completely still. “You had been so obsessed with finding him all this time, and now suddenly you’re all okay? And what? You want Bobby to adopt me? I- I can’t fill in for your brother.”</p><p>Dean tightened his grip. “Don’t you see it, Will? You aren’t filling my expectations of Sam. In fact, if I actually ever find him, he’ll have a tough time living up to you. No kid can be as smart and kind as you are. I’m scared that I won’t even think of him as a brother the way I think of you!”</p><p>“Brother?” Will’s eyes that had gone round were starting to fill up now. </p><p>Seriously, for an olympiad winning kid, Will could be really dense sometimes.</p><p>Dean lowered himself slightly so he was at Will’s level. “When I saw them put you on that gurney back at the warehouse and load you into that ambulance, I realised I would rather have you than an<em> idea of Sam</em>. You’ve been more of a brother to me than Sam ever has been. So, what do you say, bud?”</p><p>Will just stared mutely.</p><p>Dean stared back resolutely. “It’s not a huge house like the Kensingtons but Bobby and Jody are good people. They’ll look after you well and there’s always going to be me. I promise I’ll never let anything bad happen to you ever again. With the wedding in the fall, there’ll be even less room and you’ll probably have to share the bedroom with me-”</p><p>“Yes!” Will exhaled, like he had broken free of something invisible that was strangling him. “Yes, I want to come with you. God, yes.”</p><p>“Really?” Dean couldn’t believe his ears.</p><p>Will did not reassure him again. He dove right at Dean. “I can’t believe this is really happening,” he whispered. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”</p><p>Dean held on to Will, who was shivering in his arms. </p><p>“Then that’s all I need to know,” Dean said. Maybe it was wrong to feel this way after everything they had been through, all that they had lost, but Dean felt complete. Whole. Like things were going to end well after all. He tried not to dream of all the little scenarios. How they could work on the cars together or play games on the crappy console he had stashed in his room. But try as he may, each scene just spread itself out in his mind. Will smiling, eating a proper breakfast on a proper dining table and acing classes in school. Dean was <em>already</em> proud.</p><p>“Will,” he said, heart full of joy. “You’re stuck with me.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“All your stuff is in here,” Dean said, putting the bag on the counter. “Your clothes, books, and everything else.”</p><p>The last thing Dean had wanted to do was to go back to the Orphanage, especially now that there was no one there. Better him than Will, though. Which was why he had made up his mind and asked Bobby to make the detour. The place looked haunted, now that it was completely empty, save for the few cops doing rounds and working on the evidence.</p><p>Shuffling through Will’s things had made him realise how impersonal all of them were. Most of his clothes were used and donated ones. The five pairs of clothes, including those that he slept in, did not fit him well. The majority of the trunk under his bed was just books- Old, yellowed and tattering books. </p><p>Dean had been staring out of the window lost in thought when Bobby made a pit stop outside a shopping centre. </p><p>“We have to get something his size for the kid. He can’t step out of the hospital tomorrow in these clothes.”</p><p>Dean had to admit; Bobby had been pretty awesome about the whole deal. It had been all trial and error when it had come to raising Dean, but now he knew what he was doing. Will had thanked both Bobby and Jody profusely for wanting to adopt him, and it had taken some convincing to get it through his head that it wasn’t charity or a favour. They <em>really</em> wanted him to be a part of their family.</p><p>Convincing him had been mostly easy. The hard part was the Kensingtons. They weren’t willing to let go of Will and were ready to get dirty about it. With all the drama, child services had stepped in. It wasn’t like the Kensingtons could drag Will away with them, but this meant a substantial delay till the paperwork was sorted. Will was stuck here, and Dean wasn’t going to leave him alone in all this. It meant renting a cheap motel for the month. But hey, it was still a million times better than the orphanage.</p><p>Presently, Will blinked at the bag. “You went back to <em>that</em> place?” </p><p>He could walk now and manage to do most things by himself. </p><p>“Sure! Here, try this one on,” Dean said, throwing the new t-shirt on the bed. It was black and had ‘π-rate’ printed on it next to the face of an eye-patch wearing bearded man. “We picked this for you on our way here. See if it fits. There’s a few more inside the bag.”</p><p>Will stared at the t-shirt like it was something alien and the expression tugged at something inside Dean.</p><p>It was the little things that broke Dean’s heart. Before, he wouldn’t have cared about getting a new shirt, but all this was so new for Will. No one had ever bought him anything; something specially for him and completely his. </p><p>This was just the first of many, and Dean was going to be there for all the rest. </p><p>It was still subduing to walk Will to the temp centre at Child services. It was a comfortable place, and Dean had promised Will that he would be here as much as he could. Though Will still looked morose going in, like he was doubtful his happiness was lasting. </p><p>That night, Dean couldn’t get much sleep between nightmares of Will calling out to him as Andy dragged him into the car and cries of baby Sam when Dean had carried him out of their burning house. He spent the whole night tossing and turning, then woke up late in the morning. It was already too bright outside the window when Dean sat up groggily. Beside him, Bobby’s bed was empty.</p><p>He checked the clock. 10:17. Dammit!</p><p>What would Will think? Dean had promised to be there early in the morning and now even Bobby had disappeared to some place.</p><p>So he did all he could. He washed himself and got dressed for the day, then paced around the room waiting for Bobby, fixing the tiny messes in the room, like empty food bags and burger wrappers. Eventually Dean found himself back on his bed, his bags emptied on the covers. </p><p>God, there was so much mess.</p><p>He should have cleaned his trunk at least once when he had been living in the dorm, because now there was a gross mouldy half eaten bagel there that he didn’t even remember having touched. Ever.</p><p>He hadn’t added anything to what he had left with from Sioux Falls, except some school books. Underneath the pile of clothes, his hand hit something solid. Slowly, Dean pulled out the long rosewood box that Bobby had given him. In all the crazy mess, he had never had the time to actually go through it.</p><p>Dean opened it cautiously. The contents had of course remained unchanged, though he was stuck by the power of them all the same. He ran his fingers lightly over the baby angel, and the silver charm bracelet. Maybe it had belonged to his mother, maybe it was an anniversary gift from his dad. The small folding knife was jammed at first, but when Dean pried it open, it gleamed wicked sharp. The inside was etched with H.W. Maybe it had belonged to some long lost family member. Each of the objects was a ‘maybe,’ a story in itself. A story which Dean would never know.</p><p>He turned to the black and white pictures, especially to the one where his mom was holding him from behind. If Dean hadn’t known for sure that it was in fact him and his mom, he’d have never believed it. For one, he was smiling too widely. He didn’t ever remember smiling so much, even as a kid, and secondly, mom was beautiful. She was so beautiful. Her eyes were so full of love, that it hurt to look at her, and then it hurt to look away.</p><p>If Dean was being completely honest, this was why he had never opened the box again. He couldn’t look at those memories without feeling this ache in his chest. He flipped through the pictures. His parents in front of their car, his dad holding a huge fish, laughing with a friend. His mom kissing baby Sam on the forehead, while small Dean was looking at his little brother. The baby’s hand was tightly wrapped around Dean’s finger. Like he was holding on to something important.</p><p>Dean sighed. </p><p>What would his mom think of him now? Would she be disappointed in him that he had stopped looking for Sam? Stopped looking for her baby?</p><p>If he closed his eyes and concentrated really hard, he could almost hear her voice, humming the notes of <em>‘Hey, Jude.’</em></p><p>Dean looked at the picture again. She was just so beautiful, and the baby was so happy. Little Sam’s face was turned towards the camera. The hand not holding Dean’s finger was fisted and turned towards the camera, a dimpled smile on his face. His mother’s face was looming right above his, her lips hovering over the tiny black spot next to his nose… The spot was just like…</p><p><em>“Shit!”</em> Dean swore, jumping out of his bed, his things tumbling onto the floor.</p><p>“Shit shit shit,” he swore, shoving the picture in his pocket and hurriedly pulling on his shoes.</p><p>The door opened and Bobby came in. He had the weirdest smile plastered to his face. Another time, Dean would have called it creepy and laughed over it. </p><p>Today, he ran to Bobby and grabbed him by the arm.</p><p>“Bobby! You won’t freaking believe this!” He yanked the photo out of his pocket and shoved it in Bobby’s face, “Look! He has a mole next to his nose. That’s exactly where-”</p><p>“Will has it,” Bobby completed, the grin on his face stretching further.</p><p><em>What was happening?</em> Dean felt his breath coming up short and he sat down at the edge of his bed, feeling faint from either excitement or fear that this was all just a dream.</p><p>Bobby pulled out an envelope from his back pocket and handed it to Dean. “You might want to take a look at this.”</p><p>Dean’s fingers trembled as he reached out and took the envelope. Inside was a medical paper of some sort. He could spot his name on it, but most of it was gibberish to him in the keyed up state of his brain.</p><p>“What’s this?” he asked, waving the paper around.</p><p>“It’s a DNA test,” Bobby said. “It proves that Will really is your brother.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Bobby sat down next to him. “I asked the doctor to run it right after they operated Will. I mean it was a crazy coincidence that your blood group matched. And that’s one hell of a rare blood group in America. Did it not occur to you that it might mean something more?”</p><p>Dean was too shocked to react.</p><p>“That, and his eyes are shaped exactly like John’s. You didn’t spend that long with your old man, but for me, it was hard to miss.” Bobby shrugged. “I didn’t want to tell you before I got the results and knew for sure.”</p><p>“He’s really Sam. He’s really my Sammy, isn’t he?” Dean whispered wonderingly. The burst of energy that had come to him had all dissipated just as suddenly. He was cold and clammy. “He was right in front of me all along.”</p><p>“This means one other thing.” Bobby looked at him sideways. “The Kensingtons have no case now. Nobody is taking him away.”</p><p>And then Dean was crying in his hands. Years and years of exhaustion, worry and fear just ebbing away. This was unbelievable; too good to be true. </p><p>Bobby put an arm around him, and it felt right. Of course Will was Sam. Of course he belonged.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s go tell your brother,”</p><hr/><p>Will had been waiting for them in the lobby of the Child welfare Centre, nervously pacing as if he was scared that Dean wouldn’t show.</p><p>When he saw them, the relief spread quickly through his features before morphing into annoyance.“Where were you?” He demanded. “You’re an hour late.”</p><p>Dean didn’t retort like he usually would have. He simply couldn’t stop looking at his brother. <em>His brother.</em></p><p>“I have something for you,” he said quietly.</p><p>Will scowled. “Don’t think you can get out of keeping me waiting by buying me a cool t-shirt or something!” But the anger was already leaving. “And you’re looking at me weirdly. Why’re you looking at me weirdly?”</p><p>“Here,” Dean pulled out the picture. “Take this.”</p><p>Will took it, then gave him a puzzled look. </p><p>“That’s me,” Dean pointed out. “And this is mom.”</p><p>Will’s eyes glazed over and a small smile tugged at his lips. “She loves you. I can tell,” he said. It was quite obvious from the picture. “Is this Sam?” </p><p>Dean put his finger on the baby. “This right here,” he took a deep breath. “This right here is you.”</p><p>Will looked up startled. “Dean!”</p><p>“It really is you. Look, look at that mole. It’s exactly where you have it.”</p><p>Will shook his head, eyes wide, like he was scared of believing.</p><p>Dean took hold of Will’s hand and thrust the DNA report in it. “Here, take this. It’s a DNA report.” In low voices they quickly explained to Will what Bobby had told him at the motel.</p><p>“All that time in the record room, all those nights, we were looking for <em>me?</em>” His voice was strangled.</p><p>“Yes, Will. Yes.”</p><p>Will was staring hungrily at the picture now, as if he couldn’t get enough of it. His eyes lingered on their mom and then where his tiny palm was wrapped around Dean’s pinkie finger.</p><p>He gave Dean one disbelieving watery look and then flung his arms Dean’s waist, burying his face in the front of Dean’s shirt.</p><p>Dean gave a watery laugh himself. “So I guess you really are stuck with me now, huh, little brother?”</p><p>Will gave a sob.</p><p>“Sure you don’t want to run away with those rich ass Kensingtons?” Dean said it mostly as a joke, but the apprehension was still there underneath it all. </p><p>Will shook his head. “They wouldn’t have wanted me if I wasn’t some sort of protege or whatever they were calling it. You… you wanted me even when I was nothing… when I wasn’t even your brother…”</p><p>He sniffled. “I don’t want any of it. I want you.”</p><p>“Yeah, alright now… hush,“ Dean said, rolling his eyes to stop the tears. “Don’t go wiping your snot on my clothes. That’s <em>still</em> not allowed.”</p><p>Will snorted amidst the waterworks and Bobby handed him a bottle of water. It took a while to calm him enough to talk without hiccuping.</p><p>Bobby had gone to handle the paperwork with the Child services. They were heading to the precinct next to clear the formalities and were taking Will with them.</p><p>“Hey,” Dean said softly. Will, who was leaning against him, jerked a bit. All the crying had exhausted him. Dean worried that the emotional and physical strain was messing with him. </p><p>“What do you wanna be called?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Will sat up straight in his chair facing Dean.</p><p>“I mean you can go by ‘Will’ or ‘Sam,” whatever you want.</p><p>Will was quiet.</p><p>“You can take time to think about it,” Dean suggested</p><p>He shook his head. “Sam. I wanna go by Sam.”</p><p>“What? Don’t you want to think about it?”</p><p>“No, I don’t,” he said. “I can come out and say this now, but I was a bit jealous of the way you talked about Sam… the longing when you said the name. It meant something to someone.” he hesitated. “Mom… and dad… this meant something to them. ‘Will’ is probably just a lottery name or the matron just loved Shakespeare too much.”</p><p>“But it has been your identity for so long,” Dean said gently. “You don’t have to give it up just because you found out your real name.”</p><p>“It’s not it,” Will said. “I want to be Sam Winchester.”</p><p>Dean caught his breath. Sam Winchester. It felt like such a big name for such a small boy.</p><p>“Alright then,” Dean said. “Sammy,’ it is!”</p><p>Will’s… <em>Sam’s</em> eyebrow quirked up. “I agreed to ‘Sam,’ not ‘Sammy!”</p><p>“Yeah whatever, Sammy,” Dean grinned.</p><p>“Sammy’ sounds like a five year olds name!”</p><p>“You can whine all you want. I ain’t gonna stop calling you that.”</p><p>Sam huffed, then crossed his arms. Dean could see he was trying hard to not laugh. “Fine. But you’re the only one who gets to call me that.”</p><p>Dean smirked.</p><p>“Boys!” Bobby had appeared at the far end of the lobby. He was already carrying Sam’s bags, gesturing to them to hurry up. “C’mon! Time to go.”</p><p>Both of them slid down from the chairs, standing besides each other.</p><p>“You ready?” Dean asked.</p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p>“Let’s go home, Sammy.”</p><p>With that they both walked out into the evening sun. Neither of them turned to look back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>One year later</b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>11th September 1995</em> </b>
</p><p>“You idjits!” Bobby yelled. “You two had one job!”</p><p>Dean came running around the corner hoping that his face wasn’t too red, or hair too messy. The one time he got lucky with Jessie Rosenberg, Bobby had to yell for him.</p><p>“What now?” He asked, crossly.</p><p>“Look at the fascia,” Bobby pointed. “I asked you to fix that thing two weeks ago. Does it look fixed to you?”</p><p>“Sam had exams! He barely pulled his head out of the books!”</p><p>“And you could have fixed it by yourself.”</p><p>Dean looked at the front yard. The tables and pretty lights hanging over the trees transformed it into something completely else. There were frilly table cloths and blooming, pale roses. Even the cars had disappeared. There were so many people milling around in pretty dresses and buttoned up suits. Looking at that no one would be able to tell most of them were cops. And none of those cops were inspecting the case of disrepaired fascia boards.</p><p>“C’mon, Bobby,” Dean said. “It’s your wedding. Shouldn’t you be dancing with your wife instead of yelling at unsuspecting boys? You don’t even care about awnings and fascia!”</p><p>Bobby wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He was actually looking a bit funny without the usual baseball cap and the jacket. Though Dean couldn’t say the formal suit look didn’t suit him. He was just not used to seeing it.</p><p>Bobby sat down on the porch steps. “Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I’m just nervous.”</p><p>Dean sat down besides him. “Why’re you <em>nervous?</em>  I mean you’ve known Jody forever.”</p><p>Bobby made a disgruntled noise. “It’s not that. Everything is moving so fast. You’ll be seventeen in a few months and then Sam will grow up, too. I’ve just gotten so used to you boys being around. Who knows what’s next. College? You both will move on.”</p><p>“Oh, come on!” Dean groaned. “Don’t go all sappy on me now. Not you, too!”</p><p>“Who else?” Bobby raised his eyebrow.</p><p>“Sam,” Dean sighed. “He’s having one of those days again.”</p><p><em>‘One of those days’</em> was the term Dean and Bobby used to describe Sam’s mood when he felt overwhelmed. During the first week, after Sam had moved in with them, little things startled him. Like how there were no restrictions about bedtime, or how he could choose what food he wanted, and when he wanted to eat. On the first Sunday, Jody surprised them all with movie tickets; Sam was quiet the whole way because he had never been to movies before. The next day they went out to eat. That was a rare phenomenon anyway, but Jody wanted to get to know Sam. Even there he hadn’t talked, barely eaten anything.</p><p>That night Dean had found him sitting on the roof.</p><p>
  <em>“You know that Bobby would butcher you if he found you freezing your ass out in the cold, right?” Dean asked, easing himself down on the tiled roof. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m being a shithead, aren’t I?” Sam said, hiding his face in his arms where they were resting over his knees. “Jody was being so nice, and I just… I screwed up everything.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You didn’t screw up shit,” Dean said firmly. “Jody is a lot tougher than you think. You didn’t hurt her feelings. Hell, you should have seen when she was getting to know me…. That was what being a shithead is like.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What did you do?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The usual. Threw bitchy tantrums, punctured her car and all that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No you didn’t!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The incredulous look on Sam’s face was hilarious. It was still taking some getting used to; thinking of him as Sam and not Will.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean put his hands out, gesturing a ‘yours truly.’ “Yeah, it was a total dick move. It didn’t phase her in the slightest.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mhmm…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t worry about it so much, Sam,” Dean said. “We know this is hard for you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sam leaned back against the tiles, staring into the night sky. “You can actually see the stars from down here.,” he said wonderingly. “See that? That’s the first star of the constellation Orion.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I suck at stars,” Dean said, leaning back next to his brother. “You’ll have to tell me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They lay like that for a long time, Sam talking avidly about all the constellations he knew of, and Dean pretending that he did not.</em>
</p><p>Bobby gazed ahead into the yard, where Jody was laughing with Sam. He was dressed just like Dean in a matching tux; for the two groomsmen. Bobby’s eyes softened. “That kid really is something. Anyone would have lost their goddamned gourd after going through all that,” Bobby said.</p><p>It was an understatement. Sam had become the apple of every teacher’s eye. He aced his classes effortlessly and the town people just loved him. The little, stupid ray of sunshine that he was. </p><p>“C’mon.” Bobby said, a twinkle in his eye. “I’ve got something for you kids.”</p><p>“What?” Dean asked, getting up.</p><p>“Just c’mon.”</p><p>Ten minutes later, the four of them, Him, Sam, Bobby and Jody were walking towards the very back of the house. Jody was practically bouncing on her feet which was so uncharacteristic of her.</p><p>Sam gave Dean a <em>‘What’s happening?’ </em>look.</p><p>Dean shrugged. He didn’t know either.</p><p>“Hey, Bobby, quick question,” Dean said casually. “Are you two gonna bury us in a corner of the property? Cause this sure looks like it.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure, smartass,” Jody grinned at him. “I’ll make sure no one finds the bodies.”</p><p>Most of the cars had been parked out here, clearing the front yard. Only one car stood out, parked separately. She was so sleek and slender, the black metal almost purred.</p><p>“Holy shit!” Dean whistled. “What in name of…”</p><p>“It’s yours!” Bobby smiled widely. “It’s a 1967, Chevy Impala.”</p><p>“Wait!” Dean said, the realisation suddenly hitting him. “This car is from that picture. The one with mom and dad.”</p><p>“It belonged to your dad. He called her baby.”</p><p>Dean looked at Sam who had the same awed expression on his face.</p><p>“Where was it all these years?” Sam asked.</p><p>“Parked at Rufus’,” Bobby said. “Been working on it as and when the money and time came by. I wanted it done before the wedding. He drove it back today.”</p><p>Dean ran his fingers along the side of her, and the car seemed to respond to his touch… hummed under it.</p><p>Bobby held out a set of keys. “What’re you waiting for? Don’t you boys wanna take her out for a ride?”</p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>2nd November 1995</em> </b>
</p><p>It was a clear day. The sky was blue like in one of those vacation postcards. The engine was purring underneath him and a Led Zeppelin song was playing inside his car. Dean rolled the windows down, the air whipped Sam’s hair all over his face. He made a protesting sound and Dean chuckled.</p><p>This was perfect.</p><p>“You sure this was a good idea? Not the trip,” Sam said quickly. “Just sneaking out like this without telling Bobby?” </p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. Sam was ever the responsible one. </p><p>“Bobby will be fine. We’re almost there; and if we stick to the plan, we should be back home for dinner, and no one will be wiser.</p><p>Sam huffed. “I miss Cas when you get like this. He was the only one who could get you to listen.”</p><p>“Don’t you want to go?”</p><p>“Course I do. You know I asked for this!” Sam muttered.</p><p>Dean missed Cas anyway. Thinking about his best friend made Dean smile. Because of what he had accomplished- helped with exposing the trafficking racket- the state had given him a medal of valour, along with Benny and Gabriel. Deny had detached himself from the proceedings, asking Jody to never mention him in the official records. He wasn’t interested in medals and accolades. He had walked away with a miracle of his own.</p><p>The mayor, wanting to bask in the borrowed glory, had funded Cas’s education in a private boarding school for his last year of high school. From there, Cas had managed a full ride into the University of Texas. Benny had opted out to get a job under some chef… who knew he had that talent? And Gabriel was in the wind. Dean didn’t worry about Gabe, though. He would eventually surface as a millionaire in some years for all Dean knew.</p><p>Thinking about them always brought up bad memories along with the nostalgia. Memories about Andy and the Stynes. It was little comfort knowing that they had been put away for life… they deserved much, much worse. Dean was hopeful that other states might press more severe charges on the Stynes. </p><p>Despite what it had looked like, it turned out that Michael had been the only one who knew. His cronies had no clue what their dear leader had been upto. Dean couldn’t care less about what happened to Gary and others as long as he never saw their faces again. Michael had been tried as a juvenile, and the DA had asked for a reduced sentence on the grounds that he was the one who had finally led them to the warehouse. He would serve 3 years in confinement. Even after all this time, Dean didn’t know what to feel about Michael. He tried not to think about it much.</p><p>Cas though, called them at least once a week. More, if he could manage. He and Sam had road tripped to the University in the fall and spent a week with him. Cas had been ecstatic. Dean wasn’t surprised to know that his friend was majoring in sociology and behavioral sciences. If anything, he was proud. Cas would be spending the winter break with them in Sioux falls. Bobby had been cranky about having to repair their guest room, but Dean secretly knew he was happy for them all.</p><p>“We’re here!” Dean said, as they crossed into the town. Sam stared out of the window, palms flat against the glass.</p><p>Dean made a few stops to ask for directions, and then they were parked along the edge of the sidewalk.</p><p>“You sure you’re up for this?” Dean asked apprehensively. Nevermind that he was feeling heavy inside, he couldn’t let his brother see that.</p><p>Sam bit his lip, then nodded resolutely. “Yeah. Let’s go.” </p><p>They stepped out of the car, and Dean wrapped his arm over his brother’s shoulder. He’d  gained a couple of inches during the summer, so Sam was both much shorter than him, and mad about it. ‘I’m gonna grow taller than you, one day,’ he’d say.</p><p>Dean didn’t know exactly where they were, so he and Sam walked together, searching and reading.</p><p>“Dean,” Sam said in a small voice. “They’re here.”</p><p>The headstones were laid side by side.</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Mary Winchester</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>5th December 1954 - 2nd November 1983</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Loving Mother and loving wife</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>And</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>John Winchester</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>22nd April 1954 - 2nd Novemeber 1983</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Loving Father and loving husband</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Dean tightened his grip on Sam’s shoulder. </p><p>“I think they would be proud of you,” Sam said, not taking his eyes away from the plain grey stones. They had weathered with rain and time, the writing had blackened over the years.</p><p>“Hey, you’re the smart one,” Dean said. The corner of his eyes were prickling. “If anything, they’d have been proud of you.”</p><p>Sam shook his head ever so slightly in disagreement. “You saved my life. Twice. You found me and kept our family going. You’re a freaking hero.”</p><p>Dean blinked his eyes in succession. He didn’t dispute Sam’s words. Not because he believed them, but because he didn’t trust his voice to be steady. He hadn’t even thought of getting flowers.</p><p>“You think we should say something?”</p><p>Dean shrugged, he didn’t know what to say and he was bad with words.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll go first,” Sam said, then kneeled by their mom’s grave.</p><p>“Hey, mom. Hey, dad,” he said in that soft voice of his. “It’s me, Samuel William Winchester. Though Dean just calls me ‘Sammy.’ It’s annoying. He’s annoying!” Sam laughed nervously, like he was afraid of what their mom would think about him dissing his older brother like that. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to see you, to sit besides you… to ever have a family…. I do now, and it’s the most wonderful thing in the world. But I miss you. I’ve always missed you even when I didn’t know who you were.”</p><p>Sam cleared his throat, “I guess… I guess what I’m saying is thank you… for giving me the best big brother in the world. Dean’s awesome. I love you so much. All of you.”</p><p>He looked up then, tears swimming in his eyes and Dean placed a hand over his head.</p><p>They stayed there for a while, soaking the moment in. When it was time to go, Dean touched the cold stones, first his dad’s and then mom’s. He brought the fingers to his lips and kissed them in a discreet gesture.</p><p>They walked back to the car in silence. </p><p>When Dean started the engine, Sam gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Dean, for bringing me here.”</p><p>“Course,” he said, eyes on the road. </p><p>Sam settled back against the leather seat and hit the play on music. The song continued from where it had stopped-</p><p>
  <em>….Cause I’m back on the track</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I’m beatin’ the flack</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nobody’s gonna get me on another rap</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So look at me now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m just makin’ my play</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t try to push your luck, just get out of my way</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Cause I’m back</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes,…</em>
</p><p>“Let’s get back home now,” Sam said contentedly, tapping his fingers to the rhythm of the song.</p><p>Dean gave his brother a sideways glance. He had a small smile playing on his lips. In their dad’s old car, with his brother by his side, Dean was already home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please consider leaving comments. It would mean the world to me!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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